Afternoon Crumbs

January 19, 2012 / Posted by:

STONED: Brad Pitt is, and I’m starting to think that “beard” around his face is actually silver haze marijuana – Just Jared

Maybe lady beater Michael Fassbender suffocates his bulge in jeggings – Lainey Gossip

Maybe lady beater Michael Fassbender makes his best “What me? A maybe lady beater?” pose in The Hollywood Reporter – Towleroad

Matt Damon’s bromance with Ben Affleck just got punched out by Thor’s mighty nipples – The Superficial

About three seconds in I got a quick tingle in the nips from thinking this was Macaulay Culkin in drag – (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

W Magazine’s annual “Actors with Freshly Fucked Hair” spread – The Berry

That explains the lipstick – Celebitchy

The bigger story here is that Avril Lavigne is getting way too old for this “using LUV instead of love” shit – ICYDK

And the top of Adriana Lima’s dress was covered in red lipstick marks (aka Xtina skid marks) by the end of the night – Popoholic

Jessica Simpson looks like an exploding Rorschach test – Popsugar

Another one eats the curb – OMG Blog

Juliet just kicked Rebecca Black into Saturday – The Daily What

Megan Fox is a master of disguise – Hollywood Tuna

No, no, no, it’s more like the Taj Mahal visits Oprah I’m Not Obsessed

Andre Leon Talley’s church shoes are taking me directly to the altar – Crunk + Disorderly

Somebody really should’ve told that Ferrari if that it rolled back it would’ve receive a thousand purple hearts – Hollywood Rag

Miley Cyrus is a stupid bitch, because lunch time lipo costs less than that – Celebslam

When crazy gets inked on crazy – Cityrag

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35 responses to “Afternoon Crumbs”

  1. kikichanelconspiracy says:

    “Submitted by tojo on Fri, 01/20/2012 – 3:01am.
    Submitted by kikichanelconspiracy on Thu, 01/19/2012 – 7:25pm.

    =================================
    lmao @your long post but I hate Lainey too! Not gonna click on any more of her links,,,

    Yeah, sorry for the novel. Believe it or not the first version was longer, D’Oh! Anyways, I hate Lainey. You know what pisses me off even more? She’s not the source of the original item, the NYDaily News was. They quoted a lot ‘sources’, but didn’t name names, but that slag wrote it up like it was her original work. *shakes head* That chick has zero integrity.
    ***************
    It hurts because you let your black heart beat for an asshole who can’t even send you a “P.S. I’m about to fuck a hole that doesn’t belong to you” text before fucking said hole that doesn’t belong to you.

  2. CandyPerfumeGirl says:

    Brad Pitt looks like a porn director circa 1972. Seriously he looks like shit. Angelina Jolie must have done a number on him sucking out his blood every night or whatever it is demented fucks like her do to men.
    ..

    .

    —–
    “Charlie you fucking bitch, let’s work it out” – High Fidelity

  3. rotten_egg says:

    I spy a nosejob on Old Fart Pitt. He should lay off the plastic surgery, it’s not like his career is in danger if he looks his age. He should thank his lucky stars every single day of his vapid existence; if it wasn’t for Hollywood’s rule of dumping old actresses out and leaving the old actors in, he would’ve been out of a job a while back. His average acting skills don’t matter much because his “pretty” face saved his ass since day 1. Not enough to save Jolie, tho. She’s a mediocre actress and her plastic face won’t keep her “IN” in the long run, even if her face is pulled tight behind her head. It happens to all the actresses with mediocre to average acting skills. If you don’t believe me, take a look at Demi Moore.

    It’s quite funny to see his face pulled tight and shinny in so many places, yet you see a few lonely wrinkles on his forehead to add a “natural” touch. It must be to fool some people into thinking he hasn’t gone under the knife if there is evidence of some wrinkles. He’s pretty much the male jolie. He even mimics her smug smirks too.

    **************
    -“I am not about to deal with unstable people” – HEART ANGELINA.

  4. sonah22 says:

    I spy a serious consideration for the casting of the Elizabeth Taylor in the W spread. Elizabeth Olsen looks like the perfect choice. And Michelle Williams needs to dye her hair red stat!————————————

    “How to give yourself a golden shower medal: lay down face up, find a way to piss up into the air and turn around really fast so the golden shower lands on your nalgas. -MK

  5. Bigbendy says:

    The jeggings are ill fitting on Assbender. I think he is a sick freak. ALT’s shoes are ridiculous just like him. Who the hell is Kelly Osbourn to criticize anyone with that awful gray hair. I think Jean Dujardin looks like an elder version of Jennifer Aniston’s boyfriend. George Clooney rocked the Caesar haircut better than a
    Antonio Banderas.

