Khloe Is Not A Kardashian, So Says Robert Kardashian’s Widow And Ex-Wife

January 11, 2012 / Posted by:

Asking “Which Kuntrashian can you stomach the most?” is just like asking “Would you rather eat hyena diarrhea, armpit cheese or Ke$ha?“, but most hos would probably say that they can take Khloe Kuntrashian (she’s armpit cheese, by the way) the most. So because of this, many believe that Khloe does not have Kardashian blood running through her veins. Pimp Mama Kris has denied this a million times over, but Robert Kardashian’s ex-wife and widow claim that he told them he was NOT the father. I don’t know if I should be happy or sad that Maury’s team is trying to get DNA swabs from Chewbacca, Ludo from Labyrinth, Chyna and Andre the Giant’s corpse for a very special Kardashian episode for sweeps.

Jan Ashley married Robert Kardashian right after his marriage to Pimp Mama Kris shriveled into nothingness, and she tells Star Magazine that he confessed to her that he knew he wasn’t Khloe’s biological father.

“Khloe is not his kid — he told me that after we got married. He just kind of looked at me and said [it] like it was a matter of fact. He said, ‘Well, you know that Khloe’s not really a Kardashian, don’t you?’ And I said…’OK,’ and that was it.”

Robert’s widow, Ellen Kardashian, backs up Jan’s ESCANDALOSO words. According to Ellen, Robert told her that he wasn’t even dipping into Pimp Mama Kris’ kunt maker at the time Khloe was conceived. Pimp Mama Kris even admitted in her book that she screwed around with a side piece named Ryan around the time Khloe was made. Jan lays it out like this:

“Khloe brought it up all the time. She looked nothing like the rest. She was tall, had a different shape, light hair, curly hair. Didn’t look anything like the other three children. Robert did question the fact that Khloe was his. Any normal man would if they knew their wife had cheated on him. [But] he never would have considered a DNA test. He loved her very much.”

DISCLAIMER: Ellen Kardashian filed for Chapter 7 in 2010 and lost her home to foreclosure this past October. So if you want to, you can file all of this under: Taking A Page From Pimp Mama Kris’ Handbook On Shamelessly Whoring For Some Quick Coin.

It really doesn’t matter at this point if Robert isn’t Khloe’s biological father or if she’s the product of Pimp Mama Kris’ wild night at a sex party in Narnia. The damage has already been done. The Karkrashian trifecta is complete and there’s no going back. Besides, Robert Kardashian isn’t Kim, Kourtney or Khloe’s father anymore. After they drained the blood from their bodies and replaced their veins with water from the river of wailing, they became Lucifer’s daughters! And by Lucifer I mean Ryan Seacrest.

And here’s some pictures from last week of Khloe and Kim confusing the animals at the Dallas World Aquarium, because those two should be the ones in a cage.

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116 responses to “Khloe Is Not A Kardashian, So Says Robert Kardashian’s Widow And Ex-Wife”

  1. grommet says:

    I agree with MK on her being the best of the worst.

  2. MissJaneTexas says:

    And who says shit like this ‘Well, you know that Khloe’s not really a Kardashian, don’t you?’ I still know it’s true but back then Kardashian was a known name but not a brand…I think this c u next tuesday is trying to get her 15 mins.

    **************************************************************
    You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. – MK 8/3/2011

  3. daisy100 says:

    I always forget it’s not Bruce Kardashian. I wonder how Robert would handle how his name has been trashed if he were alive. Oh never mind, he did that himself by getting OJ off.

  4. kndall44 says:

    Crack. Crack. Crack. As the Kardashian empire takes another hit.
    Soon to crumble away into a joke of history…

    Also Kris wanted one non-swarthy kid in the mix. As all her Beverly Hills friends had blond kids..

  5. Ophelias evil twin says:

    looks like a really in depth convo Kim is having with that sloth. Slut meet sloth.

    Khloe is the only one that has some sort of a personality and I don’t really mind her except for when she does that baby voice. “ooo La-a-ammy”. so gross.

  6. jack-n-the-hat says:

    What a fucking bitch… you don’t have to be the sperm donor to be a Dad. This big bitch has been through enough… leave her alone.
    _____________________________________________
    “The English are horrible and Oprah is a moron.” 01/10/12 the refined Brit, clairey claire

  7. jerseygirl17 says:

    I’m not a Kardashian fan at all, but maybe there is still hope for Khloe. Maybe she can find her real daddy and some half-siblings who aren’t devilspawn and live out a normal, low-key life with her hubby.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! — SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate

  8. louise_brooks says:

    No one is asking the important questions here: Why does an aquarium have a sloth and some kind of big cat???

