Elin Nordegren Just Bulldozed This Florida Mansion Down

One day you're wiping up another child's barf as the nanny, then you're humping Tiger Woods on your wedding night, then you're chasing him down with a golf club and then you're bulldozing down the $12 million Florida mansion you bought with your $100 million divorce settlement. Elin Nordegren is truly living the gold digging dream! Tiger Woods wrecked his own house by sticking his wandering peen into the chocha of every Waffle House waitress in Florida and now Elin Nordegren has wrecked her own house the old-fashioned way.

TMZ says Elin bought the 9,000 square foot, 6 bedroom, 8 bathroom beachfront mansion in North Palm Beach for $12 million in March. Elin must be a disciple of Teresa Giudice's "living in a used house is gross" way of life, because she has torn it down and is planning to build her dream mansion complete with a gallery that will house the torn-off nutsacks of Tiger Woods, which was part of her settlement.

Isn't this sort of thing a regular sport for the one percent? Whatever. Elin Nordegren earned the right to be wasteful as shit and build a multimillion dollar museum to celebrate the achievements of her perfect gold digging game.

But really, this post was just an excuse to pay tribute to a future gold digger that dropped on my radar during last night's episode of Toddlers & Tiaras. I present to you....ALANA!

“I want monaaaaay! A dolla make me holla, honey boo-boo child!" is the first two sentences every young star in the money hungry universe should learn. Elin should honor the future of gold diggers by naming her mansion Honey Boo Boo Child.

Posted by: Michael K

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Submitted by Oxygen on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:32am.

Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 12:52pm.
I have never in my life wanted to punch a six year old in the face but THIS little bitch. OMG!
And her walrus mother should be shot.
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lolololololololololloololololollol....OMG

Submitted by Happy Hour on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:32am.

Snowy, I resent that double chin comment ;-d

Submitted by azgirl on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:32am.

What's the fastest way to blow through your divorce money? Buy huge homes way to big for you and your two kids and then tear them down. $100 million is a lot but it will go fast if she keeps shit like this up.

Submitted by Secret Original on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:30am.

Stupid rich dicks are the only thing propping up the construction industry.

Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:30am.

All those trophies must be from her mothers previous beauty pageant wins.

Submitted by christine the hoff on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:29am.

she coulda done a lot of good with that money, but who am I to say. not my money, so eh.

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Don't stand on my tits, bitch!

Submitted by HideyHole on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:29am.

Alana:

Look at your mom the fugly fupa coupon clipper queen. Welcome to your future crown.

Submitted by Oxygen on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:28am.

Elin ~ Okayyyyyyyyyyyy. But WHYYYYYYYYYYY? You can't find anything better to do with your riches. How about sending some money to Coupon Lady so she can send Little jackass Alana to Charm School (cause I'm sorry "honey boo boo" chile, you gonna git crown whipped, especially when you open that mouf). I really was waiting to hear the dad speak.

Submitted by Nanners on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:27am.

Elin isn't a typical golddigger to me. Tiger humiliated her so she can do whatever the fuck she wants. Go on, girl!

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What kind of fuckery is this?

Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:27am.

LMAO @ EEG, as for Elin, I don't have an issue with it, that sounds to me like something that would be a lot of fun if you have the money!

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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky

Submitted by The Sunshine Gang on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:26am.

There may be hope for this one. she seems to think the whole thing is a big joke and she's really funny! Doesn't take herself too seriously, that's a good sign IMO.

Submitted by mbar on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:26am.

OMG, ALANA! You've just created my new signature for every day and night!
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"A dolla makes me holla, honey boo boo!" -Alana, Toddlers and Tiaras

Submitted by snowpiece on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:25am.

Jaysus, that child is not cute, and she already has her Momma's double chin. Couldn't she have found a coupon to buy her child a damn bed!?!?!

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"That's what Jesus would do. Give you a blunt when you're down." MK
"I'm from the New Jersey where we say "AYY! FUCKA YOUA PIZZA PIE!!!" " Sucky

Submitted by Whamo on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:25am.

OK Devils advocate....your first impression is to say WTF!!! but for all we know the house might have been a $12mil POS. with busted foundation, termite ravaged wood and cockroach infested cockroaches....maybe?

Submitted by EastEndGirl on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:25am.

That child! Disgusting. You fat like yo mama.

And who the fuck entertains themselves by throwing around paper towel?

DO NOT PUT YOUR BALLS ON MY FACE UNLESS I'M SUCKING YOUR COCK! M.E. 07/11/11

Submitted by Callan on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:24am.

Alana's mom should be spending the money she saves from couponing on motherfucking speech therapy for her kid instead of pageants.

Submitted by IrishFury on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:23am.

What an absolute waste. I know this is seeing it from a "regular" persons point of view but the cost of the demo alone could probably provide apartments for two or three families not to mention the actual house. I cannot stand this kind of waste. Zero respect or time for this kind of nonsense.
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Dark-sided!

Submitted by M.E. on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:22am.

I have never in my life wanted to punch a six year old in the face but THIS little bitch. OMG!

And her walrus mother should be shot.

Submitted by zachhcaz on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:22am.

Could the Coupon Queen get a scholarship for a goop cleanse? She's long on shit paper, but from the looks of her, the Jabba the Hut of Georgia hasn't had any use for TP in many a moon.

Submitted by mastixa on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:19am.

Saw that Toddlers and Tiara's episode last night. Alana needs her own show honey boo boo. ASAP!

Submitted by _melissa on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:18am.

OMG She's on Toddler's and Tiaras AND AND AND she's an Extreme Couponer?!?!?!?

Too bad she's not a virgin, she could go for the TLC triple threat.

Also, that fat little gold digger is meant in life to be with the Ally commercial kid: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RiAvHPPc8M8

Submitted by TEE on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:18am.

dbl post.

Submitted by TEE on Thu, 01/05/2012 - 11:16am.

just give 100K and Id be happy. Crazy rich folk! and that kid and her Q-PON queen mother my goodness watch this mess last night, coudlnt take my eyes off the mother of this child something out of this world!