Dear Demi Moore, White Oprah Wants Her Act Back
Just a few days before the spirit of a 13-year-old skater boy from the Midwest possessed Demi Moore's body and made her nitrous her way to a seizure, she was partying next to her daughter Rumer Willis in the VIP section at the dick cake party Miley Cyrus threw for her piece. Demi is officially that divorced mom who crashes her kid's birthday party in the basement and hands all the boys bottles of Mike's Hard Lemonade before ripping off her Juicy Couture hoodie to shake her concrete titty balls to a Lil' Wayne song. If you took away the whole "murdering her husband" thing, bitch would be Nicole Kidman in To Die For.
TMZ says that at Miley's party, Demi guzzled down Red Bull after Red Bull like those cans had the jizz of eternal youth in them. Demi partied with Rumer and her friends in the VIP section before leaving at around midnight. Some source says that Demi is wrapping her thighs around her fading youth and refuses to let go. A different source tells People that even Bruce Willis knew Demi was fucked up in a sad way and tried to get her help before she snipped Ashton Kutcher's leash.
When you're a 49-year-old woman partying it up with your daughter at a club and you've got a can of bull piss in your hand while your eyes are watching Miley Cyrus lick the pube beads on a dick cake, somebody needs to tell your ass that this is what rock bottom of a mid-life crisis looks like and you need to stop. Now, I'm not saying that partying with your kids is wrong. I've partied with some of my aunties and it's usually the best. They buy all the drinks and they designate themselves as the responsible driver. They also have your back when you have to punch your way through the bathroom line to drunk barf into the sink. But what they don't do is ruin the damn party by overdosing on whip-its. I swear, Demi should leave that kind of behavior to White Oprah. Get your own mid-life crisis, Demi!
This is sorta OT, but not really since this pic of Miley is part of the post....
I'm old, and I'm OK with that. :) So maybe that's why I cannot begin to understand why a girl would order a cake in the style of a black man's package for her white, allegedly heterosexual boy friend's birthday? I could understand it the other way around (though I think it would be in bad taste for the boyfriend to order it for his girl...her friends should be the ones to do that) but what exactly is the message being conveyed by this phallic confection for one's boyfriend?
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤
"Men have forgotten this truth," said the fox. "But you must not forget it. You become responsible, forever, for what you have tamed."
--"The Little Prince", Antoine de Saint-Exupéry
She really needs better hair.
______________________________________________
"She's Black & I'm Gay--- we create culture."
I do feel sympathy for Tator head and the other two. Having a mother who's number one priority is to stay young and thin and relevant in a town that is so fickle is pretty pathetic.
She should never have left Idaho. She started exercising losing weight and ended up in Charlie's angels with actresses 15 years her junior and she's running around in a black bikini severely under weight and everyone in Hollywood was praising how fantastic she looked and what a great example she was to be so thin and sexy at her age. Then she dates and marries Ashton and she moves from getting fit for movies to feeling like she has to be perfect and skinny and sexy constantly to keep him. She is beyond fucked up. She can't win this sick crusade she's on. She is a major addict with body dysmorphia anorexia and obsessive disorders. Hollywood is the last place she needs to be. Rumer is enabling her mom. Her daughters probably are tired of feeling like mom doesn't approve of their looks or their normal weight bodies so they escaped her crazy house. Move back to Idaho Demi and learn how to eat healthy and enjoy the rest of your time left on earth. Who cares what Hollywood thinks about aging beauties. Have some dignity.
what a dumb cunt,
if i was demi, id be fucking brazilian male models instead of partying with my daughter.
get me some brazilian ding dongs and tea bag, toss their salad do alll that shit! NASTY BITCH! yeah!
instead of being a sad case dumb ass embarrasing hoe, partying with 18 year olds.
Submitted by shoffsky on Sat, 02/04/2012 - 1:03am.
Oh, the ever present drunk vomit to the sink. I've cleaned too many in my lifetime. The woes of throwing good parties.
---------------
I used to have the same measure of a good party.
But then I decided if people trash my house and vomit all over it then it really wasn't a good party.
I'd rather hang with a friend or two than let 100 people crap all over my house and steal my shit.
