No, Jay-Z’s Bodyguards Will Not Let You Visit Your Sick Twins

January 9, 2012 / Posted by:

Beyonce and Jay-Z bought an entire wing of the sixth floor of Lenox Hill Hospital for $1.3 million, because self-entitlement runs through their veins, and because they didn’t want anybody seeing their South American surrogate being shuttled in getting a picture of their precious Baby Blue Ivy. Their headset-wearing bodyguards trolled the entire floor and stopped any ordinary peon from entering the golden wing of eternal light including a father who just wanted to see his premature twin girls. Neil Coulon tells The New York Daily News that he tried to see his sick girls in the neonatal intensive care unit on the sixth floor, but Jay-Z’s goons blocked his way and banished him from the entire floor.

“Three times they stopped me from entering or exiting the NICU (Neo-natal Intensive Care Unit) and it happened once on Friday — just because they wanted to use the hallway. They should have been more strategic about it Tches are children with problems in intensive care and you’re just going to take over the hospital like you own it? All I want is an apology.

I know they spent $1.3 million and I’m just a contractor from Bed-Stuy, but the treatment we received was not okay. My wife is just terribly upset. She had a C-section. She gave birth to twins. She is sore. Nobody needs this. This is the NICU. Nobody cares if you’re a celebrity. Nobody is star-gazing. They just want to see their children.

To have that circus roll into town and ruin our parade was unpleasant.”

A rep for Lenox Hill said that she’s trying to hear Mr. Coulon’s complaint, but it’s hard to hear him over the sound of a machine counting all the cash that Jay-Z and Beyonce gave them. I’m sure Mr. Coulon will soon receive a postcard from Lenox Hill that reads: Jay-Z and Beyonce gave us money-loving whores $1.3 million, your argument is invalid.

Mr. Coulon had it kind of easy, though. I heard that on Saturday night, every world leader ordered a cease labor on all contracting coochies, because Beyonce refused for her special golden child to be born at the same time as a bunch of regulars!

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