Chaz Bono Is Saving Up For A Peen
Chaz Bono's former fiancee wasn't looking forward to putting her mouth over a peen instead of a poon, but now that she's gone he can freely chase after his dick-getting dreams. But first, Chaz has to fill his peen fund with enough dollars to pay for the surgery. Chaz tells Rolling Stone that he's already picked out a doctor in Belgrade and all he needs is around $45,000 to take his down low parts from clit to cock. Chaz broke it down, and yes, my eyeballs bungeed out of their sockets and hit the screen after I read that his shiny new dick could be Tommy Lee-sized.
"I could get a phalloplasty, which builds the phallus from a donor site on your body," he says straightforwardly, "but I'm leaning more toward a metoidioplasty. It's a procedure that uses what you already have down there" – he means his clitoris – "which has grown larger from the testosterone. You end up with a smaller phallus than with the phalloplasty, but it's fully functional, it gets erect, and the sensation is all there."Does he know how big it's going to be?
He frowns. "You know, I don't really. I mean, I've never seen one erect. So it's really hard to say. But, you know, soft, probably about three inches, and it grows considerably. I don't know what the average size difference is, but when I'm having sex I probably get three or four times larger." He pauses. "I was in a fairly typical heterosexual relationship, which caused some militant members of the queer community to think I'm reinforcing stereotypes or whatever. Anyway, I think Jen wished I wouldn't get the bottom done, but she understood my need to." He shrugs. "You have to understand, though, for me the life transformation has already happened."
I don't know if it was Chaz or another transman who said that he wasn't touching his bottom area yet, because the recovery from the surgery is as painful as getting fucked in the pee hole with a hot screw and the dick doesn't even work that well anyway.
I read a while ago that some new dicks can only get fully erect with the help of a pump. That would kind of suck. You're like, "Get ready, bitch, this rock hard fat dick is going to fuck you into another religion! Hold onto your nipples cause they're gonna pop off from the fuck quake I'm about to hit you with. We're going to break the Richter Scale tonight! Are you ready? Oh wait, can you grab that bike pump out of the closet..." (<---- That's pretty much the dialogue heard in Hugh Hefner's room every night.) But I'm glad to hear from Chaz that this doesn't seem to be the case anymore. I'm also glad to hear that Chaz's peen will be able to grow naturally and then some!
I mean, it's been a while since I've failed grade school math, but three times four equals twelve, right? Chaz can get himself a 12 inch salchicha dick? Chaz says that he will never ask Cher for the money since he wants to do this own his own, but I say, STOP IT! When it comes to getting a 12-inch dick, all pride for independence should fly out of the window. Just get that 12-inch dick, Chaz! Seriously, if Chaz gets hit by a bus tomorrow, wouldn't he want to be hit while having a 12-inch dick? I don't even see Chaz's lips moving and I can tell that he's fighting to say the word YAAAASSSSS!
Hell, Cher is so rich that she can buy everyone a 12 incher. She could be like the Oprah of 12-inch dicks. You get a 12-inch dick and you get a 12-inch dick! I'll take one. My arm is getting so tired from hitting the snooze button 50 times every morning, so it would be nice to be able to hit that button with my new 1 footer.
And Google tells me that Chaz will still have an orgasm, but won't be able to ejaculate. Those surgeons should try to fix that problem. Can't they install jizz sacks down? Flavored ones? That would really be the best and I'd get that. Can you imagine if you had flavored jizz? That would be a priceless pick-up tool. Think about it. You're at the cream bar at Starbucks when some hot piece mutters to himself, "Ugh, they're out of hazelnut." You wink inside knowing you've got this, grab his cup and fiddle with a few knobs on your nutsack before you quickly shoot out a stream of hazelnut deliciousness. That would be a beautiful story to tell everyone on your wedding day.
(Image via Out Magazine)
"His clitoris". Does not compute.
Why should Cher give Chaz money to have this purely elective surgery? Chaz isn't a child. He's in his mid 40's. He should be paying for this himself.
Come at me bitch!
Beyond repulsive.
"No matter how cynical you become, it's impossible to keep up." - Lily Tomlin
Why buy a fake dick you're not even going to be able to see?
