Lock Up Your Female Disney Teen Stars
Wilmer Valderrama's got his eye on you, Chris Hansen.
The exit door to Mickey Mouse's rehab center for the teen stars he helped to screw up now has a regular fixture named Wilmer Valderrama in front of it. Wilmer is available for any damaged barely legal teen star who needs a 31-year-old nutsack to cry on ("...and while you're there" - Wilmer). Because E! News says that after humping on each other for about a year, 19-year-old Demi Lovato has taken her final ride on Wilmer's self-proclaimed XXL chalupa dick. Demi might've confirmed this highly important breaking news on Twitter when she turned into the Emo of Anistons by re-Tweeting a Marilyn Monroe quote before Tweeting a few words of encouragement for herself:
"A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesn't believe, and leaves before she is left." Marilyn Monroe
The smartest thing a woman can ever learn, is to never need a man.
In other words, bitch got too old for Fez.
(Image via Pacific Coast News)