Shut It Down: Rotten Peaches Geldof Is Procreating
In the director's cut of We Need To Talk About Kevin, we learn that the movie takes place in the future and that Tilda Swinton actually bought the psychotic Kevin in the parking lot of a 7-Eleven in Connecticut from a dirty, raggedy hipster homeless-looking couple who turned out to be Peaches Geldof and her fiancé Thomas Cohen (<---- This doesn't happen in the director's cut of WNTTAK). And now it's all coming true in real life! Peaches' rep told The Mirror this morning that the womb bag in her body that used to store old heroin sludge and pieces of her liver is now carrying a fetus.
"Peaches Geldof and her fiance Thomas Cohen are delighted to announce that Peaches is pregnant with their first child.Peaches is utterly thrilled and they have the full support of both of their families who are equally excited for the baby's arrival."
There are only two good things that can come out of this. The first one is that Peaches is twisted in the brains so she's obviously going to fuck up her baby's life by giving it a name that sounds like the name of an STD that only affects My Little Ponies. I'm thinking Nectarine Foofy Bomb. The second is that Nectarine Foofy Bomb will inherit its father's fashion sense, because this world definitely needs more toddlers who dress like a 1980s late-in-life lesbian gym teacher going to a Woody Allen film class at a community college.
I'm thinking that since her mother saddled all her girls with stupid, stupid names and ALL celeb are trying to outdo each other with weird names, Peaches will go the opposite route and call her baby something like Alice or Jane or George or Thomas.
Yeah, feel sorry for this kid already.
Submitted by sweet_b on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 10:41am.
What kind of crack were the people blowing when they named these kids. Peaches, Pixie, Tiger Lily..wtf! I hope they name their baby Fred just to offset this bullshit
*************
Good, old-fashioned heroin, actually.
It wouldn't surprise me if Peaches was born already addicted to it.
Amen Niko, "sir" bob has blood on his hands and all of Paula's children are lucky if they live to tell.
Where does a guy buy a skirt like that...is there a hipster shop or something?
Whenever I see Peaches' bf I want to exclaim: "Hey McFlyyyyyyy!"
_________________________________________________
When I come up, I rush, I rush for you..."
oh great, now she can birth another opiate and cocaine addicted baby just like her mum!
Peaches is the worst, but I reserve judgement about her as a mother. Silly, superficial, immature, annoying party girl coke heads can sometimes snap the fuck out of it and grow the hell up when they become pregnant. Exhibit: Lily Allen, Nicole Richie and um..well...me (the annoying part still stands)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"It's always funny until somebody gets hurt-then it's fucking hilarious": The late great Bill Hicks
Condi the ingro... on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 1:49pm.
What can I say, like Peaches I liked 'em thin, pale and wimpy-looking back then.
----
I usually do too. I've had that taste for a long, long time, but even then this guy is just too far down that road. He looks like he's about to fall over, and I can't envision any universe where that is attractive on a man.
Submitted by Mawy on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 4:10pm.
There's no way that guy is straight. I'll take my men manly, thank you very much.
--------------------------------------
He is (my guess) straight, he's actually quite cute in some pics, truely, and deffo has hit the jackpot by spawning the money machine. Clever young man, I give him that. Daddy in law will stuff him with his charity money once this golden union breaks (i. e. in about 12 months) for keeping his gob shut. Team Thomas Cohen!
------------------------
Auri sacra fames
There's no way that guy is straight. I'll take my men manly, thank you very much.
------------------------------------------------
Use goodsearch instead of google. Each time you search, you can donate money to your favorite charity without having to spend any money yourself! Spread the word.
The spawn a further item in the Geldof money spinning machine, not doing anything and getting rich by doing so."Give us your fucking money", future Grand Dad way back then, people in Africa worse off than in 1985, "Sir Bob" a millionaire, of course he can't save Africa, but he should at least told his offspring to do something useful as opposed to ammass another obscene amount of money by overdosing/getting preggers. Can't even hate on poor Peaches, the Bob winds me up no end. Non existent father, flying around to collect ridiculous awards, stealing his ex's child from her family, apparantly doing a pisspoor job on raising his kids, this guy is the poorest excuse for a human being I can think of.
