Hot Slut Of The Day!

January 10, 2012 / Posted by:

If Venus was birthed in a Miller Lite box that swept up on the shores of a Miami-area swamp while surrounded by hillbillies smoking roach poison on a broken light bulb, she would look exactly like the modern sea goddess of Florida, Josie Goldberg! The sounds of Botticelli heeling himself in the crotch are echoing through the halls of heaven, because he will never forgive himself for being dead and not being able to capture this kind of awe-inspiring natural beauty in egg tempera.

Josie Goldberg is a much sought-after actress (credits: Millionaire Matchmaker, Farmer Wants a Wife, etc, etc), model and she’s the sole reason why the Miami Dade Coastal Cleanup can never keep up. Because cigarettes, PBR cans and crack pipes drop out of the hands of beachgoers whenever Josie gloats (I meant to type “floats” but my finger jumped to “g” and it knows best) onto the sand in yet another early 90s vintage swimsuit from the AS IS box at the Lane Bryant outlet. They must free their hands to slow clap at her graceful murf-releasing skills.

But to me, Josie is known as the stunning ball of tepid sexiness that clogs up photo agency light boxes with her bikini beach photos every week. Seriously, I always see Florida’s answer to the Birth of Venus on photo agency websites and I never knew who she was for the longest time. Josie is like a top-tier graduate of Phoebe Price’s Just Keep Showing Up On The Ho Stroll Until They Get Bored And Start Taking Your Picture” School of Ambition.

If you’re still hungry for more of Josie, feast your eyes on this. I haven’t seen posing like this since I skipped through SwimsuitsForAll.com a couple of seconds ago to research this highly important story.

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