Punxsutawney Phil Predicts Six More Weeks Of Winter
In what has to be one of the weirdest American traditions next to stabbing each other's faces off for a 10% off Xbox360 controller the day after Thanksgiving, hundreds pulled themselves out of bed to gather around Punxsutawney Phil's burrow hole in Pennsylvania to predict if we'll have six more weeks of whatever season we're in. The weather tells me that it's not winter, because I wore a t-shirt yesterday and didn't get frostbite to the nipples. This is like winter in hell. YAY for global warming! Let's all raise a can of Aqua Net and spray until the hole in the ozone layer spreads wider than a power bottom on DP Tuesdays at the bathhouse. Keep spraying until it's ten million degrees everywhere, we're all in our thongs we can't walk down the street without tripping over a seal.
Anyway, Punksatwatney Phil pulled his fat, lazy, works-one-day-a-year ass out of his burrow hole this morning and locked eyes with his shadow. Whatever. Phil doesn't know his asshole from his shadow. I would trust the weather prediction skills of a gerbil out of Richard Gere's burrow hole before I would ever trust Phil. We should just let Phil live his lazy life by letting him sleep in on February 2nd. Besides, Phil needs his rest, because in a couple of years, winter will not exist and the heat will bring him out of his burrow hole forever. Phil will have to shave his coat off and drag himself across the desert to bitch fight a seal for the last drop of water in a discarded Poland Springs bottle. On that note...
Happy Bill Murray Day, everyone!
And here's some pictures of Phil's Canadian third cousin, The Lesbeaver, shooting scenes for the all-girl remake of Gleaming the Cube in Miami yesterday.
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Back in the 80's I had a cat named Punxsutawney so I've always known how to spell that name!
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www.dungeonhordes.com
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Phil is just pissed they woke him up, brought in busloads of drunkass noisy people that take pictures, manhandle him and ask for weather predictions... He's FUCKING WITH YOU PEOPLE!!!! LMFAO! Bwahahahahahahaha!
Looooved Groundhog Day!
"But then as you're doing your thing, he's just laying there moaning like an old dog having a nightmare." MK
"What is that strange clear liquid dripping out of my eye?" MK
Poor Europe is getting slammed w/ winter & cold.
Where in the hell did this crazy old-peepaw tale come from? Pagans.
.
.
Liar. It's 80-95 degrees here in Texas (has been for a few weeks now) and humid as all hell. Winter is offically dead.
I'm trying to imagine all this from the groundhog's perspective. It would sort of be like if your ass was slumbering away minding it's own business when all of a sudden Khloe Kardashian swiped you up into her sasquatch arms and held you tightly in front of thousand of loudmouthed people who really need to find themselves a hobby or at the very least have a couple of bong hits.
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
Submitted by Stoney on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 1:53pm.
Bring this fucker down to Memphis where it has been 65 and sunny all week
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same here... today is 70 and clear as a bell.
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"The English are horrible and Oprah is a moron." 01/10/12 the refined Brit, clairey claire
Bring this fucker down to Memphis where it has been 65 and sunny all week and I promise this little shit won't be predicting an extended winter. Why Philly anyway? That place is probably overcast and cold as a witch's tit in a brass bra today.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
This has been the hottest winter I can remember. 6 more weeks of winter? I call bullshit....
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
"I'm doin hoe activities, with hoe tendencies. Hoes are my friends, hoes are my enemies."
Lmao Sucky.
Mable...lol @ doing the Cupcake.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Shit, Mabel, can you repeat that, please? I didnt' get it the FIRST FIVE FUCKING TIMES!
lol
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Jeebus! Sorry for the spam. Stupid Kindle Fire...
No shit, Sherlock. That fucking marmot never predicts an early spring, goddammit.
No shit, Sherlock. That fucking marmot never predicts an early spring, goddammit.
No shit, Sherlock. That fucking marmot never predicts an early spring, goddammit.
No shit, Sherlock. That fucking marmot never predicts an early spring, goddammit.
No shit, Sherlock. That fucking marmot never predicts an early spring, goddammit.
The east coast is supposed to get a bad snow storm mid Feb. According to the farmers almanac :(
What winter?
The resident Persian got up this morning, stretched, yawned, licked his butt, didn't give a shit about shadows of any kind, and went back to sleep. What does it meeeeeeeeean?
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead
i wanna get drunk w/ that groundhog
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 11:01am.
Whatever. I'm a doctor.
Phantom, it sounds like a bad case of Homosexuality. Please seek a Divorce lawyer.
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You fuckin' kill me, sucky! :D
Hmmm, it has been so nice (No jacket for the past 2 days in NYC) but I have a feeling we are about to get hit hard :(. I feel sorry for the people who walked around NYC in 60 weather dressed up like Eskimos. Really? It's not even cold.