I so hope these people will die out comes 2013.
------------------------
Auri sacra fames
That boy is more fey than Tina Fey.
***************************************
Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
At least they said "Peaches is pregnant" and not "we're pregnant". Gawd, I hate that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This episode brought to you by the letter SHUTUP.
Jesus, get that boy a burger and some dumbbells or something. He's got the upper torso of a ten year old.
Submitted by louise_brooks on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:38am.
I have this book called, "Sew What Skirts" that has 16 skirt patterns that you draft yourself. It's worth the cost even if you just make the basic A line skirt and the wrap skirt. All very clear, easy instructions for even beginners.
*************************************
I have never sewed a thing in my entire life. Does that mean I can still manage to sew skirts?
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
Why is he wearing culottes in this photo? And why do European men always wear hard shoes with heels with shorts (er, culottes)? See Four Weddings and a Funeral for corroboration - in it Hugh Grant is the king of this, er, style choice.
Sadly, Cohen reminds me of an old boyfriend from college. He didn't wear culottes, but he had the same "trailing an IV" look this guy has. What can I say, like Peaches I liked 'em thin, pale and wimpy-looking back then.
If Daddy cuts her out of the will, Peaches and her (wo)man can always get work as Lady Gaga and Rumer Willis' stunt doubles.
***************************************
Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
She has a rep? Why?
On a serious note, this kid is going to be SO fucked up. I feel sorry for it already.
Holy Fuck! For a second there..me thought that was Ali Lohan's skinny ass in bermuda shorts.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
That lil' lint bastid will be back within the hour snorting your Borax with a rolled up dollar bill. Trust....TigerLilly 10.24.
Well at least the kid will probably be raised by the best nanny money can buy. The only time Rotten Peaches will trot the baby out herself is for photo ops. As for her "fiance", that is the gayest looking hipster I have ever seen. I like her dress, but I want to douse him in lighter fluid & strike a match. Well maybe her too, because those tattoos are stupid as hell.
Him: Miss Jane Hathaway goes bird-watching.
Her: Angela Lansbury in "Murder, She Wrote" gets an anklet tattoo.
Oh fuck.
Oh fuck.
Angelina Jolie needs to adopt him, he and Shiloh would make a complete set.
Starr07:
It is not wearing off any time soon. I had a big girl's vat!
And besides, I am ordering some hot dim sum that is on the way! ;)
***************************************
Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
@ Breakdown, keep going before your macchiato high fizzles away - Imma lovin your posts!
it's scientifically impossible for two vaginas to make a baby...
_____________________________________________
"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
Submitted by deadhead on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 10:46am.
I think Peaches is actually kinda hot, in a, "I just got off heroin, I'm stuck in detox and my libido kicked back in after a decades long vacation" kind of way. She's the one on the left, right?
*********************************************
LOL
Damn, that is one ugly-ass couple.
Submitted by Oxygen on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:00am.
LMAO!! I literally LOL'd at size irregular.
I have this book called, "Sew What Skirts" that has 16 skirt patterns that you draft yourself. It's worth the cost even if you just make the basic A line skirt and the wrap skirt. All very clear, easy instructions for even beginners.
OK, I've had a iced mocha macchiato, so I am not done ranting...
but what straight woman sees THAT and thinks to herself...
"I wanna get me a piece of that!"
Seriously?!
If I were a woman and saw that in a club, I would direct him towards the Transgender Support Group
***************************************
Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
oh MK, your poetry gets me through the day
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://tinyurl.com/69rcrqy
Submitted by GingeMinge
I think the expression by the guy in background says it all.
LOL. Whenever I see a pap shot of some famewhore my eyes always go to the bystanders in the shot. They are always the most interesting.
So the baby is going to have two mommies, then?
LMFPO at his ensemble. Again. Mr. Hekki and I had a good laugh at it the first time MK posted this photo. I asked Mr. Hekki "Would you ever wear that outfit?" And he said "If the check for $2 million cleared. Maybe."
I think the expression by the guy in background says it all.
Don't care. I'm saving chloroform and a wire hanger for when I read a little Parisite is on the way. Or maybe like Patsy "A KNITTING NEEDLE!"
Submitted by guest on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 10:25am.
Submitted by louise_brooks on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 10:17am.
Submitted by Oxygen on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 10:02am.
Simplicity, Butterick, Vogue....Piece Goods! LOL.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LMAO *next on to-do list - hide sewing machine that's disappears into wooden table and trash ALL the hand-me-down sewing patterns made of tar-stained onion skinned paper*
LMAO @Sweetas - those elastic bands. I remember my first attempt at making a skirt (gosh i feel like sister wives or the duggars) and thinking I'd used enough elastic but couldn't even pull that shit up past my knee caps.
*forms DListed Sewing Circle...and lest not forget those knitted (with pom pom on top)winter hats, scarves, and mittens (which was my first introduction to the size called Irregular)*
Peaches may be fooling most, but she ain't foolin' ME. I know exactly what hometrick is trying to do!
You know why Peaches is going through men left and right and trying to get knocked up? Because she knows she has to have these babies as early as possible while she is still young and her Fallopian tubes can handle all the chemical agents they have already been subjected to. Plus, once she has delivered a babything, it will be hard for her Daddy Warbucks to deny her any of her trust fund money to raise the grand-spawn. Bobby G is not about to let his grandchirrenz stay out in the cold, even if the mama is a past, present and future crackhead of epic proportions.
And the father is just s sperm donor.
Although I seriously question his ability to spout sperm.
I smell a surrogate!
***************************************
Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
Submitted by sweet_b on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 10:41am.
What kind of crack were the people blowing when they named these kids. Peaches, Pixie, Tiger Lily..wtf! I hope they name their baby Fred just to offset this bullshit
I am going to name my child High Life
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I like the word poop
I think Peaches is actually kinda hot, in a, "I just got off heroin, I'm stuck in detox and my libido kicked back in after a decades long vacation" kind of way. She's the one on the left, right?
Sweetas...lmao @ the elastic bands! They were so hard to install during home ec class.
*****************
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Weezy...lol @ fancy. ha. Can't say I've heard of Kwik Sew but there is Hancock Fabrics still.
she made our Easter dresses all throughout elementary school years. & we would buy our bonnets, gloves, Mary Janes & lace stockings or lace anklet socks to complete the ensemble. *sweet memories* *reaches for walker*
******************
Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Breaky, I love it when you go the fuck off lol. Pure poetry.
*holds all the hand-made clothes girls* Simplicity was the DEBIL when I was growing up. Thanks for the elastic waistband shorts that poof in the front and flatten my ass in the back! I didn't want any Op anyway. :p
What kind of crack were the people blowing when they named these kids. Peaches, Pixie, Tiger Lily..wtf! I hope they name their baby Fred just to offset this bullshit
Dude isn't gay, he's a hipster. Although I could be wrong, since most of the time I can't tell the diff.
Here's hoping this fad will fade into oblivion like the emo trend did.
BTW, since you're rich, give your fiancé a burger or 20 and some fucking SOAP, Peaches. Speaking of soap, buy some for yourself too.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"All great truths begin as blasphemies." - George Bernard Shaw
That brunette needs to shave her legs.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I like the word poop
I thought this was lady caca.
______________________________________________
McGill Class of '97
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Submitted by guest on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 10:25am.
Simplicity, Butterick, Vogue....Piece Goods! LOL.
Oh guest, you fancy! We were a Kwik Sew house.
What is funny is that my mom was actually a really good seamstress. She made my homecoming and prom dresses and they were gorgeous. But I'm still traumatized from the culottes.
Any bets her father will stage a World Rescue Aid Concert on their behalf? Because girlfriend your man looks broke, from every single angle.
Personally I would look twice at him as he was walking down the street and it would be because I find him utterly attractive! My second thought would be that I find him attractive because he is GAY. I find it hard to believe he's not gay and if he is, so what. I wish them the best. With a name like Peaches, I would think she'd be thrilled to name her baby Mary or Tom. Shouldn't that be how it goes??!!
_______________________
www.dungeonhordes.com
_______________________