Sadly, the gift that keeps on giving Michele Bachmann ended her presidential dreams today after coming in sixth place in last night’s Iowa Cock Ass. But Michele didn’t leave through the exit door without dropping another gem into our hungry palms. During a speech last night, Michele told her supporters that her husband, Marcus Bachmann (government name: The Fabulous Marcus Bachmann), spent the day buying doggie sunglasses on Main Street in Des Moines. The look on his face had “Oops, how did that dick get in there?” written all over it. It was perfect.
FYI: If you ever ask me where I’m going and I tell you I’m off to buy doggie sunglasses, just know that I really mean I’m off to suck dick in a Des Moines glory hole.