Ignore the sounds of Sarah McLachlan’s “Angel” playing in your head, because even though LeAnn Rimes looks like a neglected horse fly who suffers from the dizzies due to malnourishment, she doesn’t need your $18 a month donation. LeAnn Rimes needs a lot of things (examples: shame, dignity, the name of a good titty ball surgeon), but what she doesn’t need is a donation. LeAnn’s feedbag must be filled with nothing but gold coins, because she’s permanently on vacation. In just the past few weeks, bitch was in Aspen and Mexico. And now she’s strutting her yard apart chichis in Hawaii.
LeAnn and a friend were horsing around (If you GONG me for that one, make sure it leaves a mark.) on the beach yesterday in front of a bunch of paps who I’m sure she called herself. LeAnn can’t go a week without posing for pictures that look like they came straight out of Horse Fancy’s swimsuit edition.
And I need to take a quick moment to shed light on the abuse that plastic ball is enduring at the hooves of LeAnn Rimes. Can you imagine the painful emotions it’s going through as it flies toward a ho with a cemetery of plastic balls on her chest? That poor plastic ball thinks she’s going to catch it and stuff it into her chest where it will be trapped forever. What an evil bitch. Think of the plastic balls, LeAnn!