Or why doesn't he use the money he made while on DWS? And hasn't he made appearances on a few cable shows as well? This guys got money come on....
________________
"The world is a pretty nice place if you're happy"
John Garfield
No one lives forever
Uh Cher..... birthday, christmas, MLK, VD, St Pat's, middle of the week solstice or kwanzaa ideas.
Why doesn't he just ask mom for the money?
___________________
"The world is a pretty nice place if you're happy"
John Garfield
No one lives forever
What? Three or four times bigger? What kind of penis does THAT?
And HOW does this bitch not have stretch marks? (On the stomach, not the pec/tit area that clearly already has stretch marks from giving way to the medicine ball belly) He looks like he's pregnant with twins+. Dude, lose some weight.
Also I'm skeptical about the idea of it being due to hormones. I don't know what kind of hormones he IS taking, but if he's upping the testosterone... Men typically lose weight *easier* than women because their bodies aren't designed to keep it on the same way.
Oh my gaaaad! This post is Hill-hairy-dicks!
You really outdid yourself right here, MK. Ahahaaa
"I mean, it's been a while since I've failed grade school math, but three times four equals twelve, right?" hahaa!
"his rock hard fat dick is going to fuck you into another religion!" - That made me kinda cream my crotchless panties.
"Can't they install jizz sacks down? Flavored ones? That would really be the best and I'd get that."
I agree with all of the above. Go for the big-ness, Chaz!
.
.
. . .handed over the cash. . .
I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.
How many millions has Cher spent on her face and she hasn't immediately over the cash to buy her son a penis??? PLEASE!
I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.
Just checking to see if my new avie works.
_______________________________________________
"When I come up, I rush, I rush for you..."
It's not worth the risk of infection and necrosis or loss of sensitivity down there to have a fake peen of vaj. If I were a FtM trans I would utilize all the yummy strap ons out there and if I were MtF trans I would keep my precious little peenween and coinpurse.
I can't quite shake the feeling that all of Chaz's decisions are really just an attempt to outshine mom. It's Cher after all, how the hell do you top that?
**********
Shiitake happens...
I find him strangely hot. Hope he's happy.
_______________________________________________
Dale Doback: Okay, here's the shot out of the cannon: Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta fuck one, marry one, kill one, go!
Don't know this bitch, never met the him. He strikes me as a bit of a jerk. That said, I don't make fun of someone having these issues. I would never call him a freak. Says more about the name-caller... These are serious problems, and the operation is painful enough. Have some compassion people! More power Chaz! Hope you make yourself happy with the changes.
In the meantime, please don't show me those flat titties and that belly... keep them covered or give me a warning!
"The only money shot you'll get is a load of tears to the face." MK
You really rocked this one, MichaelK!
I think he should save up for liposuction.
"Get ready, bitch, this rock hard fat dick is going to fuck you into another religion! Hold onto your nipples cause they're gonna pop off from the fuck quake I'm about to hit you with. We're going to break the Richter Scale tonight! Are you ready? Oh wait, can you grab that bike pump out of the closet..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
now the whole office is wondering why I'm laughing so hard I'm crying!..... MK you Crack ME UP!!!!!!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I guess it's best to end a relationship the same way you start it: absolutely fucking tanked. MK 6/11
Maybe they could transfer some of that mega gut into making a mega penis
Oh god, that gut. He needs to save up to have gastric bypass or something. That is so unattractive. It was bouncing up a down on DWTS.
I wouldn't mind if Chaz wasn't such a fugly beast and massive attention whore. Just fuck off already. Another famous obese American is not what the world needs or wants, male or female.
Bree:
Thanks for your mature, sensitive perspective.
I am trans (although I'm headed in the, uh, opposite direction of Chaz). And while I hardly condone everything said and/or done by every transperson, I do think that the general public needs to chill out (quite) a bit with the anti-trans hate. For instance, the transmen I know are all well adjusted and reasonably successful; but in my experience, many otherwise educated and compassionate people become pretty beastly once they are confronted by transgenderism. It's been an unfortunate eye-opener.
how about saving up for gastric bypass first? Dude is obese. And if your belly is smaller, you don't have FUPA and it makes your meat look bigger.
