Behold, The Most Beautiful Woman In The Kardashian Klan
The bill collectors must be shoving themselves through Ellen Kardashian's plumbing pipes to get into her house, because she's throwing up all the secrets she knows about the Kardashians to Star Magazine. First came Ellen's accusation that Khloe is not a Kardashian by blood and now she's saying that if you crawled into the back of Bruce Jenner's closet, you'd find a wardrobe fit for a night time queen. After a long day of getting his nuts twisted by the devil claw attached to Pimp Mama Kris, Bruce loves to wind down with a marabou boa around his neck and the size 15 heels he stole from Khloe's closet on his feet.
Ellen apparently heard from Bruce Jenner's ex-wife that when the lights go down and the bedroom door closes, he transforms himself into Brucella Jenner (and you know he looks better than Kris)! This is what came out of Ellen's mouth about Bruce's not-so-scandalous secret:
“'Of course Bruce was every woman’s heartthrob when he was that age, right? But Chrystie said, ‘Yeah, until I went on a trip and I came back and he had gone through all my clothes. And I found my bras… He’d clip them together and wear them.' I couldn’t live with that.
And Ellen went on, "No, I couldn't live with that. But I can totally live with telling everyone about it! Now, can I get those stack of hundreds you promised, because these bill collectors are totally up my ass! No, I mean that literally, because when I sat on the toilet this morning one of them crawled up there."
And I think it's about time that I show you what this Ellen Kardashian looks like:
Yeah, are you thinking what I'm thinking? Let me put our thoughts into picture form:
Dim your monitor, sit all the way back, tilt your head, squint your eyes and hold your breath until your brain becomes slightly dead (like a Kardashian!).... You see it, right? Bruce Jenner IS Ellen Kardashian. Ellen Kardashian IS Bruce Jenner. It all makes sense (but it only makes sense because your brain is slightly dead from holding your breath that long).
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dam he's 1 step away from nylons and a dress ..."scary""
Throw Bruce in a pair of high pocket Jordache jeans, send him to the Regal Beagle and that bitch is Joyce DeWitt!
Submitted by pixxxie on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 12:31pm.
Maybe im alone here but talking about someone elses private sex life is trashy as hell.. bruce is harmless and hasnt done anything to anyone.. how low to the scum sucking earth can you be????
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oh whatever Bruce, go put more makeup on your face!!
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Maybe im alone here but talking about someone elses private sex life is trashy as hell.. bruce is harmless and hasnt done anything to anyone.. how low to the scum sucking earth can you be???? Trashy trashy ellen.
He looks like an old lesbian owl, but without the dignity.
He already looks like a man in drag as it is so it wouldn't be a stretch. He is wearing pick lipstick in this photo and he looks more like a lady than a man at this point. His days of looking like a guy are long gone since he went under the knife so many times and that started in the 1970's.
bruce maybe a total shit but he still has some of his looks and i could totally see him rocking a wig, a dress and a nice pair of heels.
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"The world is a pretty nice place if you're happy"
John Garfield
No one lives forever
Einhorn is Finkle. FINKLE IS EINHORN.
holy fuck, what I'd give for a time machine that could just dial the world back to the setting: TRSH (ThoseRealityShowHo's).
Never trust a man with plucked eyebrows. It's just 1000 different kinds of wrong. And pardon me, but TWO earrings? Jeez, Bruce-ella indeed.
Bruce looks like a chick here so my guess is, that's the look he's going for. What a shame. He used to be so friggin' hot back in the day. As warmislandsun said below, I'd say he looks like a middle aged lesbian, but that would be an insult to middle aged lesbians everywhere.
Manscaping is such a crime -- and this eyebrow plucking thing is the WORST. Hell, as much as I like Jimmy Fallon NOW, he was "manscaping" back in his SNL days and I couldn't stand him!
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I AM on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. -- Carlos Estevez
I can't believe he is wearing pink lipstick. He looks like he's been laid out at the cheapest, worst funeral home in town as the other post said.
Eh, no biggie when you think about it. Brucella being a cross-dresser makes sense--he's been tweaking his once-cute face for 20+ years in order to look more womanly.
I'm guessing he hasn't had sex with PMK for a good long time & their relationship is purely a business one at this point.
I read today that he's worth 100M. Can this be true?
Well, I guess if he wants to morph into a nice middle-aged lesbian, then that is his right. He's about 75% of the way there. The poor daughter looks masculine next to him. I'd pity this family if their fame-whoring ways didn't make me so naseous.
I must be in the minority here, but I don't think Kylie Jenner is at all unattractive.
Bruce looks ridiculous, however. The earring isn't helping.
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
It's sad, He has that same look as Priscilla Presley, Kenny Rogers, and I just noticed in those pics of Dolly Parton yesterday, she has it too. I think it's botox that makes their eyes look dead, and then they get weird filler to fill the wrinkles from inside. But it doesn't work. These people are like the test subjects while they try to get it right.
http://burning-plastic.tumblr.com/
Fking, this whole family, except Khloe, STFU. Cease and desist with posting all of your warped and creepy mugs. Fuck off, assholes.
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"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." Christopher Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP Winehouse,1983-2011) *caprica six was/is here*
Submitted by sinjin on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 3:04pm.
