Blue Ivy Carter Has Six Nannies

February 4, 2012 / Posted by:

Blue Ivy Carter won’t push out a caca unless it’s going into a rabbit fur diaper lined in Scottish cashmere and she won’t roll out of her $22,000 crib unless someone is shaking a canary diamond-encrusted rattle at her, so it’s no surprise that apparently she has six nannies and a diamond collection. Some source tells InTouch Weekly (via IDLYITW) that the holy spawn of Beysus and Jay-Zeus always has a personal nanny on hand whenever she needs to spit up on someone (like she’s going to spit on herself) or needs someone to drag away the House of Dereon’s court jester (Basement Baby) from her sight. B.I.C.’s plans to out Veruca Salt Suri Cruise are going well according to some friend:

According to a friend, the new mom has two nannies on call at all times, which makes for a total of six nannies for little Blue Ivy Carter. “Beyonce wanted to make sure that her daughter has the best of care,” a friend of the singer tells In Touch. “Her diaper is changed every hour.” And proud papa Jay-Z, 42, is also lavishing attention on the newborn – by way of bling. “Jay-Z bought her diamond earrings and a platinum baby bracelet,” reveals the friend. “Even her bottle has pink sapphires on it.”

The rivalry (in my bored head) between Suri and B.I.C is heating up (no, it’s not)!

Since we’re all keeping score, Blue Ivy has six nannies and Suri Cruise has a team of robots-in-waiting provided by Scientology and her own mom is pretty much her personal mule. Point goes to Suri. Blue Ivy has diamond earrings and a platinum bracelet, and Suri Cruise has a tiara made of polished moon rock and a Chanel clutch that doubles as a taser for when Stepford Katie ever acts wrong. Point goes to Suri. Blue Ivy has a bottle with pink sapphires on it and Suri Cruise has only been photographed with a plastic bottle in her hand, embarrassing. Point goes to B.I.C.

So with all that, this story only gets two and a half Angry Suris out of five.

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