Tim Gunn Hasn't Been Laid Since Reagan Was In Office
If you're 29 years old or younger, then I'm not sure how you'll feel knowing that through your entire life Tim Gunn never made it work all over a pair of greasy man nalgas. Not once. Tim Gunn closed up his downtown fuck shop (both locations) 29 years ago, swallowed the key and isn't planning a grand reopening anytime soon. Tim said on his show The Revolution (via UsWeekly) yesterday that he went celibate after a boyfriend screwed him up emotionally by putting him down while impatiently waiting for his dick to rise (at least I think that's what Tim is trying to say).
"I haven't had sex in 29 years. Do I feel like less of a person for it? No. Not even remotely.It's very personal. I was in a very intense relationship for a long time. And my partner ended it, saying that, quite frankly, he was impatient with my sexual performance.
I'm a perfectly fulfilled person, but it's very physiological. I have feelings. It's not as though I'm some barren forest. I don't want to imply to anyone that I have a mandate that says no sex. I don't. I don't know what's around the corner."
I know this might be hard for some of you 24-hour slut whore tramp skanks to understand, but sex it not the be-all and end-all for some people. And yes, I know what your slut mind just imagined when you read "end-all." I did too. But for some, happiness is not a hard dick or a warm cooch. Mind boggling, I know. And yes, I know what your slut mind just imagined when you read "mind boggling." I did too. We really have to stop watching clips on Brazzers at the same time.
Tim seems happy, even though he hasn't had any of his parts around a peen for THREE DECADES, and that's the only thing that matters. But I bet Tim finds ways to get his. I bet that every now and again he slips on a harness made of Brooks Brothers suspenders and makes a trick (wearing a mask of his ex-partner's face) lick the bottom of his oxford loafer like his bitch.
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Casual sex destroys a person. I am a liberal but sex is not a recreational sport. There is nothing worse than being a whore. No one wants a whore. Except other whores. Gross. Disease. Death.
I totally get this. I just broke 3 years of celibacy and to be honest I wished I hadn't. Obviously it's my own views about my body and sharing etc but I can totally get where he's coming from.
Have to say it again: I HEART TIM GUNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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www.dungeonhordes.com
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He can't afford CBT sessions to help him over this?
How sad, sad, sad.
Who's so stupid to believe this guy?
tim's voice is awesome - he should do voice work. twenty nine years is a long time, wow.
also wow at all of these i hate/never have sex comments! that's terrible and sad. good sex has so many health benefits, so i hope the fuck fairy brings everyone (myself included) commenting in this entry a screaming orgasm this weekend.
I heart Tim so if it makes him complete good for him,
we've all done the one-night thing and the "meh-why-not?" guys and girls but fucking like dogs with strangers you end up with sick mind puzzling problems like how that guy didn't call you back although you had wonderful sex and that other guy was horrible in bed and blamed you for it or turns out that girl was fucking your best friend too etc, and every day we become more and more physically and emotionally drained, fucking with our self-esteem, it's like having syphilis or whatever cause being horny all the time makes you fucking nuts in the head, i know I've been there numerous times.. for me having sex now, if it's not for the purpose of building something and discovering a person I genially am interested for further, then beating off is a far better option than embarrassing awkward sex with some random person that you/they don't know your/their sex buttons and will never stick around to discover them,etc
See what Anadra did by mixing celibacy and vodka... major WOW factor.
*marches behind agirl holding "SLUTS OF THE WORLD, UNITE!" sign*
@agirl
LOLOLOLOL lmao oh shut up!
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"The world is a pretty nice place if you're happy"
John Garfield
No one lives forever
@Event Horizon, I am glad that someone agrees with me. These hypocritical beyotches don't deserve to be called sluts! No, not on their best day!
"Sex with someone special" rather than a vaguely-remembered-the-next-day booze-soaked parking lot gangbang? I tell you, that's what's WRONG with this country!
I am so glad my grandma is not alive to see this. Kids today! It would break her heart. What's next? Faithful use of condoms? Respecting your partner? Getting to know someone before sex, as opposed to getting the hell out as soon as you can get all your panties back on?? Dressing without your naughty-bits on display?
I weep for the future, with all this safe, sensible, fulfilling secks. GOD HELP US ALL! WHY? WHYYYYYY?
*shakes fist at the sky*
Sex is over-rated. Masturbation is under-valued.
Find it hard to believe. There had to at least have been some Filipino fineness somewhere down the road.
I haven't had sex since June, and the last few times were so underwhelming that I would rather have been home alone, masturbating.
Event Horizon. Please go back on the birth control. The world does not need another loser single mother and no kid deserves to be stuck with a whore for mother.
I haven't had sex in 6 years, and let me tell you, I don't miss it at all.
