"Keep Up, You Feeble Cripple. The Smell Of Virgin Blood Is Coming From Over Here."
As soon everybody on the red carpet at last night's GGs got over the shock of seeing Angie Jolie not wearing a laundry bag of a dress in the color of black grave dirt, their blood veins started shaking out of a fear since she had the look of hunger sparkling in her eyes as she dragged Pepaw Brad behind her. Never mind that Angie's dress made her look like a rolled napkin at a Valentine's Day party, I couldn't get past her terrifying vampire face. I know that Angie always looks like she's just been floating above the cobblestones in Transylvania in search of a village virgin to feast on, but last night I wore a garlic choker and a clip-on crucifix nipple ring, because she looked like she was trying to drain my blood with her eyes. Even Vincent Price was like, "Too far, Angie. Too far."
And this skinny ho really needs to do a dollop of Daisy on all the veins she's about to eat from. But before Angie ate all of the children from Modern Family in the parking garage of the Beverly Hilton, I hope she gave Brad a hug. He needed one after his brofriend, George Clooney, went from singing "I only have eyes for Brad" to singing "I only have eyes for Michael Fassbender's peen" while accepting his Best Actor trophy:
“I would like to thank Michael Fassbender for taking over the frontal nude responsibly that I had. Really Michael, honestly, you can play golf like this with your hands behind your back. Go for it man, do it!"
And just like that, Brad's heart crumbled the same way the ground behind George's Italian villa crumbled after he told his contractor to build a private golf course for Michael Assbender and him. Michael Fassbender's peen is the new Brad Pitt.
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What frontal nudity? Georgie boy's too precious to ever do frontal nudity (just like all the other blowhards in Hollywood, and that includes Pitt who could barely show half of his ass in Troy).
These Hollywood boys have nothing on the Brits (like Fiennes, McGregor, hell even Harry Potter, who do frontal like it's ain't no thang).
Uh-oh.... her butt pad is SO obvious in thumbnail #11! Oh dear... the Mighty Angie has flaws?? GASP
OMG that's an awesome title.
♥ Threadkilla!
"god bless, buy my single!"~Courtney Stodden
After award season...George Clooney's escort goes the way of the rest. Sorry wrestling girl. You may "love" him but your days are numbered.
not an Angeloonie but I did like her dress.
these two look so sickly.. angies padding isn't fooling anyone.. wish someone would put these two out to pasture.
Someone please remove the broomstick from this bitch's ass! She should feel honored (if not slightly puzzled) that she was even nominated and yet she comes to this award show sportin' the puss on her face as always. Does she really think she is so above the rest of Hollywood? WHY is she not smiling in ANY of these pics? Who pissed in her cheerios?
She's a twat.
As for the dress ... I can only say it's better than the typical black she wears but at the same time, she looked like a bore. We've seen that tight updo on her before -- FAIL.
Brad needs to cut that mop. Dude - you're like 50 ... you're not a surfer, you're not young, you're not hip... You look ridiculous. The "Legends of the Fall" moment has passed.
Glad George won. Talk about sticking a dick in Pitt's mouth.
She's not wearing padding around the hips, there is a built in corset in the dress. When you pull a corset tight enough it will suck you in a lot at the waist (where there are squishy organs) but cannot pull in your hip bones, hence the odd shape and hence why she looks so snooty and pissed off...probably in pain through lacing so tight to give her a waist.
Skankolina is beautiful but she looks like the biggest bitch cunt in the world. So smug all the time. I'm thrilled her movie lost and I'm thrilled George won. Brangelina may be purdy but George and Stacey look like a lot more fun to hang with. There's a video of Skankolina walking up some steps in that dress and her legs are as skinny as her arms. Whoever padded that dress did a great job.
I loved the GG. Clooney and Keibler looked great, Clooney won twice, ...and then you have the most overexposed couple in the world, Brangelina, two losers with all the smug evil queen face and a wrinkled cane called Pitt.
AngieJo's dress was hot. Too bad her body couldn't pull it off.
Someone feed her ass before the Oscars!
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Facebook: Triston Negreaux
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Wow, Angie has to wear a Padded bra now she is so skinny. She used to have the best pair of tits and thighs.
That Kiebler chick has wicked arms!!
Submitted by Satans Panties on Mon, 01/16/2012 - 2:52pm.
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Satans Panties
I am convinced now that you are an ALT one that hates Brangelina and you try to make their fans look even worse then they are allready made out on here.
Angelina looked once again stunning in that dress, and I love her pose she looks so gracious....so many lucky dress choices, I hope she keeps the stylist.