Funny you say that, because my last sink vomit was exclusively from hanging out with only one close friend. And to think, I started the night by stating,"If I'm going to pour you Bullitt - you have to promise not to get black out and belligerent."
Oh, the ever present drunk vomit to the sink. I've cleaned too many in my lifetime. The woes of throwing good parties.
I guess money really doesn't mean shit insofar as true happiness goes. Demi, get a grip on your pathetic self and appreciate that you're not slogging away at some meaningless job while trying to stretch the home heating oil out for another few weeks. You were once a hot Hollywood property, once had a hot younger (albeit douchey) husband, and guess what? As Henry Hill/Ray Liotta says at the end of Goodfellas, "And now it's all over."
Not exactly egg noodles and ketchup time, but try to at least age gracefully.
Oh, and it never ceases to amaze me how utterly fug Taterhead is. MY EYES!!!!!
I'm sure that Demi spent that whole party thinking, "Woot, I am 'way cool', or whatever the kids are calling it now! Oh yeah!", and all the while Miley and all her teenage friends laughed and laughed at Demi behind her back.
If I was 49 and got an invitation to an 18-year-old's birthday party I would be horribly confused and freaked out. Hell, I'd feel that way *now* and I'm in my early 30s. No way in hell would I actually consider attending, unless the 18-year-old in question was my niece or something.
Demi is rich, and could do something interesting with her life instead of trying to be young forever. It is pathetic how hard she tries to be young. Marrying Ashton Kutcher was stupid. Get over it, Demi...You are far luckier than many people financially.
I'm 42 years old, proud mom of a 23 yr old daughter and 22 year old son and a beautiful grand baby to boot. And there is no way in hell I would want to party with my kids. It would just be too fucking weird.
----------------------------------------------
Submitted by swarm-of-locusts on Sat, 12/17/2011
Bitchin' after the fact about a job that you wanted to do for the fat ass check makes you kind of dick. You go to work, do your bit, collect your money. Lik
Not sorry for this woman, though she is pitiful.
It must be a sad existence to fight such a futile fight at the cost of one's sanity.
If the outcome of this pity party would be for changes in the way people perceive beauty, then she might have accomplished something, but this is hardly likely, considering that people are well aware of the reality of aging for women.
Yup, everyone knows, yet it seems change doesn't come from realizing that it's pretty ridiculous to define and isolate beauty to such a short time period in a woman's life.
Definitely Rumer she can crush walnuts with that jaw.
Demi...just live the way you want to.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pjl8pK7x24w
@Tojo
Yea I'd put my money on rumor as well. Hers just looks stronger and sharp too.
Submitted by jackie on Fri, 02/03/2012 - 5:06pm.
Who would win in a chin fight, rumor or Reese?
-----------------------
Rumor of course! She has those ginormous jaws as back-up!
============================================
...the end
Welcome back to the real world Demi. You are now ugly, your kids are ugly and you only made a handful of successful movies. You will never be a great actress and will most likly live alone for the rest of your life. Now stop acting like you are superior to the rest of us and tell your Republican a hole ex Bruce to go F himself. Thank you.
Who would win in a chin fight, rumor or Reese?
The only difference between Madonna and Demi is the 911 calls for the EMTs
Submitted by TimberSteen on Fri, 02/03/2012 - 2:31pm.
I'm in my mid 20s and it amuses me that this chick would apparently saw off a limb to be young again.
----
This reminds me, I keep waiting for a movie to be made that is a combination Hunger Games and the Biggest Loser. "Conda, if you're not gonna work the fat off your ass this week, pick a limb to be amputated, because MY team is not losing the weigh-in this week...last chance workout, bitches!"
I wouldn't be surprised to learn that Demi is really broke ass broke, accounting for her pursuit of dollar store highs. Sure, some of us could retire off a couple million and live comfortably, but it takes a lot of money to buy and maintain several 10,000 sf homes. Someone has to clean those fuckers regularly.
Submitted by Sweetas on Fri, 02/03/2012 - 2:11pm.
Submitted by mefunigirl on Fri, 02/03/2012 - 2:07pm.
ikr?
and 40 something's know how to keep it on the down, you will NEVER know what truly happened that night if you weren't there.
20's something always whippin out the phones, twatting, tumbling, fbing putting your business out there.
ain't right.
