Hot SOPA-Related Slut Of The Day

January 18, 2012 / Posted by:

Susan, the Wikipedia face that has been asking me for a donation every single day except today! The first thing I do in the morning after I watch my dog shit directly against a lamppost (that’s his new fetish for some reason) and snort lines of whole coffee beans, I visit Wiki, wave at Susan’s ass and then double check all the celebrity birthdays for Birthday Sluts. I went to Wiki today even though I knew the doors would be locked, the lights would be off. Wiki, Reddit, Craigslist, Boing Boing, ONTD, Post Secrets, WordPress and hundreds of other sites are turning off the lights for 12 hours or more in protest of two proposed bills: SOPA and PIPA.

SOPA makes me think of the stew my abuelita would make on Sunday afternoon from all the leftovers of the week, but this SOPA tastes even more like shit (I know I’m going to get a chancelta to the fingers for that one). SOPA is short for the Stop Online Piracy Act and it’s a mess. SOPA’s intention is to shut down foreign websites that post pirated movies and music, but the way it’s written puts all of the Internet in a fucked up place. The way it works now is, let’s say I post a music video from YouTube. Let’s say the copyright holder of that music video doesn’t want it on YouTube. They contact YouTube, YouTube takes it down and the video becomes dead on my site. But if SOPA passes, the Justice Department will be able to force my server to shut me down no questions asked and with no kind of warning. YouTube too. Hell, even if I just link to that video or you link to it in the comments, Dlisted could be strangled and thrown into a dumpster behind an abandoned IHOP (Actually, I shouldn’t of typed that, because that sentence might help the bill). Some say it’s the big corporations’ way of controlling the entire Internet and censoring a bitch.

Let me try to put it in a way all of our slut whore asses can understand. So you’re humping on a piece in the privacy of your own home and all of his sudden his crazy girlfriend SOPA busts in. She pulls him out of you before you can even finish, slaps a chastity belt on your fuck part, swallows the key and then leaves forever. The ho didn’t even let you finish and now you can never finish, because she’s locked you out of your own vagina/b-hole/whatever.

In other words, if that fun-hating, censor-slapping cunt SOPA passes, you’ll have to do actual work at work. When SOPA passes, a million kitten video gets gassed. THINK OF THE KITTEN VIDEOS!

And I don’t even need to tell you about that bitch PIPA. We all know she’s bad news.

If you want to help, click here to educate your brain with more information. Then you can sign this petition and contact your local representative to tell them that you want to SAVE THE KITTEN VIDEOS!

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