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
LMAO @ SUCKAY!!!! ahahahahhahahahah
hope he's ok Phantom
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
Scratch that. Sucky's right. Im off to see my lawyer! A homo, why dint I think of that?!
I know people here aren't doctors, and that anyone could say anything they wanted. I was just sitting here, scared and feeling helpless and waiting for him to wake up and thought I'd ask around (yes on Dlisted) to see if anyone had any good ideas I hadn't thought of yet. And I got a couple of good ideas (thank you). Its not like I was asking for a diagnosis and treatment via Dlist chat or anything. Thanks for the good advice (all of you) now we're going to the doc to see what they say. Fanks hoes! (Said with love :)
You're welcome! Take care! And don't let yourself get stressed out anymore than you already are!!! =o}
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Mountain Dew is also the perfect butt douche to turn to when that stubborn gerbil refuses to fall out of your ass.-Michael K.
@dog
First, I just want to say I am lurrrvin' all the new cute avi's you've been rockin' the last couple of days! Soo cute!
Second-
I came back here to say just exactly what you said. As a Nurse, I certainly am not allowed to diagnose, and in no way would I try. Most certainly, phantom should do what makes her and her BH most comfortable. Use your judgement, you know your hubby better than anyone on here!! If, for any reason you feel like something just isn't "right" or he seems "different" then get him in quickly.
Dog is correct, I don't think there are any doc's on board here, though I know there are several of us in the medical profession. We can give you advice, but I will always say contact your/his pcp or seek immediate medical attention.
Hope he's feeling better soon. And don't let him talk you out of taking him back in today. Always best to follow up, even if feeling better. =o)
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Mountain Dew is also the perfect butt douche to turn to when that stubborn gerbil refuses to fall out of your ass.-Michael K.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 11:01am.
BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAA......
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"When I'm ready to get off, I'll get off"
Groundhog Day is about 6 weeks from the first day of Spring, right? So, DUH! There will always be another 6 weeks of winter when they grab his poor snoozy ass out of his den! And guess what else? The fucking weather has nothing to do with the winter solstice and the vernal equinox, so I guess Groundhog Day was invented so the folks in Punxsatwaty, or whateverthefuckitis, can have a rip ass PARTAY!!!!!! So, it's okay...
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"When I'm ready to get off, I'll get off"
Submitted by skinny fat on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 10:58am.
This is NOT WebMD morons.
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Whatever. I'm a doctor.
Phantom, it sounds like a bad case of Homosexuality. Please seek a Divorce lawyer.
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
I wish that groundhog would bite one of the old fat bastards but they've got the poor thing so drugged up he can barely function, let alone see his fucking shadow.
This is NOT WebMD morons. You don't go to the internet, especially a freaking gossip blog, for medical advice. SERIOUSLY PEOPLE, WTF?
Phantom, with all respect to the well-meaning people on here, we are not doctors. If you feel he is still in danger, call a doctor and get in to see someone even if it's a clinic. Taking medical advice from people on the internet, even if they've been through it themselves, is dangerous. Someone could have had the exact same thing happen to them but their underlying health issues, if they even have any, could be vastly different from your husband's. I know people want to help you and that's really cool. But IMO you need to speak to an actual doctor and let him or her know all your husband's meds and his medical condition and let the professional make an assessment.
Flame me if you want, guys, but I speak the truth.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Ack! Don't know how that happened, but my response to you ended up under phantoms comment. Hmm....
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Mountain Dew is also the perfect butt douche to turn to when that stubborn gerbil refuses to fall out of your ass.-Michael K.
Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 10:47am.
Kelly0213 OMG are you from Nebraska!?!?!!? can I touch you!?
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA :P
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"The English are horrible and Oprah is a moron." 01/10/12 the refined Brit, clairey claire
Kelly0213 OMG are you from Nebraska!?!?!!? can I touch you!?
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky
@phantom
I put a reply under your comment, but just in case you missed it I'm putting it here as well. Good luck!
Hey phantom
As long as he's not having any problems with his breathing he should be ok, but he should follow up back to the ER or his primary doc soon as he's done with his work at home. If he should even remotely complain of feeling as if his throat is tight or any breathing issues call 911 or if u are really close to hospital (less than a min or two away) then get him in.
Is his bp med new, did he just start it or any other med recently? Do you or anyone at the ER notice anything on his lip that might show he was bitten or stung by something? Also, if when he wakes up the swelling has increased, then have him go back in again sooner rather than later. Sign that stuff and get out of the house.
I'd just keep an eye on him, and after he wakes up have him do what he has to do at home and then get him to his doc. I think as long as he's not having any problems with his breathing it should be ok for him to go to his pcp's, he'll be in a medical facility and be able to keep him stabilized until EMS got there if the need should arise.