**********************
And little one, hold out for a c-section. You don't want to slide down that. ~ Sweetas
I'm in my mid 20s and it amuses me that this chick would apparently saw off a limb to be young again. Yeah, sure I have a fresh face and perky breasts but I'm also broke as a joke, trying to find my place in this fucknuttified world and feeling all kinds of insecurity. Screw being 25, I think my 30s and 40s will be when the good times really start.
Demi has all the resources in the world at her disposal and she's too busy mourning her lost youth to even notice. The ironic thing is that if she'd put down the drugs and gain 15 lbs she'd be absolutely gorgeous even at *gasp* age 49. I don't understand women who think beauty expires after age 40 because I've seen so many older women who are breathtaking.
Demi's meltdown wasn't about her break-up with Kutcher, whip-its, or K-2 spice. She is a long time user of adderall for weight control. And by looking at photos of her over the past year, she looks like she has been cranking up her dose to rival Lohan. So with her taking way too much adderall and adding Ru's whip-its and K-2 spice to the mix(you know they were totally doing them together) she had a seizure and fell unconscious(post-ictal state). Her adderall use started way before Kutcher in her vain attempt to keep relevant in youth-obscessed Hollywood. Kutcher was just an object, much like her adderall and plastic surgery, to keep up her youthful appearance. I'm not a Kutcher fan by any means, but it is impossible to maintain a relationship with a speed freak. He alluded to it when the news broke of their split when he said it was "tough love". Demi and I are the same age so I can tell you how hard it is to maintain your weight post-menopausal. You either take Goopy's route of colon cleansing 800 calories exercising 24/7 diet, Hollywood's easy as pie "speed" diet, or the only sane one: enjoying life's pleasures in moderation and NOT GIVING A FUCK about a few extra pounds because LIFE IS TOO SHORT. She has been so fucked up all of her life worrying about aging, has she enjoyed any of it? And to me, what is even sadder, is that a real doctor prescribed adderall to a patient with a history of cocaine abuse. WE have sunk so low as a society, that our medical profession is now cashing in our human misery by feeding our addictions.
"Doc, I don't want to fly anymore"
WORD!
Submitted by mefunigirl on Fri, 02/03/2012 - 2:07pm.
A group of women in their 40's on their own, and on the wild is WAYYY more cray fun than a group of 20 something year olds. TRUST.
TRUTH, right there!!! My girlfriends are all close to my age and we have a blast! I would feel old and irritated hanging out with my niece and her 21 yo friends. Hell, at 26 I felt old and irritated around 21yo's lol
Submitted by Sweetas on Fri, 02/03/2012 - 1:36pm.
I don't get why the hell Demi and all these other women want to be perpetually 20. I was borderline special needs at 20, but thought I was a genius. I was broke, awkward, gullible, insecure and naive. Yes I could rock the hell out of a half shirt but no way would I trade for what I have now.
......
^^THIS! I wouldn't be 20 again if you paid me. I didn't know shit. I thought I did, but I didn't.
And, isn't the entertainment industry filled with women in their 40's not acting their age? Couldn't she go out with a group of them and leave her daughters alone?
A group of women in their 40's on their own, and on the wild is WAYYY more cray fun than a group of 20 something year olds. TRUST.
**********************
And little one, hold out for a c-section. You don't want to slide down that. ~ Sweetas
I wonder if Miley went from Ru to Demi back and forth over and over cunt slurping in some after-hours drug ballet
my G-d. Demi, you are pathetic.
***********************************************
I know I have a fickle heart, and a bitterness and a wandering eye, and a heaviness in my head
But don't you remember, don't you remember
The reason you loved me before
From the link Dog posted, the last pic...omg, her arm is almost bigger than her leg and she looks scary intense. Actually, just scary all the way around. This is not going to end well.
http://www.celebitchy.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/wenn3684407.jpg
That photo of Miles makes her look so IDIOTIC. That whole party she threw for her bf... I can't imagine what that dude was thinking when she rolled that shit out and started lickin' on it!!!! *the things I have to endure to get laid* HAHA!
