Two heaping cups of Shakira’s She-Wolf video
The root from Grace Jones’ iconic pussy stretch pose
1 clove of Lady Gaga’s anime eyes, minced
Half a slice of RiRi’s Umbrella video, cut into cubes
An entire box of Crayola pastel chalk, melted
A handful of nose cartilage, coarsely crushed
An entire bag of generic brand silicone (preferably a bag that is past its expiration date)
Directions: Throw all ingredients into one of Lil’ Kim’s old pink wigs, securely tie wig up with a garland of tarantula legs, throw it on the ground and pound with your ass until your jumping bowels are hitting your brain so much that you start to experience a slight epileptic seizure. Serve on a garden hoe with a Hilton-sized IQ. If a garden hoe with a Hilton-sized IQ is not available, serve on a brain dead rake. If a brain dead rake is not availabe, just serve on a Kardashian.