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Submitted by Vern on Thu, 12/01/2011 - 10:52pm.
Wow Allesssssaaaandro McGosling.
Brad and Angie bore me almost as much as Clooney and Stacy but at least they look healthier.
Brad and Skelewhore are so over. And I'm tired of George's smooth-aging-playboy-dating-much-younger-women act. He looks crusty and old next to these 30-something tricks.
FUCK, Angelina looks MEGA pissed off! She isn't even trying to feign happiness. Smug, sulky bitch. No doubt she thinks she is too good to be at the GG'S. She is a VIP godammit, all others are mere peasants. Fake, narcissistic, unhinged fruitcake. Always was always will be.
Satans Panties.....um, ok.
Everyone here knows I love thinner lean bodies, but Angie's is sickly thin. She needs 15 lbs back desperately.
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Always one more, you're never satisfied
Never one for all with you, it's only one for me
So, why draw the line? Meet you half the way
When you don't know what that means
Submitted by little_rascal on Mon, 01/16/2012 - 7:08pm.
Submitted by James Haven on Mon, 01/16/2012 - 5:47pm.
Welcome back, James Haven!
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Oh. My. Gosh. James Haven is back!!!!! We sure missed you.
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"This is what we call the floating world . . .” (Ryoi, c.1661)
" . . . the world needs to be shut down. I mean it this time. SHUT IT DOWN". (MK, c.2009)
I was talking about Angelina's dress.
I actually heard this dress descibed as a combo of red velvet cake meets, Jane Jetson with a throwback to old Hollywood!
I do hope she dresses as malificent for the oscars.
Submitted by James Haven on Mon, 01/16/2012 - 5:47pm.
Welcome back, James Haven!
You know what I find interesting?
How most of the people in the background in those photos are staring at Angie in every shot, and hardly anyone is staring at Brad....
b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b~j~b
"I'm doin hoe activities, with hoe tendencies. Hoes are my friends, hoes are my enemies."
So she is wearing padding? Is that why her hips look so odd? She looks pretty but she is scary skinny, her arms are gross.
Submitted by beakers bitch on Mon, 01/16/2012 - 5:52pm.
right back atcha beakers!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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CAST IRON BITCH: thumbnail 7. I hate this cunt so much, but her ideal role (after seeing these pictures) is Elisabeth Bathory, the cuntess (typo and it stays) who drank young virgin girls' blood to stay alive in (I believe) the 1500s.
Oh, but now that she's A DIRECTAH, I'm sure she'd never lower herself to play a role in someone else's picture ever again.
That being said, thank you Golden Globes for not voting either of these fuckers a goddamned thing.
Boston Bruins-- Stanley Cup Champs 2011
I don't think George is gay. One of his lovers would have sold that story by now. I do think he most definitely does not want to get married. He does not want to spend the remainder of his life going to little league games and ballet recitals. I'll bet his parents had a less than perfect marriage. He may be a secret smoker like Brad because they both look like crap for their age. Angelina is tiny in real life but she seems so much bigger than all the other woman. She is very charismatic.
check out the padding on her hips! what the EFF? and christ brad looks like an f'ing simpleton. like he might start drooling on himself.
Submitted by James Haven on Mon, 01/16/2012 - 5:47pm.
I love you.
James Haven is here to tell all you crazy bitches the behind the scenes goings on of the night! First up: Brad and Angie:
They had a God awful fight just minutes before leaving for the event! Angie loathes George Clooney and is jealous of their bromance! She warned Brad if he so much as glanced towards Clooney she would "Rip every strand of greasy hair off your head!" James Haven tried to shuffle the kids out of the room before it got worse but there was just too many of them so James Haven decided to just sit back with a bag of popcorn and watch the fur fly!
Angie then took Brad's cane and proceeded to whack him in the back of his legs! Ouch! poor Brad. Even James Haven cringed when Brad went to his knees after the first blow. Angie wouldn't stop! She told Brad since she was a serious actress and once portrayed a lawman she knew exactly how to beat someone up without leaving a mark! And with that she landed a swift karate chop to the back of Brad's neck and he was down for the count! James Haven begged Brad to play dead but he once again tried to get back up. Unfortunately Mad came out of nowhere, and kicked Brad in the Pitt! Brad laid there for what seemed an eternity or at least until the Limo arrived and off they went. BTW bitches James Haven warned Angie to wear her hair down and for pity's sake cover those boney arms!
