The Time David O. Russell Groped His Transgendered Niece’s Tits In The Middle Of A Hotel Gym

David O. Russell, noted asshole (click here and here for evidence) and director of The Fighter was being investigated by the Broward County Sheriff’s after his 19-year-old transgendered niece told police that he molested her chichis in the gym of a Florida hotel during a workout on December 30th. If this story was a cup of alphabet soup, it would only have the letters W, T and F floating in it, because this shit is just fucked up.

TMZ says that David’s niece told police that they were doing ab crunches together (???) when he stopped to ask her about her transition and that led to talk about how hormones are making her tits grow. The niece claims that during their talk David slipped his hands under her top to touch her bare breasts. So there’s David, molesting his transgendered niece right next to the ab crunch machine in the middle of a damn gym. If it makes you feel less gross, David and his niece aren’t related by blood. It didn’t take a layer of gross off? Yeah, me neither.

The niece reported the titty grab three days after it happened. She told the cops that it made her feel uncomfortable, but she never told him to stop. When the cops asked David about it, he said that she gave him permission, because she wanted to know if one of her tits was bigger than the other. David also said that his niece is the one who made him pinky swear to not tell anyone about it. At this point in the police interview, David probably should’ve ate his fist and shut the hell up, but he kept talking:

In the police report, one of the investigators notes, “Russell stated [his niece] is always causing drama since the transgender transformation and has become very provocative and seductive.”

That shit actually came out of his talk hole. Lily Tomlin, please feed this asshole your boot. David should’ve just told police, “It’s Florida!” That would’ve been a better excuse.

And when you’re a 52-year-old grown man and a 19-year-old asks you to PINKY SWEAR to not tell anyone about you grabbing her nipples in a hotel gym, just perform a citizen’s arrest on yourself and go directly to jail. Because something illegal definitely went down.

A little while ago, a rep for the Broward County Sheriff’s office said that they are not filing charges against David and the case is closed:

“We are pleased that the authorities have looked into this matter and have confirmed that the investigation has been concluded and the case has been closed.”

They probably checked the law books and found out that in Florida a pinky swear is considered a legally binding agreement and so none of their testimonies could be used in court. Damn.