Open Post: Hosted By The Girl Who Got Bit By A Zebra

January 20, 2012 / Posted by:

If you were watching Today this morning, then I’m sure you saw this clip of some girl getting her shoulder nipped at by a zebra right before they interviewed the girl who got her shoulder nipped at by a zebra. YES, they actually interviewed her. They flew her out on Southwest (or whatever), put her up in an economy room at the Marriott (or wherever), comped her a breakfast at Dean & Deluca (or wherever), and then Matt, Al and Natalie talked to her for a good two minutes about this highly important news story. What is there to talk about for two minutes? The girl was teasing the zebra by eating some food right in front of its face and the zebra tried to get at it. That’s it. I just told the entire story in 2 seconds instead of 2 minutes. The zebra wasn’t mad because the girl fucked its man. The zebra wasn’t mad because the girl rolled her eyes at its child. The zebra was just hungry and it’s kind of a bitch. It’s as black and white as that zebra.

The thing is, Matt, Natalie and Al consider themselves well respected journalists and yet they only told one side of the story. Where’s the zebra’s story? I wish they would’ve brought that zebra on. Then it would’ve bit all their asses for wasting its time when it could be biting tourists for chips back at home.

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