I love Tim. He is so cool.
Submitted by oceanlover998 on Wed, 01/25/2012 - 5:16pm.
...from madtv...Michael McDonald does a killer Tim Gunn...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHq3ToCXIy0
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Oh my god. Hilarious!!!
"I LOVE BABIESSSSSS"
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
@agirl...
Ahh X-D *gasps*
Feel you! Anyone whos not putting all the free time and energy into getting a nice, thick, long piece of stick on this site I gotta look sideways at....
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
"I'm doin hoe activities, with hoe tendencies. Hoes are my friends, hoes are my enemies."
Well I for one am extremely disappointed in all you Dlisters who are not having loads of indiscriminate drunken regretful sex with strangers of whatever gender at every opportunity.
This um..."celibacy" and "restraint" and "making thoughtful adult sober decisions" about sex (or anything else) IS NOT THE DLISTED WAY!!!
Have you learned nothing from MK and your time spent on this site!?!? You all should be ASHAMED!
*bursts into tears and runs out of the room*
Submitted by TellysWorld on Wed, 01/25/2012 - 4:34pm.
This absolutely blows my mind. It's been 3 months for me and I am going fucking insane. I have been masturbating at least 3 times daily which just isn't the same. I recently got off birth control--totally not helping--and I'm picky as shit--also not helping--and the cheap asshole men who reside in my city are awful and so undeserving of a freak-in-the-sheets like me. They are also quite unattractive.
*sigh*
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Deep, emotional sex is always tops but casual sex can be good too, you just gotta be SURE that the guy is totally into you. If you can go out and the guy has his eyes on one else but you, that's a sleeper. But you also have to remain detached when you do the casual thing cuz there's a chance the first time will be the last time, maybe he was attracted to the chase, maybe you were a re-bound...who knows but you have to be totally ok with possibly never seeing that person again....
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
"I'm doin hoe activities, with hoe tendencies. Hoes are my friends, hoes are my enemies."
I do think having sex with just anyone is not the way to go. I have been in a relationship for 6.5 years. This is my first partner. I chose to wait until I was comfortable. I was 25!
I'm also not into casual sex. Its been 8 months and I have a feeling it will be a long time before I get it again.
The only person I want to have sex with doesn't talk to me anymore.
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Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
I would be glad to help, but I am the wrong gender.
But I LOVES me some Tim Gunn!
Submitted by gucci on Wed, 01/25/2012 - 7:35pm.
Well, good luck to ya. Hope it works out.
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"This is so over the top the director must be a Sherpa." -- Who Datt
Some of us who aren't into casual sex aren't wildly excited by watching the sexual exploitation of other people on film, either. Maybe because the poverty that pressures people into doing such things makes it impossible for there to be any truly free consent. Which is really rape-y and a total buzzkill.
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"This is so over the top the director must be a Sherpa." -- Who Datt
It's ok, Tim. Here's an answer. Just get neutered. Yup, just get all those sex organs shut-down and gutted out.
THEN you can feel so calm. Like a big eunuch cat (not to be confused with Unix cat).
It makes life so much simpler.
.
.
Whatever works for him, I guess. There's always pr0n.
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
@mig
That's exactly the way I feel about the guy I'm dating now. Hes everything I've ever wanted and I really want things to work out.
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"The world is a pretty nice place if you're happy"
John Garfield
No one lives forever
Up till recently I haven't minded it much, but there is a guy now I feel really drawn to in a deep emotional way, and I want him. Don't know if it will work out, but if I can't have him, I don't want anybody else.
I had only one relationship before, and it was that crazy white-hot kind of feeling, and once you get it that good, you won't settle for anything less. At least that's how it was for me.
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"This is so over the top the director must be a Sherpa." -- Who Datt
Nope not punking you at all mig. I to have not had sex in a very long time and to tell you the truth I don't know when I will have it again.
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"The world is a pretty nice place if you're happy"
John Garfield
No one lives forever
Gucci,
I didn't say ten years, I said more than ten years. I didn't specify how much more.
Assuming you're not just punking me, it's nice to know not everybody out there is obsessed with swapping their possibly infected bodily fluids.
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"This is so over the top the director must be a Sherpa." -- Who Datt
/migraineuse
I haven't had sex in, wait for it, 11 years! Ha ha beat yah!
________________
"The world is a pretty nice place if you're happy"
John Garfield
No one lives forever
Submitted by Andrei on Wed, 01/25/2012 - 4:44pm.
I cannot imagine being sexless that long. Though, that said... there are people I NEVER want to imagine having sex (pretty much everyone I see at WalMart)..