  9. RichBitch says:

    The Kunts (I refuse to type more of their name) really have a crack team of writers plotting out this soap opera don’t they. A new *shocking* twist every few weeks! Drama! Backstabbing! Betrayal! The only thing stopping it being Dynasty is ahem “class”.

  10. babybunny says:

    This makes me hate Pimp Mamma Kris even more, if PMK was my mother I would disown myself, a slut trying to raise sluts, I don’t hate Khloe, she is tolerable, but loathe PMK she really just needs to die already…and take her skank prize pig with her

  11. OurMissC says:

    “And by Lucifer I mean Ryan Seacrest.”

    AIN’T THAT THE TRUTH!

    OURMISSCunt – per the inimitable suckandfuck, 12-23-11.

  12. The Machine says:

    As much as I hate these bitches, I gotta admit Khloe wouldn’t be that bad or teased as much if she didn’t TRY to be sexy.
    I’ll hi5 a fellow tall chick all day long, but when they try too damn hard, I gotta throw them shade.

    _________________________________________________
    Raising the bar for lowering standards since 1982.

  13. MissJaneTexas says:

    Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Wed, 01/11/2012 – 9:29am.

    *swooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooon* đŸ˜‰

    **************************************************************
    You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. – MK 8/3/2011

  14. ditquoi says:

    whoa whoa whoa now they’re admitting it?!!?!

    PMK must have imploded if she allowed anyone to go on public record with this…unless, of course, she thinks it’ll stir controversy and keep them in the news?

    this must be their ace in the hole, the LAST resort before their famewhore train officially derails.

    desperate punk bitches. HA HA HA HA HA

  15. sillykat says:

    You know Kim is looking at the big cat and thinking “That would make a nice coat” and Khloe is thinking “SNACK TIME!”

    Khloe is def the best of the kunts.

  16. Mrs. Voorhees says:

    I’m wetting myself over the “sex party in Narnia” bit. Too, too funny.

  17. snowpiece says:

    thumb 10 Kim is thinking, that would make a gorgeous coat!

    ***************************
    “That’s what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you’re down.” MK
    “I’m from the New Jersey where we say “AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!” ” Sucky

  18. guest says:

    There was an early episode where Khloe took a DNA test for this very reason & the results @ that time were positive that she was a Kardashian or maybe they were just compatible with Kris.

    ****************

    Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 – 9:32am.
    It’s ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don’t yell git ‘er done because we all hate that.

  19. babybunny says:

    ROL is reporting that Bruce has a penchant for wearing dresses, which is not surprising to me….PMK would try to primp him too if she could make money off of it…why can’t this skank family just disappear…

  20. snowpiece says:

    sillykat JINX!

    ***************************
    “That’s what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you’re down.” MK
    “I’m from the New Jersey where we say “AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!” ” Sucky

  21. LoCoJo says:

    Submitted by louise_brooks on Wed, 01/11/2012 – 9:29am.
    No one is asking the important questions here: Why does an aquarium have a sloth and some kind of big cat???
    ****************************************************

    I think the reason there’s a sloth and a cat is because the aquarium is supposed to have a rain forest feel to it. They also have monkeys, bats, snakes, spiders. It’s really like an indoor mini zoo. Pretty cool, actually, even if now it has Kardashian stank all over it.

  22. snowpiece says:

    guest I remember reading that here but it was just with PMK

    ***************************
    “That’s what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you’re down.” MK
    “I’m from the New Jersey where we say “AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!” ” Sucky

  23. Ophelias evil twin says:

    ::waits for MK to post the ex Mrs. Jenner story about Brucie liking to cross dress::

    And get ready for more juicy tidbits once the gag order is off the Derp.

  24. snowpiece says:

    check out Khloe’s Kameltoe in the first thumb

    ***************************
    “That’s what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you’re down.” MK
    “I’m from the New Jersey where we say “AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!” ” Sucky

  25. PrettyHateMachine says:

    Duh. Even Stevie Wonder could see that.

    And I always wondered if PMK was humping on Bruce Jenner while she was married to Robert Kardashian? Because Khloe looks a lot like their younger daughters and they are both tall like her..exept they seem to have a touch of FAS in the eyes.

  26. louise_brooks says:

    Submitted by LoCoJo on Wed, 01/11/2012 – 9:40am.

    That does sound really cool. I love animals and going to the zoo and aquarium.

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