Gis Stands By Her Man, Throws Shade At His Teammates While Doing So

As Gisele Bundchen did the walk of sadness through the stadium after her husband Tom Brady lost out on his tenth million Super Bowl ring and a bonus that was going to pay for a water slide in his $20 million mansion (Tom Brady is not weeee-ing today. Sadface.gif.), some Giants fans heckled her ass by saying that Eli Manning owned her husband. Instead of telling her haters that Tom gets to go home and dry his losing tears on the chichis of a Brazilian supermodel, she complained to her friends that the blame goes to her husband’s teammates. The Insider (via Hollywood Life) posted the video that I’m sure is going to convince the owners of the Patriots to fire all the coaches and hire Gis instead! This is the subtle stream of bitchery that slipped out of Gis’ mouth:

“My husband cannot fucking throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time. I can’t believe they dropped the ball so many times.”

Somebody told me that since Tom has been with Gis, he’s been 0-2 and he was on some kind of winning streak before that. So GINXELLE needs to blame herself. No, no, Gis really needs to blame God for this. Gis used the Catholic prayer tool known as the chain mail to get God on Team Pats and she was shut down. So Eli Manning didn’t own Tom Brady, God did when he hit the “return to sender” button on all those prayers.