TMZ says that Demi Moore did have a seizure on Monday night, but it wasn’t from downing a cocktail of coke, benzos and most of her liquor cabinet like most of us figured. They say that Demi and an Arizona junior high schooler who just got into Blur have a lot in common, because she was inhaling nitrous from a can when she slipped into a semi-coma. Yes, bitch was doing whip-its. I wish I meant that she was sucking fumes out of a Whippet’s ass, but no. If Demi ever ran out of nitrous, she’d be walking on sunshine over to OfficeMax to get some computer duster like Allison’s ass.
The source says that Demi was clouding her pain by inhaling whip-its and she ended up having a sort of seizure on the floor before she fell into a half coma. Even Lindsay Lohan is looking at Demi and thinking, “Broke trash!” You know, everybody’s always screaming about how Demi is trying to hold on to youth by marrying a toddler, partying with her daughters and taking MySpace-like bikini pictures in her bathroom, but I shrugged all that off until now. Partying with your daughters is one thing, but drugging like a 14-year-old suburban kid is another. Grow up, Demi, and do coke off toilet seats like the rest of us adults do!
Hopefully, Demi gets the help that she needs, because going to the hospital for a whip-it overdose is not the way a 49-year-old should go through life. I can just picture Demi with Vicks under her nose and Limp Bizkit blasting out of her speakers. How dreadful. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get the sound of Devo out my head by sucking on a whip-it for old time’s sake.