Stay calm....easier said than done, I know. But, just tell him to get a move on and get him chk'd out fully today. =p
Also, I saw where someone else mentioned to contact his ins, not a bad idea. That way you have it on record.
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Mountain Dew is also the perfect butt douche to turn to when that stubborn gerbil refuses to fall out of your ass.-Michael K.
I will do that Stefystef, thank you. And thank you too guest.
Now he's trying to say he's ok and should just go to work...im not gonna let that happen! Thank you for the advice, again
Submitted by MissAnnThrope on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 10:10am.
I'm old enough to be his nana... but Justin is a cutie.
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I think he's a cutie too!
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...the end
@Phantom: Call your husband's doctor NOW. See if he can see him BEFORE going back to emergency. If not, he can fax or email the referral to the hospital if you want to go back to Emergency.
Also call your medical insurance provider and tell them of your husband's severe allergic reactions overnight. They will probably tell you to take him to his primary physician, but at least have it on the record that you contacted them about his condition.
In the meantime, tell hubby to finish his payroll and get ready to go to the doctor. Good luck!
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Grow up, Demi, and do coke off toilet seats like the rest of us adults do!- Michael K, 1/26/12
Submitted by stefystef on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 10:35am.
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 9:38am.
Oh thanks. Thanks a lot. Now we're going to have 5 blizzards before Presidents' Day.
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No, No, Dog. I'm serious. You don't need to worry. At least on the East Coast.
^^^^^^^^^
What kind of insight you haz? The meteorologists can't predict anything more than what's happening right at that moment (and even then they get it wrong) so how you know dis?
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Dog on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 9:38am.
Oh thanks. Thanks a lot. Now we're going to have 5 blizzards before Presidents' Day.
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No, No, Dog. I'm serious. You don't need to worry. At least on the East Coast.
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Grow up, Demi, and do coke off toilet seats like the rest of us adults do!- Michael K, 1/26/12
*says a prayer for phantom & hub*
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
It's funny to hear the east coasters basking in the weather, yet I saw some dumb asses in down coats and scarves.
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"I bet his crotch looks like an uncooked dough cigar lying on a bed of saffron" MK
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Thu, 02/02/2012 - 9:56am.
Anyone else find it amusing his skateboard says Girl?
^^^^^^^^
I'd find it funnier if it said "Boy".
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
*meds
DP Derp
For all of you East Coasters beaming about the weather.. it's on it's way.. it'll be here (bumfuckNebraska) tomorrow..travelling YOUR WAY.. it's coming from the North and South..
Thanks for da 411 P-Phil...
OT: Speaking of 411 (trying to keep some semblance of relevance to the post...) I have a very important question for you medically inclined Dlisters: the hubby complained last nite before bed that his upper lip felt swollen. It was. I looked it up and symptoms matched (maybe) angioedema or a form of hives, maybe allergic reaction. At 3:30 this am he woke me up and looked like Marge Simpson, it was much worse. Long story short(ish) I took him to the ER and they gave him epinephrine, benedryl and a steroid. We waited. It went down a bit. They want ed to keep him overnight for observation as this is hospital policy. Its hospital policy because they let a Pt. with similar -albeit more severe- sympotons go and he died! Well, we HAD to leave against medical advice so he could sign payroll checks and then we are going back to start it all over again. But the stubborn guy (argh!) wants us to go to his doc to get an observation referral or whatever so we don't have to pay another $150 ER co-pay. ANY advice, medically or otherwise would be appreciated, im so worried! He decided to catch a few zzz's (facepalm) and im sitting here watching him in case he stops breathing. Im freaked out. Help! Thanks in advance to anyone with suggestions!!! Oh and PS he is 45, caucasion and takes hi-blood pressure mess: enalpril (sp?)
Hey phantom
As long as he's not having any problems with his breathing he should be ok, but he should follow up back to the ER or his primary doc soon as he's done with his work at home. If he should even remotely complain of feeling as if his throat is tight or any breathing issues call 911 or if u are really close to hospital (less than a min or two away) then get him in.
Is his bp med new, did he just start it or any other med recently? Do you or anyone at the ER notice anything on his lip that might show he was bitten or stung by something? Also, if when he wakes up the swelling has increased, then have him go back in again sooner rather than later. Sign that stuff and get out of the house.
I'd just keep an eye on him, and after he wakes up have him do what he has to do at home and then get him to his doc. I think as long as he's not having any problems with his breathing it should be ok for him to go to his pcp's, he'll be in a medical facility and be able to keep him stabilized until EMS got there if the need should arise.
Stay calm....easier said than done, I know. But, just tell him to get a move on and get him chk'd out fully today. =p
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Mountain Dew is also the perfect butt douche to turn to when that stubborn gerbil refuses to fall out of your ass.-Michael K.