Open Post: Hosted By Joan Rivers Getting Blazed
What ever kind of medicinal good shit Joan Rivers was smoking on the last episode of Joan & Melissa needs to find its way vaporizer, because it took her on a messed up journey that ended with her getting into the hot tub with her clothes on and drinking chlorine water out of her shoe. I might believe this staged mess if Joan was a newbie stoner-in-training, but she's already admitted that she's smoked her fair share of heaven's blossom and she even toked her original face off with Betty White back in the day. Betty White just turned down the Cypress Hill and took off her bong mask to shake her head at Joan Rivers trying to act like she's that baked. And if throw a black wig on Joan Rivers, this could easily pass as a night in the life of Demi Moore.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 2:38pm.
Congrats on your promotion!
M.E.:
BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!! I have my iTunes on shuffle, goes from Metallica to Journey, to P!nk, to Kenny Chesney then Pantera, Eminem and Beethoven Symphony #9 (Ode to Joy).
HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *spins around in chair*
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Dialing this list today and since I have to stand and walk around alot instead of sit, thankfully all that sitting is very bad for ppls, I will spin when #9 comes up.....hahahahaha!
"Doc, I don't want to fly anymore"
I know that no one is home but I thought I'd post that...I just filed my taxes! (The federal portion) Now I just wait to get my refund and I can do a little shopping.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
Good day/evening/night to one and all, and I mean that on a cellular level.
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"We are here on earth to do good for others.
What the others are here for, I don't know."
W.H. Auden
@TwasBrilling,
That's a good idea. That's exactly what I plan to do.I also plan to talk to a union rep about this very issue. Thanks.
Some women, especially some women bosses, are extremely evil. I'm surprised she hasn't burst into flames or sprouted horns while she's at work.
Ah Jack! As they say here, "Doh je sai!", which means thanks so much! I WILL make the best of it and I'll check in when I can. Hugs to you, hon!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Deb - good luck to you... make the best of it...
*good vibes your way sweetie*
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"The English are horrible and Oprah is a moron." 01/10/12 the refined Brit, clairey claire
Greetings from Hong kong, ho's! It's 14 hours ahead here.
Things are going well so far. The hub is working today and tomorrow while I recover from the trip and find my way. I'm here for 2 weeks.
Wish me luck, all as I send love your way!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
♫ Well, they'll stone ya when you're trying to be so good,
They'll stone ya just a-like they said they would.
They'll stone ya when you're tryin to go home.
Then they'll stone ya when you're there all alone.
But I would not feel so all alone,
Everybody must get stoned. ♫
.
.
*bows*
*gives peace sign to balcony*
*passes joint on*
.
.
NICKELBACK ROCKS!!!
*I like the way you still say please*
*air guitar*
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"The English are horrible and Oprah is a moron." 01/10/12 the refined Brit, clairey claire
lmfao... i gotta find a dispensary with louis xiii.
thanks michael k!
Submitted by Bizzarelife on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 7:26pm.
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Women are evil. Is meeting with an HR rep and your boss "to discuss sick leave and workload balance" an option or will it just piss her off?
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 2:38pm.
Cupcake was told to stay "after school" yesterday, and thought she was getting laid off because the company is small and was cutting my hours already, however, much to my shock and amazement, I got a small salary increase AND a promotion. The place is small, so it isn't a huge deal, but it is something in "this economy".
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Congratulations, Cuppy! ♥
Submitted by Thats_Real_Mature on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 2:49pm.
Submitted by annobanano on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 2:29pm.
Favor time: If any of you Slores are from Michigan, could you look deep down into the depths of your cold, blackened hearts and sign a petition to save a dog? Really a sad story. Thanks:
http://www.saveheidi.com/
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Not from Michigan, but signed anyway and shared.
ditto!!
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...the end
Submitted by suckandfuck on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 3:10pm.
Submitted by jonsaman on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 2:53pm.
i am gay
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we know
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Hahahahahahaha, Sucky!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Submitted by EveryStrangersEyes on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 7:33pm.
Submitted by Bizzarelife on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 7:26pm.
I have to have actual foot surgery where I will not be able to even WALK properly for days
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pfft!... you wheel your ass in there and do your job, damnit!... i'm kidding, i'm kidding!
you need a little bit of Al in your life, in my opinion...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAfiPbwoSIY
best wishes!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
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LOL...you are funny. Thanks for this.
