Here’s the official gemstone of Staten Island and the star of Mob Wives, Big Ang, showing the hos of Los Angeles what real beauty looks like as she strolled into Boa Steakhouse to make sweet love to one of the cow carcasses they hang in their freezer room. I don’t know whether I want to watch Big Ang wrestle a pack of warthogs or watch her try to blow a bubblegum bubble without it popping on her baboon pussy lips. I’m falling in love all over again.
This is what it would look like if Sam the Eagle used Jackie Stallone’s back alley plastic surgeon to look like a female Khloe Kardashian. I know, it was wrong of me to compare Big Ang to that beastly trash Khloe Kardashian. I should never do a gorgeous creature of an undermined species like that.