Good Morning, Here’s Jean Dujardin Kissing The Tip
One of the best part of any awards show (besides THE END) is watching the heads of celebrities nearly combust while trying not to roll their eyes over the stupid as shit questions the alien ant that is Giuliana Rancid asks them on the red carpet. “Do you know Brad and Angelina?” is a real question that jumped off of Giuliana’s tongue into Meryl Streep’s ear. If looks could go to Home Depot, Meryl’s would’ve gone to the nearest one to buy some Borax to sprinkle all over Giuliana for wasting her time with that shit. The third best part of any awards show is when the winners go into the press room to pose with their trophies, because there’s always some hot piece who kisses the tip and at last night’s SAG Awards that hot piece was Jean Dujardin of The Artist.
Since I pretty much look at everything through peen-shaped glasses (like these), these pictures of Jean kissing the tip are making me pull out my dick clip art and bring out the “penisize” tool in Photoshop. And I have a feeling that Jennifer Aniston is going to do the same thing with the “beaniebabyize” tool, because Jean Dujardin sort of does look like a slightly gassy Justin Theroux.
Aaand here’s a list of last night’s winners:
Outstanding Performance By A Male Actor In A Supporting Role
Christopher Plummer, “Beginners”Outstanding Performance By A Female Actor In A Supporting Role
Octavia Spencer, “The Help”Outstanding Performance By A Male Actor In A Comedy Series
Alec Baldwin, “30 Rock”Outstanding Performance By A Female Actor In A Comedy Series
Betty White, “Hot In Cleveland”Outstanding Performance By An Ensemble In A Comedy Series
“Modern Family”Outstanding Performance By A Female Actor In A Television Movie Or Miniseries
Kate Winslet, “Mildred Pierce”Outstanding Performance By A Male Actor In A Television Movie Or Miniseries
Paul Giamatti, “Too Big to Fail”Outstanding Performance By A Female Actor In A Drama Series
Jessica Lange, “American Horror Story”Outstanding Performance By A Male Actor In A Drama Series
Steve Buscemi, “Boardwalk Empire”Outstanding Performance By An Ensemble In A Drama Series
“Boardwalk Empire” (Ed note: WHERE WAS SPAZ????!!!?)Outstanding Performance By A Male Actor In A Leading Role
Jean Dujardin, “The Artist”Outstanding Performance By A Female Actor In A Leading Role
Viola Davis, “The Help”Outstanding Performance By A Cast In A Motion Picture
“The Help”
I cannot end this post without bringing up the grade school skit that Modern Family tried to pass off as an acceptance speech.
Somebody wrote that thing and all of them actually spent their time rehearsing it. Nothing says “We Got This And We Know It” like rehearsing an acceptance speech skit that the writers wrote for you. Presumptuous bitches, all of them!. I swear, it’s a damn shame that the Australian Open t-shirt snatcher didn’t bum rush all of them before stealing their trophies.
