The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For January 30th!

Beware, ladies, this is what happens if you fuck a guy with a pencil dick. - jazzfish_77

Runners-up:

You might be a redneck if.....your fetus has already mastered the art of tattooing from inside the uterus. - pamorama_j

And to think, just five months ago it was a tattoo of a penis going into a vagina. - Sweetas

Coincidentally this is exactly what Beyonce's ultra sound looked like. - Whamo

via Awkward Family Photos (Thanks to the reader who sent this in. My stupid ass lost your email)

Posted by: Michael K

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The CAPTION THIS Contest

Submitted by Sandbitch on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 12:11pm.

They are all fucking funny as. Y'all deserve something.

Submitted by christine the hoff on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 11:42am.

You guys, LMFAO
I'm tardy to the party, wasn't home, but congrats to the funniest sluteheads on the planet!

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Screw you guys, I'm going home!

Submitted by pixxxie on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 11:18am.

that guys hands are so dirty.. makes me wonder if they were like that when they were making the baby.. yuck.. i couldnt.. i just couldnt.. *gags*

Submitted by BaconSlut on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 11:10am.

You whorz are funny AWESOME! 'Grats!
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead

Submitted by crazyassmom on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 10:35am.

Poor child. When he/she is older, will look in the mirror and wish they'd have drowned in the gene pool. With any luck, it'll end up being a reverse Demi/Bruce situation for this kid!! ::kneels and prays for baby::

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Mountain Dew is also the perfect butt douche to turn to when that stubborn gerbil refuses to fall out of your ass.-Michael K.

Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 9:48am.

Congrats all!

LMAO @ Jazzy's pencil dick comment. MARIPOSA

______________________________________________
McGill Class of '97

*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-

Submitted by agirl on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 9:42am.

Well done, winners!!

You know that she bought that uglay yella bra and panties set just for this pic and put on her "fancy" glasses before scraping her hair off her forehead for this heartwarming family photo... bitch thinks she looks like Demi Moore on the cover of Vanity Fair!

And that would be a FAIL, in case you were wondering!

Submitted by guruXen on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 9:37am.

Niiiice.

Submitted by clutching-at-straws on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 9:36am.

HaHa!! Those are hilarious! Congrats you guys!

Submitted by Ms.Fit on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 9:24am.

Congratzz Sweetas, Whamo & pajamas, LOL!! "Pencil dick" that's classic, Jazzy!

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Shit just got tyrannoserious - MK

Submitted by parissucksliterally on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 9:00am.

great winners!!

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I'm still hopin' one day I might hear you say
I make you feel a way you've never felt before
And I'm all you need and that you never want more

Submitted by suckandfuck on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 8:38am.

Submitted by Sweetas on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 9:29am.

Thanks MK and his minions! ♥ And lmao sucky...my dluminati super secret decoder ring says "you drunk hor" so it must be working again.
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olloollo

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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.

Submitted by Deb on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 8:31am.

Wow! Congrats jazzy, pamorama_i, Whamo, & Sweetas!! All funny as hell!

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 8:17am.

Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 9:40am.
Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 9:26am.

::plays get the fuck off the stage music::
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*Does one armed pushups and refuses to leave stage*

ahahaha ::sends a streaker on stage to distract you::

Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 8:13am.

Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 9:17am.
Whoo-hoo!! Congratulations to runers up pamorama_j, Sweetas, and Whamo! Some funny freaking captions today!!
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Congrats Jazzy, you are king like!!

Cheers to pamorama_j and Sweet Ass,

Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 8:10am.

Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 9:26am.

::plays get the fuck off the stage music::
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*Does one armed pushups and refuses to leave stage*

Submitted by Sweetas on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 7:59am.

Jazzy, just frickin spectacular. Congrats pamorama_j and Whamo too...funny shit guys!!

Thanks MK and his minions! ♥ And lmao sucky...my dluminati super secret decoder ring says "you drunk hor" so it must be working again.

Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 7:56am.

Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 9:23am.

::plays get the fuck off the stage music::

hehehe

congrats again Whambamthankyoumaam ; )

Submitted by Dog on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 7:56am.

Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 9:23am.

I was first runner up once. NYAH.

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www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by Ophelias evil twin on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 7:53am.

eek that is muy disturbing.. I blame Dumi Moore for this trend with preggos.

Anywhores, congrats to all !!

Submitted by Whamo on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 7:53am.

First off I'd like to thank MK and the Academy and for having faith in me by giving me 3rd runner up, as well I'd like to thank the winner and my fellow smart asses because without them I'd be bla bla bla bla bla bla......and when I was 5 I had a teacher that would say Whamo you really should....bla bla bla bla bla...and then at 18 I knew I'd found my calling because..bla bla bla blablab bla......then I lost my virginity to...bla bla bla bla...and after those dark dark day I never thought I'd ever be able to bla bla bla bla bla...and I see my time is running out so I'd like to conclude with....