Someone had posted earlier that Chaz may have been born with a genetic profile that was more male than female. Given how much Chaz loves to share everything about this process with the public, I think he would have been shouting the fact that he was born more male than female from the rooftops. It would make his case that much stronger to say that he was born more male.
Also, given all of the issues Chaz seems to display on camera, how much counseling has he had???
Come at me bitch!
Now I'm going to have that Starbucks image in my head for the rest of the day. (awesome!)
"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West
Submitted by Bree on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 12:08pm.
Gender identity has nothing to do with having a glamorous showbiz mom, attention-whoring, or playing with boy toys growing up. Many people with this disorder have felt like a boy in a girl's body, or a girl in a boy's body, from their earliest memories. Your gender identity is completely different and separate from your biological parts. Trust me when I say it is a very, very long, lengthy process to change your gender and you have to meet with tons of therapists and psychologists before you can even begin taking hormones, let alone change your bits down there.
I recommend this article for some additional reading: http://abcnews.go.com/Health/identical-twin-boys-transgender-brother-sis...
It's about a set of twins, one who is transgendered, and how he always identified as a girl growing up.
You can't help who you are. You can only embrace it and say fuck you to those who don't.
==========
Here, here! Spot on, Bree. And thanks for the link.
Submitted by jussayin on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 2:12pm.
fuck a penis. go splurge on a personality!
**********************
Ahahahahaha! So true!
fuck a penis. go splurge on a personality!
Man, woman... still not attractive as either.
And really, shut the hell up. We get it - you're getting your gina traded in for a dick. You don't need to talk to the masses about your genitals all the time. Your famewhorey need for attention is actually making things HARDER for the trans community, Chaz.
Oh, and as for the Chaz/Leann question, I choose celibacy.
And I totally agree that Chaz has to lose a hundred lbs before any major surgery. He could seriously, really die on the operating table. And it ain't just the hormones - he was this fat when he was a she, before the hormones.
*********
I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Submitted by dlaugher on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 1:23pm.
Chaz, please lose the bowling ball before you have more surgery.
---Absolutely! I'm wondering if Chaz could be with child. Srsly, one could crack a flea on that belly.
Y'know, there are few women who would dare flaunt a hairy gunt like that in public, or private. For that reason alone, I'm glad Chaz is going the whole hog with the man thing. Imagine seeing that belly emerging from a pink frilly frock, in high heels.
Personally, I don't fancy having a hole drilled in my man in the boat so I can pee out of it, no thanks.
Why is Chaz so compelled to share the story of her/his peen with us?
What the hell did we do to deserve this.
=========
Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Chaz, please lose the bowling ball before you have more surgery.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Amnesty International
Shine a Light
You can have all your reproductive organs removed from something like cancer but it does not change your gender. Its all about how you present yourself in the world as either a man or woman.
I also think Chaz is broke because this entire gender transformation in the long run is more than just $45,000. The mastectomies surgery, the hormone treatments, out of pocket mandatory counselling.. very expensive.
The thing that bugs me about Chaz is that he doesn't shut the fuck up about things. Sure, be an advocate and be proud of who you are, but we do not need every little thought or detail in your head discussed in every interview you give.
Dude needs to lose some fucking weight before getting a huge cock, IMO. And before someone goes off on me with the "It's the hormones, it's the hormones" NO, it is not just the hormones that are making him fat. He even said as much.
Maybe he can try to be a pitch man for Nutrisystem or whichever place is currently without an African-American singer representing them.
"the sensation is all there"
I wonder about this - I mean how would someone with a man-made peen know for sure that it felt anything like a real 'born with it' pee-pee?
And a clit growing to four times the original size? Come ON.
Submitted by warmjuice on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 10:29am.
Submitted by Who Cares on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 10:23am.
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 10:14am.
Some of you who are calling him a freak and that "she will never be a he" need to do some research and a little bit of learning. But I guess ignorance is bliss...right?
Or maybe you are the freak who slept through science and medical school. She is and will be always a she. Add a cock remove a cock does not change the fucking sex of a person. Good God, children.
