Billy Ray Cyrus Has Never Been So Proud Before In His Life
TMZ took a break from posting the 32-page divorce documents filed by an extra who was on an episode of Entourage once (I'll post those next) and gave us what our eyes really crave: pictures of delicious dick cake! Unfortunately, this delicious dick has Miley Cyrus' face attached to it. But a BOO for us is always a YAY for Billy Ray (that rhymed and I'm not proud of it).
TMZ posted priceless picture after priceless picture of Miley Cyrus licking the taint under a herpes-ridden chocolate dick cake at the birthday party of her boyfriend Liam Hemsworth in L.A. on Saturday night. Either nothing makes Liam's mouth slobber like a giant black dick topped with an open herp sore or Liam got the cake to keep Miley occupied all night.
Yes, this makes me like Miley just a little, tiny bit, but I still can't believe how stupid everybody at this party was for bringing a big black dick cake out. You do not bring a black peen cake to a party in L.A. That's like feeding a mogwai after midnight. That's like giving my cousin alcohol at a party when you know very well she's going to ruin all the fun by drunk crying in the corner about how her life has become a tragic puddle of Emo-ness.
Do you know what happens when you bring a black peen cake to a party in L.A.? As soon as you're done nibbling the pube beads (or whatever that is) off of it, you will hear the soul-killing sound of the Four Whoresmen galloping toward the door. Khloe Kardashian will bust in with an E! camera crew and NOM NOM NOM every crumb of red velvet out of those chocolate nuts. Kim Kardashian will bust in and destroy that chocolate peen by hugging it with her fat ass flaps of doom. Kourtney Kardashian will bust in and kill the entire mood of the party by whining about how her sisters didn't leave anything for her. Finally, Pimp Mama Kris will bust in and force everybody at the party to sign contracts releasing their rights to any future profits of the cake smashing video they just shot. The only thing left would be a drool pool left by Khloe and a whole lot of empty stomachs hungry for delicious black peen cake.
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For cryin' out loud! Those photos are so old... That was at her 8th birthday party.
The cake is for HIM???
Ok I've heard that in the 70s, bored ladies trying to be "wild" and usually about as exciting as a 7th grade science film would buy a dick cake for a bridal shower. REAL classy decade. . . . BUT, to buy one NOW and for a guy??? Yikes. I would RUN from this guy FAST.
She actually makes Shitney look classy.
That bit taken out of the end of the "penis cake" looks like some kind of cancerous ulcer.
-gags-
"Look at meeeeeeee, y'all! I got a big ol' cock in front of mah mouth! Y'all are reeeeel shocked now! Cuz I was a little Disney moppet, and now I got a big ol' cock in front of mah giant mouth! It means I'm all edgy and grown-up and stuff! Cuz no Disney moppets turn into party animal whores!
... BIG OL' COOOOOOCCCCCKKK!"
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Why won't she go away already.
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
It looks like they modeled that cake after Maurice Gibb's autopsy where it was revealed he had a 1 cm venereal wart on his foreskin. The full report is on the Smoking Gun website.
Even the black cock cake has more reedeming qualities as her. So stupid.
How does she get a drink at 19? Am i assuming that she's drinking a virgin Long Island Ice Tea?
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
This derp-faced trick doesn't even know how to give a proper bj to a dick cake... Her hot b/f must be with her for her money since she has no other positive attributes.
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"When I come up, I rush, I rush for you..."
Those pics tell me that Miley likes taint!
Back in my 20's we had a bday party for a friend at a local bar. We had all gone in together and bought her this •HUGE• ass dildo. She was drinking drafts all night, and for the majority of the night that thing sat by her beer and draped over into the glass. Occasionally, I'd glance over and she'd be sitting there with her hand around it and licking the beer off the "head" of it.
I don't think anything about this pic is abnormal for the age group, except I'm still trying to figure out why she got the peen cake for her bf!!? Odd choice, but....
I really don't believe these pics were meant to get out to MSM, as someone else said she really needs to rethink her friends a little more. =p
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Mountain Dew is also the perfect butt douche to turn to when that stubborn gerbil refuses to fall out of your ass.-Michael K.
Depending on the angle, it looks like she is eating a black baby.
Be intrigued, be interested. DON'T be stupid.---TheBreakdown
I wonder how many times Trish Cyrus has looked down between her legs in the morning a saw something very comparable to the first thumbnail minus the distance. “Oh mahma yew chooked the opthsum medium rare juth the way I like it, now im goin stha eat yeeewww justh lhike that possim!!!” Those teeth look like they are going to spring from her face and run after people like in Beetlejuice. Her mouth is the definition of agape.
liam is a hottie with a body. get yer man girl! get him good.
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
Are you fucking kidding me with this?
It's a multi-layer cake of WRONG.
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This episode brought to you by the letter SHUTUP.
Of all of former Disney trainwrecks, she's actually the most endearing. I never thought I'd see Hanna Montana come in for gay marriage, but she did. It's nice to see someone with a healthy appreciation of peen.
"Revenge is sweet and not fattening"
-Alfred Hitchcock-
Submitted by Das ist ein Dreck on Wed, 01/25/2012 - 2:50pm.
A black peen cake for a white dudes birthday? Cannot compute.
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I agree. I'm confounded.
Meh? Show me the pictures where Dakota Fanning is doing this.
At least she doesn't try to be something she's not, a la Demi Lovato and her ilk.
Im getting a whore vibe from her.
A black peen cake for a white dudes birthday? Cannot compute.