I appreciate the wishes...I need all I can get. I am definitely digging the Dlisted crew. Thanks for all your hilarity, people!
Submitted by Bizzarelife on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 7:26pm.
I have to have actual foot surgery where I will not be able to even WALK properly for days
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pfft!... you wheel your ass in there and do your job, damnit!... i'm kidding, i'm kidding!
you need a little bit of Al in your life, in my opinion...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAfiPbwoSIY
best wishes!
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
Got another email from the evil scarecrow that is my boss. She actually had the balls to say that I need to take "corrective action" to control my sick leave. WTF is correct action? I guess that means I should never get sick? WTF?
Meanwhile, my coworker has a boss that lets her work from home (with the slightest provocation). Well, your child has a sniffle? Go home and work. You are not well? Go home and work. Blah blah blah.
I have to have actual foot surgery where I will not be able to even WALK properly for days. Did they offer a work at home option for me? NO. I suppose the preggo chick in my office has a much better cause to work at home. I suppose my work colleagues with sick kids have a better option. I do not begrudge them their time - FAR from it. I just get very pissed off when others play favorites.
RIDICULOUS. I am about to blow a friggin gasket. CRAZY. I have sent out inquiries to find another post - this place is too nutso for me. Enough is enough. Not worth so much depression. Blech.
Submitted by yucko on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 5:25pm.
Nyuugh. Tomorrow I have to do some paper proposal thing. It's only a few minutes, but it still requires standing in front of a group of people while talking. Does anyone have any anti-nervous/anxiety tips, routines, whatever? I don't think I have any prescription "help" available through anyone around me. I could manage, but if I could somehow avoid being too nervous that would be a miracle.
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Yes. I have given presentations in front of higher level employees. I even had to give a presentation in front of a couple of high ranking military individuals.
All you have to do is imagine you are speaking to someone in conversation. Walk around. Do not grasp a podium or any objects. Use your hands (to express yourself - no, not in "that way"!). Look people in the eye and do an occasional scan of the faces of your audience. Keep them engaged by directly addressing them with your eyes.
I am a Toastmaster, and this is the best thing you can do. The most important thing to do is to understand that it is just a quick speech. They will most likely not even be expecting much. Wow them and be as confident as possible. DEEP breaths. Organize your thoughts tonight. Practice a few times, so that you know what you are going to say. DO NOT read off of a page or look at anything while you are trying to speak. Only look at your slides while presenting, and look at the audience.
Good luck! I know you will do great!
Wake me when Betty White is filmed having a smoke off with Willie Nelson in the back of his tour bus with a vaporizer and a kilo of Blue Dream. Now THAT would be amusing.
After a certain age, they should just give the shiz to senior citizens. At least they can have a laugh instead of sitting around drinking Ensure and waiting to die.
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Vanity is the price of fame.
its like 3 pages of someones work..waah! what am I gonna have for lunch today..maybe some tuna with a side of who gives a shit
This is like when Joan supposedly spread her friend's ashes all over the shops on Rodeo Drive. Silly slapstick, sometimes the funny run out so they try shit. Last night's Daily Show and Stephen Colbert sucked donkey balls. You can't always be hot. It is hard to be funny.
THAT'S WHY WE LOVE MK HE PULLS IT OFF EVERY F'N DAY!
"Doc, I don't want to fly anymore"
Nickelback sucks
Belated congrats to Evil Cupcake!
Hurray!
Nyuugh. Tomorrow I have to do some paper proposal thing. It's only a few minutes, but it still requires standing in front of a group of people while talking. Does anyone have any anti-nervous/anxiety tips, routines, whatever? I don't think I have any prescription "help" available through anyone around me. I could manage, but if I could somehow avoid being too nervous that would be a miracle.
What's good DL fam?
If only weed made me that fucked up.
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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?
http://chakrakahn.tumblr.com/
love her, hate her, love her, hate her, etc., ... that's the way it's been for me since i was barely veal. not a love-hate thing, just love her OR hate her thing.
been in my life so long that she's celebrity family now.
so, i admit i love her even though she makes me cringe.
-that's what family is all about.
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"The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing."
~Edmund Burke
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
The saddest part about Joan's show is that a talented, brilliant legend like her is passing this absolute fake, scripted crap off as entertainment. Her daughter has ZERO appeal and the entire concept is completely unbelievable. With age does not come dignity, apparently.