-----------------------------------------------------
….and you went to which medical school? Let me guess, you don't have to but everyones else does, right derp?
-----------------------------------------------------
Who Cares:
Oh no warmjuice you can’t learn anything working at Walmart, too bad for you.
-------------------------------------------
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 10:32am.
Submitted by Who Cares on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 10:23am.
Freak? Yes. Degrees in Math and Natural Sciences? Yes and yes. You probably think being gay is a choice too, right?
-------------------------------------------
Who Cares:
No not a choice. Thus the reason for my opinion with Science and Medical.
I believe it is more than most know because one has to live inside that person and most of us have not.
I have many Gays in my own family male & female and I do-not believe they are freaks, they are confused and different. But they are also not trying to change their whole bodies which is something personally I believe destroys someone in the end. At what point are you done, fixed, corrected? When does the correction really correct anything? We all know we can’t correct all people who think opposite of the ones wanting the fix. That is more of a problem than the fixing.
Once again, she is always going to be a she and making your life even more pubic is the fucking bigger problem then trying to make a change of sex.
Too much fucking information, Chaz. *feels forced to think about this 3 inch clit and cringes*
Okay, it's taken me all of the AM and this far into the afternoon to digest all of this and all my poor brain can come up with is...
trying saying "from clit to cock" 3 times fast..... betcha can't do it.
I don't like Chaz Bono, but I do admire him for his courage and honesty. Having a sex change operation is not for the fainthearted.
-------------------------------------------------------
"We are here on earth to do good for others.
What the others are here for, I don't know."
W.H. Auden
Gender identity has nothing to do with having a glamorous showbiz mom, attention-whoring, or playing with boy toys growing up. Many people with this disorder have felt like a boy in a girl's body, or a girl in a boy's body, from their earliest memories. Your gender identity is completely different and separate from your biological parts. Trust me when I say it is a very, very long, lengthy process to change your gender and you have to meet with tons of therapists and psychologists before you can even begin taking hormones, let alone change your bits down there.
I recommend this article for some additional reading: http://abcnews.go.com/Health/identical-twin-boys-transgender-brother-sis...
It's about a set of twins, one who is transgendered, and how he always identified as a girl growing up.
You can't help who you are. You can only embrace it and say fuck you to those who don't.
*laughing ass off at the hazel nut story* Ahh.. now we're in wedded bliss. Haaaahaaa.
Submitted by Deb on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 11:45am.
AMEN, Satan!
---
You vixen! Thank you for that. Your spot is warm and reserved here next to Jack, Deb. >:D
knock if off john candy wannabe
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
He lost me at "donor shaft.'
First time blood starts pumping into that imagined 12 inch cock of his, he is going to stroke out anyway. Thats going to be one expensive ass boner.
Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
AMEN, Satan!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Submitted by Deb on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 11:37am.
Maybe but not necessarily. If Cher had groomed Chastity to become "CHER LITE", I'm sure we'd be seeing Chastity Gaga today.
The thing is, Chastity didn't go for that.
She's coming out now and it seems contrived on some levels and she might be seriously mentally ill (which is a whole 'nother Dr. Phil episode) but, she has mutilated her body PERMANENTLY. Chaz obviously has some convictions about who he is now. It seem Cher ostracized her daughter early on when it was clear that she was not going to be a glamour girl like her.
But, as we have all said...
KEEP THE FUCKING CLOTHES ON!
Have some fucking dignity for fuck's sake.
What does a person have to do before he or she can legally change gender's?
I thought that Chaz had his breasts removed and takes male hormones. I don't think he's had a hysterectomy.
Come at me bitch!
Submitted by Satan on Fri, 01/06/2012 - 11:26am.
You make many excellent points, but Satan, may I play your advocate here?
Chastity WAS cute, but there would have been no way that she could try to emulate her mother's style (Cher for crissakes) and get attention. She would disappear next to Cher's glittery aura.
Going totally the opposite route DOES attract attention.
Look, I believe that Chaz may be more genetically male, and I don't believe that being gay is a choice. I also don't think that deciding to change gender necessarily qualifies one for the title of "hero" any more than deciding to breed does.
And yes, we're all fucked up somehow. ;-)
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson