Hot Slut Of The Day!

The Beer Loving Cat! And there you were thinking that pussy and yeast don't mix well together. If yeast infections looked like this, we'd all want one.

Tonight is the Second Annual Ricky Gervais Pats Himself On His Hardcore Edgy Gene While ROASTING Hollywood Ceremony and about three seconds into that shit, most of us will look like that cat above. We'll be making hug love to a lukewarm can of the sweet nectar and licking on it like it's the only thing in the world that has ever done us right (SPOILER ALERT: It is!). But unlike Beer Cat, my can of the sweet nectar won't be Miller Lite. I mean, if I want to lick on something that tastes like ass, I'll lick on an actual ass.

via Buzzfeed

Posted by: Michael K

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Hot Slut of the Day

Submitted by like-wow on Mon, 01/16/2012 - 9:26am.

I smell a fraud. You can do that to any can by putting tuna juice on the can and the cat will lick lick there's no tommorow. That's an old college gag. NEXT!

Submitted by meowsers on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 8:41pm.

My cats love beer as well (although it would have to be imported, they're beer snobs just like me). We can't leave beer in an open container unattended without someone helping themselves. I'm pretty sure it's the malt that draws them in. If they manage to get any before being caught, it's very little and they're chased away very quickly. The humans in this household do NOT like to share their beer. :o)

Submitted by bookworm on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 4:54pm.

FUCK, I HATE human beings. I cannot even watch this fucked up video. BUT, if they are actually giving that cat alcohol than I hope they rot in hell. Better yet I hope the RSPCA find out who they are and get the cat off them. Utter, utter bastards.

These are the types of c*nts that think giving kids (toddlers) alcohol is a hoot too. Fucktards.

Submitted by MaxiePad on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 4:02pm.

That's what I call abusing a pussy.

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I was entirely unaware of how sucky it would get.

- Gautama.

Submitted by justincase on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 3:37pm.

Speaking of Ricky Gervais (MK!!!!) I found out last summer, during history prepping that he is my cousin through his French Canadian father. Lol and I'm sure he could give a damn.

Submitted by Francine-Fishpaw on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 3:29pm.

Well, sock me sideways, angel_i. I can't believe that people don't think she's pimping her children out!

Submitted by letinstar on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 2:33pm.

This is pussy abuse...get that kitty some Monistat...

___________________________________________
"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr

Submitted by Whatever on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 2:32pm.

What a bunch of inbred hicks. Giving a cat beer. Stoopid.

Submitted by Stoney on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 2:23pm.

My ex's cat used to eat Doritos. True story.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."

Submitted by BaconSlut on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 2:03pm.

LOL

My cat, also, is a beer hore. If you leave a glass of Leinie's unattended, he will find it and help himself. This has happened twice. For the past six years or so, I only pop a beer when I am out on the deck and he is shooting death glares at me through the patio window. This has another layer of suckdom to it being that it is summer in these parts for all of two months within any given year.
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"Uh, hello, room service? I'd like some bacon, a couple of Cokes, and a bunch of whores." -Butthead, of Beavis and Butthead

Submitted by sonne on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 1:50pm.

My cat likes anything and anyone who smells of nicotine. He also sticks his head in my stinky ex's armpit (gross!) and I caught him licking my babysitter's scarf one day (yes, I smelled it and it smelled cigarette-y). I was mean, too, since I let the cat lick it longer than I should have while I laughed. Evil me! He's the second or third cat I've known that likes nicotine. Never knew a beer cat.

Submitted by Deb on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 1:31pm.

Submitted by BoredSlore on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 2:53pm.

Absolutely not! That would be disrespectful!

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by Sweetas on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 1:29pm.

My cat loves to lick the sweat off of cans, glasses, anything. Maybe they should have a play date.

I went to Lajitas TX 20 years ago and the mayor was a drunk goat named Clay Henry. People would give him bottled beer and he'd put his mouth over the neck, turn it up and shotgun it. They kept him in a cage to keep the buzzards off of his passed out ass. True story.

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/2227

Submitted by BoredSlore on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 1:23pm.

Submitted by Deb on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 2:48pm.

My grandma-in-law and mother-in-law enjoy their vodka. Might as well, right?
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It would be an insult not to Deb. And you NEVER insult your elders.....

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When somebody brands you as a cunt, you thank them since that's better than getting knighted by the queen herself.~MK 8/15/11

Submitted by Deb on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 1:18pm.

Submitted by BoredSlore on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 2:44pm.

Wow! Well you have 2 very good respites, especially "B".
My grandma-in-law and mother-in-law enjoy their vodka. Might as well, right?

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by Dion flowerboy on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 1:17pm.

Meh. I'll watch that award shitshow when MK hosts one with his boo, Anderson.

Submitted by BoredSlore on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 1:14pm.

Submitted by Deb on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 2:38pm.

LOL! Now I'm jealous! At least you and drunky cat will make the best of it. Plus, you'll be in warm Florida instead of someplace cold!
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Wanna know what my week is going to look like? I will be living in a retirement park FILLED with old people on golf carts. My mom said it is getting colder, not warmer. She has appointments she needs someone to drive her to and I will be playing cards with 2 blind people on a nightly basis. The ONLY 2 respites I have are:

A. Busch Gardens on Tuesday and
B. My grandmother does Happy Hour DAILY!!! (WHOOTWHOOT)

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When somebody brands you as a cunt, you thank them since that's better than getting knighted by the queen herself.~MK 8/15/11

Submitted by Deb on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 1:08pm.

Submitted by BoredSlore on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 2:35pm.

LOL! Now I'm jealous! At least you and drunky cat will make the best of it. Plus, you'll be in warm Florida instead of someplace cold!

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by BoredSlore on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 1:05pm.

Submitted by Deb on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 11:38am.

I was just afraid the kitty would cut his tongue on the can opening....

Yeah, well you can all be jealous of me. Tonight, I'll be playing a card game called Skip-Bo with my mother in law and 94 year old grandmother in law. God help me.
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Wanna trade? I have a rousing game of Hand and Foot with my LEGALLY BLIND 65 year old mother AND my BLIND 89 year old grandmother coming up during my vacation to Florida.

No Disney World. No Sea World. But NO BODY fucks with my Busch Gardens.

I'll take beer drinking cat and have a day!

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When somebody brands you as a cunt, you thank them since that's better than getting knighted by the queen herself.~MK 8/15/11

Submitted by bitchSpray on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 12:52pm.

my cat will eat and drink probably anything in the world (including vegetables, fruit and sweets)...

it's not because she likes it, she just wants to show me she CAN

Submitted by Deb on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 11:01am.

Thanks Evil. Yeah, I'm getting time off in purgatory for sure! ;)

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by VitaminF on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 10:57am.

Last night I was having a 'Sour Apple Pucker' while watching TV, when my cat climbed me and started to sniff the vodka in the glass. I was curious and offered him just a little bit on my palm, he instantly devoured it!! I gave him a couple of tsp and he was totally into it and enjoying. I was afraid cat and alcohol probably don't mix well and stopped and he won't leave me alone!
Should have made a video, may be next time..

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 10:56am.

Submitted by Deb on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 11:38am.
I was just afraid the kitty would cut his tongue on the can opening....

Yeah, well you can all be jealous of me. Tonight, I'll be playing a card game called Skip-Bo with my mother in law and 94 year old grandmother in law. God help me.
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Aww, that is nice of you!

One of the few days I got out of my death bed during the holidays, I went to a tea party for a bride and groom (she was 71, he 87), where my mom and myself were the ONLY people under 70.

Submitted by Francine-Fishpaw on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 10:43am.

That candida albicans cat needs her own fermented barley drunk blog.

If you want to go cheaper than Miller Lite (yes, it's possible), just throw some sugar, water and yeast in a jug, put a party balloon with some pin-holes in it over the lip of the jug and in five days you have some trailer trash hooch.

Sure, your head will explode in the morning, you will puke technicolor rainbows and shit oompa loompa diarrhea from hell, but, you can proudly say you saved a couple bucks for the experience.

Submitted by Deb on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 10:42am.

@guest - thanks for the prayers! I actually loved my other grandma-in-law who died over 6 years ago. I used to love to sit and talk with her. She was the daughter of a Croatian woman who sailed to the US on her own at age 14. Even on her deathbed, Mary would say, "Hello, babe! How are you?" I really miss her.

This other grandma couldn't be more different. We get along, but she is uber self-involved. She interrupts, rarely shuts up, and is bossy as hell.

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by guest on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 10:24am.

Yes Deb...JELLII! Of the grandma part especially cuz I lurved my g'ma. She was fiesty as hell. ;)

Edit...did not read in-law!!! *does the tebow for you* lol.

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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.

Submitted by Deb on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 10:18am.

Submitted by guest on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 11:41am.

Lol Deb!
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You ARE jealous, aren't you, guest? ;)

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by guest on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 10:11am.

Lol Deb!

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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.

Submitted by Tinam on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 10:10am.

White. Trash.

One of the definitions of "not end well" in the dictionary of truth is: "crackhead leading a crackhead to Mexico..." MK--8/20/11

Submitted by guest on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 10:10am.

What Fishy said.

That kitteh is phat.

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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.

Submitted by Deb on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 10:08am.

I was just afraid the kitty would cut his tongue on the can opening....

Yeah, well you can all be jealous of me. Tonight, I'll be playing a card game called Skip-Bo with my mother in law and 94 year old grandmother in law. God help me.

"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson

Submitted by TimC on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 9:53am.

Elephants love beer too. They kill for it in India when they stomp thru jungle villages looking for their beer stashes.

Why is letting a cat have beer such a bad thing, but catnip is OK. Are the animal welfare people opposed to catnip too?

Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 9:45am.

I find nothing amusing in animals drinking beer or getting pot smoke blown in their faces.

Sorry, I am an uncool, stick in the mud, but what can I say.

Submitted by Vern on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 9:28am.

This explains Lilo's many chances-she's a cat!

*chanting as always*
"I feel the burn it must be Vern" PERKY 2011

Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 9:26am.

Submitted by LaChaylo on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 10:46am.
Drunk blog..drunk blog...drunk blog...

The power of the sweet nectar compels you!!!

EDIT: My uncle had a chihuahua who loved beer. I'd be afraid that shit would fuck with their stomach though.
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My friend's dog will knock your beer over if you aren't looking so she can drink it. If you're sitting there holding it she either sits and begs for it or just sticks her face in it.

______________________________________________
McGill Class of '97

*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-

Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 9:25am.

Submitted by mike on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 10:54am.
It's funnier when babies do it.

I keed, I keed!

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Be careful or they'll put you on the naughty list with sucky.
______________________________________________
McGill Class of '97

*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-

Submitted by mike on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 9:24am.

It's funnier when babies do it.

I keed, I keed!

Submitted by kikichanelconspiracy on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 9:23am.

"Second Annual Ricky Gervais Pats Himself On His Hardcore Edgy Gene"

OMG, I love you, MK. I feel like I'm the only one who rolls her eyes at Ricky Gervais 'genius'. He's mildly amusing at best and his shrill, girlish laugh invokes a case of the rages in me.
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It hurts because you let your black heart beat for an asshole who can't even send you a "P.S. I'm about to fuck a hole that doesn't belong to you" text before fucking said hole that doesn't belong to you.