On ESPN’s Dan Le Batard is Highly Questionable (via THR) the other day, Pat Sajak told Dan Le Batard (pronounced: luh butt tard) a secret and it wasn’t that his current hairpiece is made of Vanna White’s old bangs or that he was the prototype for the Teddy Ruxpin doll. Pat told Mr. Luh Butt Tard that back in the 80s he and Vanna would drown their insides with a margarita typhoon between shows and then stumble back to the set not knowing their vowels from their consonants. So basically, nothing has changed!
“Vanna and I would go across and have two or three or six and then come and do the last shows and have trouble recognizing the alphabet. They’re really good tapes to get a hold of. I had a great time. I have no idea if the shows were any good, but no one said anything, so I guess I did OK. I would be hesitant to have anything to drink now.”
And after the show, the drunk hot flashes would overtake Vanna and Pat’s bodies, so they’d rip off their clothes, she’d sprawl out on the wheel, he’d spin it and then poke her with his peen every time she came around. When Vanna had enough, she’d put the bankrupt wedge over her chocha. But seriously, Vanna keeps giving me reasons to hate her. I already hate her for the following reasons:
1. Vanna gets to drape herself in ensembles that are the epitome of GLAMOUR. (Exhibit: A)
2. Vanna has a luscious mane of ash blond hair that takes hairspray like no other.
3. Vanna starred in NBC’s greatest achievement, The Goddess of Love.
4. Vanna’s job is so easy that a fat, lazy fart-brained chihuahua can do it. No, seriously, I have a fat, lazy, fart-brained chihuahua and even he can touch an iPad when it glows.
5. Vanna’s face is on yarn.
The list goes on and on, but now “getting fucked up on the job” is now at the top of that list. Although, I shouldn’t really hate her for that one since I’m typing this while wondering if my diet will allow me to switch the wheat bread on my sandwich for beer.
And here’s one of the clips Pat was talking about:
I should be impressed by his chugging skills, but I’m more impressed that the pussy wig on his head stays on even when he tilts back.