  6. Hotmami says:

    The lady that accused him of beating her dropped the charges a month after she filed them. She also accused a previous bf of abusing her. I believe a poster yesterday mentioned that he was in a different place when the beating was supposed to have taken place.

    Having said all that, if the rumors are true….

    *******************************************
    Time cast a spell on you but
    You won’t forget me
    I know I could have loved you but
    You would not let me
    -Fleetwood Mac

  7. Bigbendy says:

    Submitted by rotten_egg on Thu, 01/19/2012 – 4:16pm.
    I spy a nosejob on Old Fart Pitt. He should lay off the plastic surgery, it’s not like his career is in danger if he looks his age. He should thank his lucky stars every single day of his vapid existence; if it wasn’t for Hollywood’s rule of dumping old actresses out and leaving the old actors in, he would’ve been out of a job a while back. His average acting skills don’t matter much because his “pretty” face saved his ass since day 1. Not enough to save Jolie, tho. She’s a mediocre actress and her plastic face won’t keep her “IN” in the long run, even if her face is pulled tight behind her head. It happens to all the actresses with mediocre to average acting skills. If you don’t believe me, take a look at Demi Moore.

    It’s quite funny to see his face pulled tight and shinny in so many places, yet you see a few lonely wrinkles on his forehead to add a “natural” touch. It must be to fool some people into thinking he hasn’t gone under the knife if there is evidence of some wrinkles. He’s pretty much the male jolie. He even mimics her smug smirks too.
    Exactly,look at the eye bags under Christopher Plummer and Albert Brooks not to mention Gary Oldman’s face .

  8. Spaz de la Whoreta says:

    Submitted by sonah22 on Thu, 01/19/2012 – 4:22pm.

    I spy a serious consideration for the casting of the Elizabeth Taylor in the W spread. Elizabeth Olsen looks like the perfect choice. And Michelle Williams needs to dye her hair red stat!————————————
    —-
    I think that photo is a fluke. In other pictures, I can see her resemblance to her older sisters. http://www.imdb.com/media/rm2941814016/nm0647634

  9. Bigbendy says:

    Hotmami, Lainey said that Assbender and the ex girlfriend were spotted together recently. That seems odd behavior of both of them. Ass, because if he’s not guilty why would he want to be with someone accusing of such a horrible charge. Her because why be with someone who beat her.

  10. Hotmami says:

    Honestly, I’m not sure of either side. The only two who know for sure are the two of them, and it will probably stay that way.

    ********************************************
    Time cast a spell on you but
    You won’t forget me
    I know I could have loved you but
    You would not let me
    -Fleetwood Mac

  11. Bossy says:

    Money spent to lose weight is always money well spent.

  12. swarm-of-locusts says:

    I heard about Fassbender having hand control problems a few months ago. It’s common for abused women to drop charges and it’s common for pissed girlfriends to tell lies so I’ll wait to see how that all plays out. If he’s a hitter there’s more than one chick that has a story to tell. Brangelina are looking like serious dope fiends who have left the non-photo-op moments for the nannies to handle.

    **************************************************
    Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time.”
    — Haruki Murakami

  13. RichBitch says:

    This whole woman beater thing with Fassbender is just negative campaigning to fuck up his oscar nomination chances.

  14. force noir says:

    Def sends the sads to hear about AssBender’s alleged behavior.
    With that and those godawful fitting jeans–and sooo the wrong
    belt!–the hard on is dwindling. oh well.

    ALT’s shoes are some Belle de Jour-level greatness!!

    “I got your number, hussy.” –Ms. Dionne Warwick

  15. WithinReason... says:

    FASSbender, If the allegations are true, this woman should pursue the matter and NOT drop the charges. Otherwise, he drips sex — just not in those jeans. But 1/2 naked or naked, YES!

    UGH Chloe, NO. You are not edgy!

    Lima, Wow!

    “The only money shot you’ll get is a load of tears to the face.” MK

  16. Hekki says:

    Assbemder gives me the heebie jeebies.

    Adriana Lima’s body is sick. I’d kill to have that body.

  17. Jintess says:

    Brad Pitt v Johnny Depp

    Cleaned up and smelling nice I’m not quite sure who I would hit first (because I would hit both)

    I guess it depends who who can keep up with the whole ‘smells like he’s bathed within the last day’ rule of thumb

  18. kikichanelconspiracy says:

    “Submitted by Hotmami on Thu, 01/19/2012 – 4:34pm.
    The lady that accused him of beating her dropped the charges a month after she filed them. She also accused a previous bf of abusing her. I believe a poster yesterday mentioned that he was in a different place when the beating was supposed to have taken place.

