Casey Anthony Has Some Shit to Say (“Shit” Being The Key Word)

The Today Show this morning aired a video of who they’ve confirmed as the pride of Florida Waste Management, Casey Anthony, speaking into the webcam of her new computer about her life now and how she wants to start getting used to talking in front of a camera. That last part is Casey’s way of saying, “I’m ready, Jerry Springer, and bring a blank check.” While looking like Kate Gosselin’s old possum hair shit all over her head, Casey talks into the camera and doesn’t mention Caylee’s name once, but does say that she’s adopted a puppy and lets out more “me-es” than Kanye during a Twitter rant.

Casey shot this gross mess back in October and nobody knows how it somehow magically ended up splattered all over the Internet (SPOILER ALERT: The bitch leaked it herself). It’s also not known where she shot this shit. To me, it looks like Casey’s inside of a mobile office trailer on a construction site. Yes, I’ve been in plenty of mobile office trailers so I know what they look like. You can read all about it when I put out my first book: The Places Craigslist’s Casual Encounters Section Has Taken Me.

But more importantly, WHO IN LUCIFER’S REACH HELL GAVE CASEY ANTHONY A PUPPY DOG?! Does Michael Vick have an underground dog adoption agency we don’t know of?