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See James Haven in an Oscar winning performance!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2w9cKFiCrSU
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"Doc, I don't want to fly anymore"
James
Although theyare 1% they understand 99%,
to get rid of white f'n privilege
Aint easy to do but must be done
U are missed
"Doc, I don't want to fly anymore"
Good writing but no real dirt
"Doc, I don't want to fly anymore"
Good writing but no real dirt
"Doc, I don't want to fly anymore"
Getting a refill of vino and air befor enjoy this post
Whipped Pitt. Can he even take a leak without her permission?
How come no one says Angelina is anorexic? Her arms are mere toothpicks. Her dress weighs more than she does.
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www.dungeonhordes.com
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brad needs that cane because his anorexia makes it hard to walk, right?
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Only love can break your heart
Um, since when has the Cloon had the responsibility of the carrying the peen torch? Try NEVER! His hot piece is making him look ancient these days. The end must be near... Gonna have to check out that movie Shame. I've liked the FassDONG, ever since Hex!
MK, that caption was perfection, and not gonna lie, the "clip-on crucifix nipple ring" got me a little excited.
"The only money shot you'll get is a load of tears to the face." MK
Submitted by I AM Afraid on Mon, 01/16/2012 - 4:10pm.
I was in the grocery store today and (as usual) the only people reaching for the cheap tabloids with pics of the Jolie were 200-lb heifers with saliva drooling from their slack jaws and a gleam in their vacant eyes, putting down good money on News of the World and other shit that blames all the evils of the world on Angie. It makes me happy to see these creatures in person that actually believe what they read in The Enquirer etc. Pay attention the next time you are stuck in line at the cashiers. Look at what the haters look like.
The superfantards who reach for kiss assy People magazine are even fatter and ooglier.
Wow, I didn't notice that until you pointed it out. She's not even tall. Despite her '5'8' claims, a few of my friends spotted her when she was filming 'Salt' and all three of them said they were surprised by how short she was. They all pegged her between 5'4 and 5'5 (more average than short, but I think they thought she was tall).
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I know! They ALL lie about their height. Nearly all of them are so tiny when you see them for real.
I was in the grocery store today and (as usual) the only people reaching for the cheap tabloids with pics of the Jolie were 200-lb heifers with saliva drooling from their slack jaws and a gleam in their vacant eyes, putting down good money on News of the World and other shit that blames all the evils of the world on Angie. It makes me happy to see these creatures in person that actually believe what they read in The Enquirer etc. Pay attention the next time you are stuck in line at the cashiers. Look at what the haters look like.
MK, you've outdone yourself, I'm still laughing
"I noticed that Brad has fucking two inch heels on and he is only slightly taller than her."
Wow, I didn't notice that until you pointed it out. She's not even tall. Despite her '5'8' claims, a few of my friends spotted her when she was filming 'Salt' and all three of them said they were surprised by how short she was. They all pegged her between 5'4 and 5'5 (more average than short, but I think they thought she was tall).
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It hurts because you let your black heart beat for an asshole who can't even send you a "P.S. I'm about to fuck a hole that doesn't belong to you" text before fucking said hole that doesn't belong to you.
Submitted by Satans Panties on Mon, 01/16/2012 - 2:52pm.
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Hilarious comedy writing. It WAS a joke post, right?
So the Brangies walked out "empty handed?"
I switched over to Family Guy. The jokes were much better now that they snipped Ricky's joke balls.
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Are any of these fucking guys in Hollywood over 6' tall for Christsake? I noticed that Brad has fucking two inch heels on and he is only slightly taller than her. What the fuck - is that a fucking unwritten law in Hollywood - no actors over 5'10" need apply! Geezus h----!
why is everybody talking about Angie's dress when the topic of this conversation should be Clooney practically outing his love for peen to the world.
Angie looks good here. Not gonna hate, although maybe it's just coz my eyes are all misty from the mention of FRom Dusk Till Dawn era George Clooney
and Micheal Fassbenders peen together in the same thread
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"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks
Love. Love. Love. The dress? Perfection. Her hair? Perfection. She's always gorgeous but last night she really nailed it. And did you see that ass? Again ... perfection! And NO, I don't buy for a second that she was padded! HA HA HA!!!! As IF! She is thin (name me one that isn't!) but she's in great shape, no strange muscley arms, (oh, hi Madonna). And I always love the way Brad looks at her. It's great that they still have that chemistry after all those kids. And he is looking hotter than ever. I love the long hair. Don't mind the cane at all.
"Doc, I don't want to fly anymore"
She makes me think of a French painting of Liberty just needs the blue sash.bThey should put her on a coin. I think one of the Rosselinis is on French coin
I actually believe they are authentic ppl. Trying every day