Nice plug. That wont work here.
Submitted by sinjin on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 3:04pm.
Nice plug. That wont work here.
I had to run out and get a bottle of Shocked because I used it all up on a previous post ....
unfortunately I couldn't afford any Givafuk....
Yes. Yes, it's all starting to make sense now...
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This episode brought to you by the letter SHUTUP.
I suppose everyone has secrets. To be honest, this is the most interesting thing about this family. HA!
Meanwhile, those kids are going to be the succubus of humanity.
MK, you lost me at "Ellen Kardashian's plumbing pipes"
WhoTFcuk are these people? They're one and the same? Which one is jenner? I.AM.CONFUSED!
"The only money shot you'll get is a load of tears to the face." MK
Sandbitch, I am mesmerized by the dancing pussy in your avie...how did you get that sessy thing to strut like that???
oh in the first pic they both look like creepy servants for the Kardashian Klan.
They both look so dead, no souls...ugh!
I still think it's fucked up that someone's homosexuality (or rumored homosexuality) could be used against them like that.
In the end it implies that it's shameful.
"Brucella Jenner"--LMFAO!
This actually isn't all that tough to believe.
yet more proof who really has the dick in this family, and it ain't the men...(not a one of them)...I think PMK just needs to get that sex change since she seems to like to take every male she deals with nutsack and dick and leave them looking like little Brucey-Wucey...so going from an Olympic Gold Medal winner to marrying a professional Whore/Pimp is a step up??? Lord, how far he has fallen...damn shame for sho!!
Submitted by miz cynical: Did anyone catch that episode of the soup a few weeks ago when Khloe and Bruce were talking about giving one of the younger daughter's the sex talk?
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I did. Très tacky! *smh*
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
Oh, it was so gross. And when you have an older sis with a fuck tape that's avail on the interwebs, is there realy a need for 'the talk'? It's either don't do what she did OR, look @ what she did and take some notes. I thought Bruce would at least be protective of his own daughters.
Did anyone catch that episode of the soup a few weeks ago when Khloe and Bruce were talking about giving one of the younger daughter's the sex talk? And Khloe mentions queefing and Bruce refers to them as pussy farts? So...fucking...gross..this family has NO boundaries, no sense of decency. It was foul on so many levels.
Hey! Who are the two ladies?
He and Ronn Moss are becoming clones, I think. They both look like definite cocksmokers.
Any idea who the father may be?
I watched that mess of a show KK take NY last night, and K is griping in a limo in Dubai about being married to Derp and not looking forward to going home. PMK says she and Kardashian Sr. were obesessed with each other from first meeting until at least 10 years later. However, Kloe was born 6 years after they married. If she's so obsessed with her husband why is she stepping out on him?
LYING SLORE.
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
Oh that picture kills me. Fug and fugger Jennings.
perpetual bad dye job, laughably plucked 1970s eyebrows, pink lipstick from the children's department, 3 or 4 failed nosejobs ... this guy looks like a corpse laid out at the cheapest mortuary in town
Any man who shapes his eyebrows. Any man who wears earrings in both ears. Suspect!
I doubt it was discovering Bruce's size 14 heels that made Khloe cry and ring her da...Robert Kardashian. It was probably realizing that Bruce's anal beads were Bruce's anal beads.
Submitted by snowpiece on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 2:19pm.
Gigaboob he should donate his peen to Chaz when he has it removed
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Lol. And then Chaz will tell us ALL about it in People. With pictures. K maybe not People.
Poor Bruce. He went from being an Olympic gold medalist in the decathalon no less!! To this fuckery.
Talk about going from the big WIN to the biggest FAIL.
I give him the benefit of the doubt and I think he is mortified by all this BS. Still, he stays.
As for whether he dresses up like a girl, who knows? And really, who cares?
I just can't post without it doing a dbl.
Submitted by super martian r... on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 2:16pm.
I decided mine was gay when I walked in on him with some dude's cock in his mouth. He denies it ever happened, though.
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LOLOLOLOLOLOL! I don't know if you are serious or joking, but that made me laugh!
His daughter looks like a chola singing in a mariachi band.
He looks like her granny.
@ SNOWPIECE, he hooked them together to extend them so they would go around his chest.
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
We saw nelly homosexual Bruce Jenner up close many times at Golds Gym, Venice....and take it from us: S.C.A.R.Y.!
You know PMK's idea of a hot night is making Bruce dress up in lingerie while she breaks in her new riding crop. Then she gets out the strap-on & Bruce wakes up the next morning with sharp rectal pains.
OMG someone is quite, quite tangy. Does he have PMK stimulate his prostate too?
So wait... the Kardashian's step-mom was Briggette Nielson? Do they know Flavor Flav?
Bruce Jenner has that waxy faced, paralyzed look that Christopher Reeves had at the end. The daughter has an uncanny resembalance to Michael Jackson. Neither one is a good look.
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Submitted by super martian r... on Wed, 01/11/2012 - 2:16pm.
I decided mine was gay when I walked in on him with some dude's cock in his mouth. He denies it ever happened, though.
o_O
Gigaboob he should donate his peen to Chaz when he has it removed
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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky