Open Post: Hosted By Fauxgelina

January 5, 2012 / Posted by:

This is from the medieval days of 2009, but I’m posting it as a service message to third world orphans who are waiting for the moment that St. Angie Jolie will whisk into their jungle and take them away to her French chateau where they’ll spend most of their days being driven around in a sidecar by Brad Pitt. There are fake St. Angie Jolies out there who won’t whisk your third world orphan ass off to France. Don’t let them fool you! Case in point: Meet Lina Sanz, a Spanish actress who wants to work as an Angie Jolie impersonator. Does she look like the saintly one? Yeah. But Lina is missing a mutant vein on her forehead and I don’t have the sudden urge to stuff half of Claim Jumper’s menu into her hunger hole. Lina should work on that.

And was all that “Oh, put your hair down...” and “You look very very nice” from the casting lady really necessary. This shit is a “Take your top off” away from being Coco’s audition scene in Fame.

via Buzzfeed

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