"But then as you're doing your thing, he's just laying there moaning like an old dog having a nightmare." MK
"What is that strange clear liquid dripping out of my eye?" MK
bunch of skunks demi, her daughter? miley , they are the meaning of trash, no whip its?, no helium balloons? demi keep doing what you do! you are a example to follow!!!!!!
"Two girls in a bathroom together---that’s not cool not at LuAnn’s party."Jill Zarin
I wonder if Rumor was embarrassed to have Demi there. My mom went through a mid-life crisis and I was so embarrassed I didn't go back to my hometown for over 3 years. She was hanging out with seniors in high school and getting tattoos with them. Yeah, I almost had to disown her.
If you are old enough to remember what and 8 track tape is, you are too old to hang out with your kids. *side eyes Demi*
-----------------------------
He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
Submitted by TequilaTax on Fri, 02/03/2012 - 1:35pm.
Maybe the kid will be lucky this time, and be a boy.
*********
I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
What is 7/11 weed?
I don't get why the hell Demi and all these other women want to be perpetually 20. I was borderline special needs at 20, but thought I was a genius. I was broke, awkward, gullible, insecure and naive. Yes I could rock the hell out of a half shirt but no way would I trade for what I have now.
So Adderall is just speed? How boring!!!
Thanks, Anno. I haz lots of new avies!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Dj Tenn. on Fri, 02/03/2012 - 1:15pm
Just remember, Bruce Willis is half of the reason why Rumer looks the way she looks. And he is spawning again.
-----------------------------
He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
I like the way Red Bull tastes. :( But then I like to drink pickel juice too.
Submitted by Dog on Fri, 02/03/2012 - 1:21pm.
If you don't have ADHD, what does Adderall do for you? Why do do many of these Hollywood skanks (Gimme Moore, Parisite Hilton, Hillwhorey Cyrus) use it?
********************************************
Because it's legal speed.
Redbull is so nasty. How the feck can one drink one can much less case after case of it?
-----------------------------
He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
Honey just needs to go detox and get happy at her beautiful house in that gorgeous Idaho valley. Do some skiing, snowshoeing, yoga, go to the hot springs. There's no paparazzi and Bruce is nearby. Heck, he owns half the town. Get out of LA! I'd spend all winter in the valley if I could!
Demi used to party with Rumer and Lindsay Lohan too so I'm not surprised.
Submitted by Dog on Fri, 02/03/2012 - 1:21pm.
If you don't have ADHD, what does Adderall do for you? Why do do many of these Hollywood skanks (Gimme Moore, Parisite Hilton, Hillwhorey Cyrus) use it?
It's an amphetamine
PS - always look forward to your new avies :-)
Submitted by Dog on Fri, 02/03/2012 - 12:57pm.
I'm glad my daughter doesn't read this because I'd never live down what I'm about to say.
When I'm with my daughter and her friends (strictly as chauffeur, you understand), I can't even keep up with their conversations. Actually hanging out with them and listening to them go on and on the way they do would make me want to drill my own teeth.
Age brackets exist for a reason, Demi, and those compliments you thought those 20-something guys were giving you were actually them making fun of you in the language of their AGE BRACKET which is incomprehensible to you.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Exactly. Not only should she stick to her own age bracket, but dump Hollywood. SHe has the cash to live anywhere and do anything. Too bad her entire sense of self-worth is tied up in looking a certain way and appealing to a certain demographic of young men, most of whom don't want her. Age is only tragic when you try to look, act, and be 25 years younger, to paraphrase Joe Gillis from Sunset Blvd.
►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄
Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.
"Demi is officially that divorced mom who crashes her kid's birthday party in the basement and hands all the boys bottles of Mike's Hard Lemonade before ripping off her Juicy Couture hoodie to shake her concrete titty balls to a Lil' Wayne song."
BEST.DESCRIPTION.EVAH! Reminds me of Amy Poheler (sp?) in Mean Girls:
http://youtu.be/lB-j6oHiq_c
============
YOU AIN'T GOT NO MONEY!!!! MOVE THE FUCK ON!
~But.Seriously.Folks
That Miley picture is so *barf*. And Potato Head isn't much better.
If you don't have ADHD, what does Adderall do for you? Why do do many of these Hollywood skanks (Gimme Moore, Parisite Hilton, Hillwhorey Cyrus) use it?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Demi likes em' young