Like Spaz de la Huerta Needs Boardwalk Empire Anyway!

You know how sometimes you wake up in the middle of the night with a heavy feeling of regret sitting at the pit of your stomach? Usually that feeling of regret has a lot do with the piece of Oreo pie you swallowed before bedtime, but when the producers of Boardwalk Empire wake up with that feeling tomorrow it will have everything to do with letting go of the most glamorous thing that has ever happened to their show. TVLine reports that Spaz de la Huerta is Spaz de la Muerte to the producers of Boardwalk Empire, because they have decided to not pick up her contract option for season 3. This is a direct slap to lip liner, which is a direct slap to beauty, which is a direct slap to us all!

Spaz’s character ran away in the middle of season 2, but there was some hope that she’d return in all her glory. But a source type says that Spaz is heading directly for the exit door along with Michael Pitt, Dabney Coleman and Aleksa Palladino (SPOILER ALERT: They were all killed off during the season 2 finale.)

TVLine doesn’t have any details as to why Boardwalk Empire evicted Spaz, but I’m sure that in a few days some “inside source” will say that she was difficult to work with. Spaz, difficult? That’s a “NEVER” if I’ve ever heard one. So what if Spaz probably kept the crew waiting for hours because she was riding the ghost of Elvis in her trailer and refused to stop until the spirit of Graceland moved her to do so. So what if the costumers had to spend thousands of dollars cleaning Spaz’s costume since she regularly sweat bronzer, whiskey and gutter water into them? So what if Spaz bit the cheek of the prop master, because he poured stage booze into her character’s glass instead of real booze. Spaz is an artiste to the core and that’s how they all are!

Spaz doesn’t need that stupid HBO shit anyway. Now she can devote all her time to her real passion: slowly moisturizing the sexy onto her legs for the masses.