He likes me, he really really likes me!!.

Submitted by jazzfish_77 on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 7:47am.

Whoo-hoo!! Congratulations to runers up pamorama_j, Sweetas, and Whamo! Some funny freaking captions today!!

Thanks, MK!!

Submitted by snowpiece on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 7:46am.

congrats to all my pals, funny shit, love you guys!

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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky

Submitted by little_rascal on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 7:42am.

LMAO @ Sucky!!!

Submitted by urmomma on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 7:42am.

Too funny! yay! Jazzy Sweetas Whamo and pamorama!
*claps and whistles*

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I've got ten bucks and me and dirty eddie are staying out all weekend! - Rob Pue (thank you BBitch and Sweetas)

The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK

Submitted by guest on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 7:36am.

Lmao! Congrats Jazzy, Sweetz, WHAMO & Pamorama.

(lol sucky)

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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.

Submitted by Vern on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 7:26am.

LMFAO PERKY!!!!!

SweeeeeeeeeetASSS went to the Wal-marts Photgraphicer!

*chanting as always*

Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.

Submitted by little_rascal on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 7:25am.

Whoa, what a splendid lineup of winners, Jazzy, Sweetas, Whamo and Pamorama! Congrats!

Submitted by Dog on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 7:17am.

Jazzy, is dat yo baby mama!

Congrats to the weiners! ♥

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by perky on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 7:17am.

Sweetas!!! Thanks for sharing this beautiful family photo with us!! Congrats winners... hehe!

Submitted by Vern on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 7:13am.

Holy Whore-stars Tat-Mom!!!

Yay McJazzman, Pan, SweeeeeeetASS, Whammoooo and SUCKY!

*chanting as always*

Shut the fuck up kid, you're in my closet now.

Submitted by sushi on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 7:10am.

Pencil dick. OMG, that was fucking priceless!

Submitted by WithinReason... on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 7:05am.

Congrats all, these were great! :)

"But then as you're doing your thing, he's just laying there moaning like an old dog having a nightmare." MK

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 7:05am.

Congrats to the all-star line up of winners... very funny!

LMAO at sucky
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"The English are horrible and Oprah is a moron." 01/10/12 the refined Brit, clairey claire

Submitted by Jintess on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 7:05am.

Hooray Jazzfish, pamorama,Sweets (<3) and Whamo!!
Excellent captions

Submitted by Kelly0213 on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 7:05am.

Jazzfish is genius!

Submitted by Mabel Hodges on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 7:02am.

Laughed my ASS OFF! Thanks, weiners!

Love, Mabel

Submitted by OurMissC on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 7:01am.

Awesome lineup of winning whores today! Congrats!

OURMISSCunt - per the inimitable suckandfuck, 12-23-11.

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 6:59am.

Ahahahahahaha! Jazzy that was da bomb! Congrats Sweetas , Whamo and panorama_j.

Submitted by suckandfuck on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 6:57am.

WELL WELL WELL LOOK AT THAT WELL WELL WELL WHAT A SURPRISE HMM I WONDER WHY HE KEEPS WINNING OH IT'S PROBABLY HIS WIT AND GENERAL HILARITY YES THAT MUST BE IT. YES OF COURSE. YES. THAT IS THE REASON FOR SURE DEFINITELY WITHOUT A DOUBT YES. HMM. YES

Submitted by Janetrenowins on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 6:07am.

What she's really thinking is "I hope this kid doesn't come out with a afro..because that's gonna cost me at least another $50 for this tattoo"

Submitted by kathleenvh on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 5:45am.

I can hear this little voice saying "let me out! let me out!"

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Just hit the mute button or turn your ears into vaginas (aka fold them over each other). - MK

Submitted by TFBuckFutter on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 5:09am.

Ah ha! We now know where Rick Santorum's two votes came from.

Submitted by Oldie on Tue, 01/31/2012 - 4:32am.

And this is why I don't believe in God. I meditated and prayed that whole 9 months that Chaz Bono and a teenage Mother wouldn't be my parents.

Submitted by beakers bitch on Mon, 01/30/2012 - 10:36pm.

Submitted by Half.Mexican.Wonder on Mon, 01/30/2012 - 11:40pm.
Apparently that dude and chick from the A-ha "Take On Me" video figured out how to do it, despite all the multidimentional constraints.

WIN! Are the kids still saying that these days?

Submitted by City Barbie on Mon, 01/30/2012 - 10:27pm.

St. Angie never imagined that she'd get the inspiration for her next tatoo from a redneck engagement photo.