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You got a lot of money, but you can't afford the freeway
that would be hot if it was anyone but the Hillbilly Chipmunk and there wasn't a ginormous std looking sore on that peen...now it is about as appealing as Jodie Marsh's monster titties of doom.
It would be more interesting if the cake were a vagina. That'd be more risque, Miley!
that cake needs some penicillin.
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I still don't see how ANY guy would want those chompers coming near their peen.
Good lord she is a mess... as are most teenagers. Just SO unsexy it's just sad when she tries to be.
Go Miley! You stay relevant now!
Submitted by jelliebean on Wed, 01/25/2012 - 1:53pm.
I think Lamar is calling her a pig
---I dunno...but saying that your wife "likes black". It's not a like a damn dog breed!
But then, we are talking about the Kardashians and their kin.
Hmmm.....that black dick is not representative of a true, real life black dick. It's much too small.
I didn't know there was DNA in my ass!
LOL at MK's tag "Get the Q-Tip". I was wondering yesterday where our "good slags" were and when they were going to provide us with a shit-talking/judgment-filled feast. Thanks Miley!!
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
"No woman should be deprived of peen....young, old, fat or skinny..there's someone out there who would fuck you." -Event Horiz
Wanting to be taken seriously as an adult now, hmm? Wiiiise career move.
Tex Perkins.
Google him you dumb fuck!
Something tells me she's seen the business-end of a big black penis before. It ain't exactly her debut at this sort of thing.
I thought you give a penis cake to a woman...
You are what you eat.
Miley doesn't realize in all this "I'm-big-girl-now" bullshit that her bread and butter fan base all have a one in the front spot of their age. Since she doesn't have any real talent she needs to milk the adolescent gravy train as far as she can.
Right now she is shitting where she eats.
What is she gonna give him for Valentines Day? a real life black cock? LMAO And he wil in turn give her a winking red velvet vajayjay cake? Anyway this guy's older brother Chris is the looker in the family. Miley's boyfriend is the ugly brother. The only thing that saves him is his Aussie accent and his height.
A penis cake *gasps*! I'm closing my eyes. Oh noooo Miley, you're so baaaad! Oh fuck this bitch.
I think Lamar is calling her a pig
She's the teenage version of that British whore who gets her small child plastic surgery vouchers for her birthday/Christmas, except instead of just an open mouf in every photo, that open mouf is hovering over or licking something.
Learn how to close your mouth, people! I don't want to know and smell everything your dentist does because you seem to think it's "hot"
Cuntmuffins. All of them.
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Raising the bar for lowering standards since 1982.
Mmm! Dick cake with a herp scab!
(Run Liam. Run very very far away.)
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 01/25/2012 - 12:54pm.
I've never seen a 'dirty' cake in real life. Are there bakeries that specialize in that kind of thing? I couldn't imagine the bakers at Walmart would whip up a dick cake for you.
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20 years ago, I went to the grocery store bakery to order a b-day cake for one of my kids.
We were looking through the sample book, and without any warning, right there in the middle of the usual designs of dinosaurs and princesses was a naked woman's body.
Nothing but huge boobs and poon parts. The arms, legs, and head were all cut off.
I had no idea Kroger was into the dirty cake biz. My kids weren't all that impressed with nekkid boob cake option either. :P
Submitted by annobanano on Wed, 01/25/2012 - 1:38pm.
@ Sandbitch "mmmm mmmm you like black men so much your mouth tastes like bacon".
WTF does this even mean?
---EXACTLY!! Does she use bacon fat as bait/lube or what? "mmmm mmmm I smell bacon, Khloe must be horny".
The thought of kissing someone who tastes of bacon is near making me gag, let alone a Kardashian.
Looks like she fixed the teeth in her cake hole.
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"The English are horrible and Oprah is a moron." 01/10/12 the refined Brit, clairey claire
Ugh, my Miley crush may be coming to an end soon. She looks so fug in these pics. She used to be cute, but in all the recent pics I've seen she looks gross. Maybe Kelly & Khloe's fug has been rubbing off on her, since they're like her 2 besties now.
I would expect nothing less from a trailer trash skank like Miley Cyrus.
Submitted by Oxygen on Wed, 01/25/2012 - 1:26pm.
You've got that right Sandbitch. I can attest to that shit. My son found some old pics of mine (in baggies for a reason)and screamed "MOMmmmmmmmmmm?!?!?! What is this?" It was a pic of my college girlfriends (3 chics 'playing' woodcarved musical instruments) standing behind me (front and center in pic) while I'm 'playing' a
*HUGE veiny tan dick flute*
A tan one no less!
*DIES*
That is a big ass Long Island Iced Tea.
I blame Gaycrest, for shoving the Kardassians down our throats, to birth out this culture of trash.
@ Sandbitch "mmmm mmmm you like black men so much your mouth tastes like bacon".
WTF does this even mean?
Submitted by TequilaTax on Wed, 01/25/2012 - 1:35pm.
What restaurant serves drinks in a container that big? If there is booze in it then she is def gonna be torn up before the night is over.
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If her name was Demi, she would be in rehab before the nights end.
Submitted by TequilaTax on Wed, 01/25/2012 - 1:35pm.
What restaurant serves drinks in a container that big? If there is booze in it then she is def gonna be torn up before the night is over.
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If her name was Demi, she would be in rehab before the nights end.
Pure class. (I've always wanted to say that.) Seriously, though, could we really expect anything less from the spawn of a man who wore a mullet unironically?