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You know what, though? Sex isn't just for stereotypically attractive people. And it's pretty tiresome to see this stupid idea reinforced endlessly through the media: "You'd better be hot, or you can expect to be forever alone!"
People YOU don't want to have sex with still have sex, and they're just as entitled to it as anyone.
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"This is so over the top the director must be a Sherpa." -- Who Datt
Well, since everyone's confessing, and because I don't give a fuck what anybody thinks of me: I haven't had sex in more than 10 years.
And before somebody even starts snickering and hinting around, it has nothing to do with my political views about gender oppression.
Sometimes you like somebody, but they don't like you, or they like you, but you don't like them, and you're not going to go out and catch genital warts off some random trick just so you can say that you had sex, and this situation happens to continue for years at a time. Shit happens, and it usually isn't voluntary.
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"This is so over the top the director must be a Sherpa." -- Who Datt
So in other words, he prefers to take his time and fuck himself.
"Tim Gunn closed up his downtown fuck shop (both locations) 29 years ago" - Huh? I don't understand?!?
Some people are sensitive, and take it so hard when someone shoots them down! :( But what a long time to do without! At least he's ok with it. For some, I find that if you get off sex for a while you kinda forget how things work, you know? Maybe some real sweet guy will read this and think "hey, hot man cooking over here!"
Had an uncle like that. He was like Tim, a real cool customer. True, "happiness is not a hard dick or a warm cooch." but they sure do help! :)
"The only money shot you'll get is a load of tears to the face." MK
I know Tim prefers the fellas but this lady would end his drought right now! No need to wait for the next presidential administration, Tim, you foine, sexy bitch!
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"When I come up, I rush, I rush for you..."
Is been year and a half since my last sex. I am in my early twenties so is kinda weird because everybody of my age is fucking like crazy... oh well, if Tim Gunn is celibate too it cant be so sad.
Submitted by zachhcaz on Wed, 01/25/2012 - 3:26pm.
Practice what you preach, Tim: MAKE IT WORK.
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Hahaha. Yes, you did!
Now we know the true author of Tim's catch phrase! I'm just imagining him in the bedroom with some guy whose shouting, "MAKE IT WORK, TIM!"
Did anybody do a "Make it work!" joke yet?
Sex is overrated. I haven't had it since long before The Banshe passed away in 2009 and don't anticipate having it any time soon. Like ponchiks and yucko said, the more time goes by, the less appealing it becomes.
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"And to the commentator who snarked that Boston can't be a drinking city because we don't have a legal happy hour - think again, chief. We work around that shit."
Also he said in his book that his ex broke up with him because he (the ex) wanted to fuck on someone else, not because there was no lead in his (Tim's) pencil.
Submitted by JewJewBean on Wed, 01/25/2012 - 2:56pm.
No wonder he is so cranky and bitchy.
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'Zackly!! He's a grouchy queen. Needs to get laid!!
Submitted by Uptown James on Wed, 01/25/2012 - 5:22pm.
At my last physical the doctor asked me if we needed to do any HIV or STD tests this year & I told him no....that I've been celibate for a while. He asked me if that was by choice! So after thinking a moment, I responded, "Yes, I guess you would say it is by choice. People choose not to have sex with me."
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...BAHAHAHAHA.....awwww.....
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...'She’s a really nice person and I have great respect for her as an actress — and I think most actresses are c*nts with a capital K' - Mickey Rourke...
At my last physical the doctor asked me if we needed to do any HIV or STD tests this year & I told him no....that I've been celibate for a while. He asked me if that was by choice! So after thinking a moment, I responded, "Yes, I guess you would say it is by choice. People choose not to have sex with me."
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"She's Black & I'm Gay--- we create culture."
OMG can I love this man any more???!!! I LOVE him for admitting this! Kudos Tim! I want a I HEART TIM GUNN t-shirt right now!!
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www.dungeonhordes.com
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...from madtv...Michael McDonald does a killer Tim Gunn...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHq3ToCXIy0
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...'She’s a really nice person and I have great respect for her as an actress — and I think most actresses are c*nts with a capital K' - Mickey Rourke...
Submitted by yucko on Wed, 01/25/2012 - 3:15pm.
I'm goin' on four years since my last relationship, (three?) years since I last had sex, and maybe a year or something since I was last groped. I still think about 'sexy things', but not really in a "I feel like personally doing that" kind of way. Lately thinking about myself actually doing it just seems unappealing.
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^^^^^^^^^^^ THIS!
It's not as long for me- coming up to 3 years. And the more time passes the less interested I become. It never grows old being called a freak by my friends though.
I didn't know there was DNA in my ass!
i think it's great that someone admits to this. not everyone has to be having sex, and he has a fulfilling career and his health and hopefully people that make him happy. that's what counts.
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack