The ho stroll has been eerily quiet of the sound of clear plastic bra strips rubbing up against greasy lizard skin and that’s because 17-year-old porn iguana beauty Courtney Stodden has been working hard. Freecreditscore.com cast the underage amphibian goddess as a merskank in a big-budget (read: no budget) Super Bowl-worthy commercial (read: it will play during the Robin Byrd Show on public access). Looking like the beauty on a can of Lizard of the Sea, Courtney plays an exquisite merskank who was created when a komodo dragon on high-grade ludes had a threesome with Flotsam AND Jetsam in a toxic waste puddle off the shores of Chernobyl.
Your ass might be thinking that Freecreditscore.com should be arrested for giving Courtney a stage to awkwardly squirm around like she’s trying to hack a hairball up while solving a basic algebra problem at the same time, but this was a smart move on their part. If it fails as a commercial (it has), they can always sell it to Discovery as a new episode of the Deadliest Catch. Nobody will know the difference.
If you can’t see the video above, consider yourself SAVED! Or just click here to see Courtney as Ariel’s sister Achlamydia.