B.I.C. (Blue Ivy Carter) Is Already A Recording Star

January 9, 2012 / Posted by:

While Michelle Williams hears nothing but the sound of a tumbleweave blowing down the lonely road when she asks “Whose butt do I have to much to get my song played?!“, Blue Ivy Carter just has to be born to get some airplay. Just two days after Blue Ivy caused chaos at Lenox Hill, Jay-Z has released a new single called “Glory (Ft. B.I.C.)” where he confesses that Beyonce had a miscarriage before. Here’s all the lyrics courtesy of Jezebel:

The most amazing feeling I feel
Words can’t describe what I’m feeling, for real
Baby paint the sky blue
My greatest creation was you

False alarms and false starts
All made better by the sound of your heart
All the pain of the last time
I prayed so hard it was the last time
Your mama said that you danced for her
Did you wiggle your ass for her?

Bad-ass lil Hov
two years old, shopping on Saville Row
Wicked-ass lil B
Hard not to spoil you rotten, looking like lil me
The most beautifullest thing in this world
Is daddy’s little girl
You don’t yet know what swag is
But you was made in Paris
And mama woke up the next day
And shouted out the package (?!)
Last time the miscarriage was so tragic
We was afraid you’d disappear
But naw, baby, you magic

“Did you wiggle your ass for her?” I’m not a mother to a newborn messiah, but I’m pretty sure she’s wiggling her ass, because she wants the nanny (Basement Baby) to change her House of Derriere diaper. And the crying at the end?! The Grammy committee is probably holding an emergency meeting as a fart this out to come up with a way to give Blue Ivy Carter some kind of special award.

The one thing this song tells me is that we’re never ever ever going to stop hearing about this baby. Hell, I can’t even take a hit from my bong without looking at my BIC lighter and seeing Blue Ivy Carter instead of the BIC Man. Well, damn.

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