Houston Will Finally Get The Beyonce Monument They’ve Been Begging For

January 27, 2012 / Posted by:

Not to be outdone by the monument to Basement Baby made by basement mice using moth balls, shredded cardboard and stuffed animal stuffing, a company called Armdeonce Ventures (aka Mama Tina’s cousins) is looking for donations to build an homage to the greatest thing that has happened to Houston since the Beer Can House.

Never mind that Syracuse already has erected a mighty Beyonce monument, why donate to such worthy causes as homelessness, hongray children, abused animals and Basement Baby’s “Get Out of the Basement” fund when you can donate to a useless piece of shit cause like building a tribute to Blue Ivy’s mother. Every Houstonian who doesn’t have the last name Knowles is making the same face Beyonce is making in the picture above over this fucked up news.

Marcus Mitchell and Steve White of Armdeonce Ventures tell MyFox Houston that city has already approved their plans and now they’re just trying to scrape up the money so they can build their Beyonce monument by the end of this year. This is what Marcus said when explaining his plans and I’m just going to go ahead and assume this ho has been sniffing a whole lot of wig glue lately.

“Our biggest thing is a lot of people get honored when they die, so our goal is to why not honor people why they’re still here? We felt as though it’s her time to be honored. We wanted to construct, like, a massive hall so as the doors open, if you donated to the monument, you’ll have a separate nameplate. There will be clips of Beyonce with Destiny’s Child and wardrobe like a mini museum. We’ve gotten support from the city of Houston, from the mayor. We’re waiting for a very nice letter from the mayor right now.”

On a positive note, Houston’s Beyonce monument will be the final signal the rapture will need to eat the earth from the outside in.

If Marcus and Steve really want to honor Beyonce, they should “borrow” an obscure monument from a European country and slap her name on it. That is the ultimate tribute.

(Thanks Nikki & Jazzfish)

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