    Having said all that, if the rumors are true….”

    That was me, Hotmami. I was wrong about him not being in the place at the time of the beating – sorry for the misinformation.

    Here’s the thing: the one thing that really makes me doubt her story is that she was seeking $20,000 in damages. I’ve worked in the criminal justice system in one capacity or another for the past 15 years. I’m now in the relatively cushy job of CJ analyst – the pay’s better and the hours are nowhere near as brutal.

    Anyway, in my long-ish career I’ve have seen some shit and I mean, some SHIT. I worked in the serious crimes unit of the State’s Attorney Office. We had a case where a guy tried to cut his wife’s face off. We had a case where a guy doused his wife with boiling water and shaved her head with a straight-edged razor, gouging her scalp in several places. She was near death from the burns, but luckily was found in time because a neighbor got suspicious. We had a guy who set his girlfriend’s truck and house on fire and she shot him (didn’t kill him).

    Then there were two molestation cases I worked (sadly, not the only two). The mothers accused either a boyfriend or a caretaker of molesting their child. The first case was dismissed because the crazy bitch had accused THREE boyfriends of doing it and each investigation failed to turn up a single shred of evidence of molestation. In the second, the caretaker was convicted and deported. Here’s the thing – to this day, I think the caretaker was also falsely accused and wrongly convicted. What to know why? Hot little blonde mommy just like formerly-hot-now-desperately-clinging-to-her-youth-mommy was seeking money. I think just like the other woman, she falsely accused someone because she was pissed about money. The only thing that differentiated the two was that she worked a better con. In all the domestic cases I worked on, those were the only two were the victim was seeking money. Justice was just gravy to them. So there’s that.

    I’m not saying this is 100% the case with this chick, but the money coupled with the previous false accusation is inspiring my best ORLY? face.

    However, even if he didn’t do it, he obviously attracted to crazy bitches which makes him just as mental, so it was fun while it lasted Assbender, but I’m onto other, more stable men.

    But that’s just me. 🙂

    Sorry for the novel folks.

    Also, fuck Lainey. I hate that bitch with the intensity of 10,000 fire breathing nuns. You know she was the peripheral bitch that always hangs around the Mean Girls in high school. Of course, she was too stupid or desperate to realize they were using her for her brain/car/hot older brother/sister/well-connected family. Slag.
    ***************
    It hurts because you let your black heart beat for an asshole who can’t even send you a “P.S. I’m about to fuck a hole that doesn’t belong to you” text before fucking said hole that doesn’t belong to you.

  19. rotten_egg says:

    -“Submitted by Bigbendy on Thu, 01/19/2012 – 4:36pm.”

    Yup. Actually, Pitt was looking close to his age a few months ago, with his jawline saggy and bloated face. Now his skin looks pulled tight and shinny. Not to mention his pockmarks are gone too. Both airheads are obsessed with plastic surgery.

    **************
    -“I am not about to deal with unstable people” – HEART ANGELINA.

  20. lovelylaney says:

    Fassbender gives me Michael Stipe vibe =\ Not sexy, in those pics anyway.

  21. lovelylaney says:

    2nd post (sorry)

    Chloe shots look like the work of sleazeball Terry R. Especially the trench coat one – she’s made up to look like him just about. Dig her shoes though in the s&m photo, which is really a good photo imho.

  22. SANS FARDS says:

    I have one thing to say to Brad:

    “Where’s the money, Lebowski?”

    _______________________________________________

    Never question Bruce Dickinson!

  23. tojo says:

    Submitted by kikichanelconspiracy on Thu, 01/19/2012 – 7:25pm.

    =================================
    lmao @your long post but I hate Lainey too! Not gonna click on any more of her links,,,

    ============================================
    …the end

  24. Mrs Patrick Campbell says:

    She is a greasy looking homosexual with both tinymeat and a ‘fugly ear’ like Lady Elton John also has.

  25. MadgesVadge says:

    Not sure if she’s gone public with this information already, but I predict a girl for Jessica Simpson.

    ———————————————–
    “I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things.” — Evil_Cupcake’s Mom

  26. FreakGeek says:

    Stoned Brad Pitt = hot Brad Pitt, Chloe will always be one hot, badass bitch, and I still want a taste of Miley’s taco, even if she acts like a ‘tard most of the time & hangs out with Sasquatch & Kelly Osbourne.

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