SDR - no, we have to split it... :(
Good night all... going to pick up Lil G!
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"The English are horrible and Oprah is a moron." 01/10/12 the refined Brit, clairey claire
Submitted by urmomma on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 3:25pm.
Yeah, I have read this blog for years too, but I ain't gettin' no play
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*blows kisses,waves,jumps up and down*
HELLO!
the fucks a FB IPO? will it make me rich?=D
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
"I'm doin hoe activities, with hoe tendencies. Hoes are my friends, hoes are my enemies."
Mike... Ikr...lol.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by guest on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 3:52pm.
My son is listening to Nickelback...
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Disown him immediately.
Jack - Soooo are you on the hook for any of that? *gulp* Jeezus, when I divorced Dickhead #1 we had $$$ assets but we had $$ debt too. I let him keep his beloved assets and walked away. Two years later the business closed (prob due to economy & poor management). Karma is a cool thing. Keep yo' chin up dude!
I haven't seen a Uvy rant but I bet it is a site to behold. I think of good rebuttals but it's usually 24-48 hours later. FML.
SAAAWOOOOOON at SDR and GG! *feels the love...it feels sticky. I likes it. A Lot*
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I've got ten bucks and me and dirty eddie are staying out all weekend! - Rob Pue (thank you BBitch and Sweetas)
The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 3:53pm.
Oh shit Jack! I thought you were kinda joking about the text. Is this the one with tax issues?
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yup... $300,000
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"The English are horrible and Oprah is a moron." 01/10/12 the refined Brit, clairey claire
Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 3:47pm.
she is good at it... another one that's really good... Uvy. Not only will she cut you down, you usually have to google some of the words LOL
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"The English are horrible and Oprah is a moron." 01/10/12 the refined Brit, clairey claire
I just saw the clip for Joan & Melissa
not only is staged but goddamn those some ugly looking people
"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma
*passes BBitch the air guitar* ...hold this! *goes back to work...*
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I've got ten bucks and me and dirty eddie are staying out all weekend! - Rob Pue (thank you BBitch and Sweetas)
The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
Oh shit Jack! I thought you were kinda joking about the text. Is this the one with tax issues? Brilliant text, if I do say so my self!
Ditto SDR! Urmomma can passout on my lawn any time!
My son is listening to Nickelback on his headphones on the other side of the room. That's how loud it is! *think of your hearing sonny* *shakes cane*
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by beakers bitch on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 3:45pm.
I got no response... but last night her daughter texted me "LMAO, heard what you texted Mom!"... :) evidently her mother and pepaw stepdad are in the Bahamas for her bday. *shoots self*
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"The English are horrible and Oprah is a moron." 01/10/12 the refined Brit, clairey claire
?
*lovingly pets urmomma on the head*
Can I confess something? You are my absolute idol when it comes to issuing a verbal smackdown to assholes on this site. Some of your posts have such a way with words that they make my nipples all perky. I would never want to get into a verbal altercation with you.
*sits down now with red embarassed face*
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 3:31pm.
Submitted by SpottedDogRanch on Wed, 02/01/2012 - 3:27pm.
oh, yea... along with everything else. It was her birthday yesterday and I texted her "Happy birthday, sweetie!! I was thinking about buy you a fridge for your birthday but bought beer instead... tell your husband I said to DRINK HIS ENSURE"
LOLOLOL! I bet that didn't go over well.
Congrats, Cuppy! Rub it in that Payless girl's face.
*sits next to urmomma and stares creepily*
Joan's show is so fake. This whole pot story was pathetic. They never showed her inhaling and blowing out any smoke. After she took a puff in the car she passed the pipe to her friend and the weed in the bowl was not burnt. But she started to act like she was stoned. Or how she thought someone who's stoned should act. Sad. Joan is so funny. She doesn't need this pathetically scripted bs. Booo!
Was this supposed to be entertaining? I was bored after 30 seconds. TV is full of absolute fuckin shyte.
*ignores the shit outta y'all* HOW DO YOU LIKE IT!???
Nah, I am not like that....*rocks air guitar while balancing on rolling chair at desk*
Who can spell worker's comp?! Yeah. Good stuff.
*snickers at REO...* It's time for me to flyyyyy....shitter.
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I've got ten bucks and me and dirty eddie are staying out all weekend! - Rob Pue (thank you BBitch and Sweetas)
The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK