Open Post: Hosted By Floor Flashing
Do you ever get this spam e-mail that says shit like "Why sit at home alone? Come meet the girl of your dreams! Message me now!" and then they attach a picture of some random chick trying hard to pose sexy but she really looks like she’s trying to hold in a wet fart? Well, Courtney Stodden has a career ahead of her in that kind of modeling. That's if this whole "floor flashing" trend she's trying to start doesn't take off and she becomes the beacon of the most important movement ever. But seriously, Courtney is not only the most graceful and demure lizard in the reptile tank, but she's also the most innocent. Most of us have been doing this "floor flashing" thing for YEARS, but we call it "Saturday morning."
Source: The Reptile House of Courtney Stodden's Twitter via The Frisky
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Submitted by LaChaylo on Tue, 01/03/2012 - 10:16pm.
I'm really just curious to know who the hell writes her tweets. We all know the Lizard Child Bride and her spastic forked tongue are unfamiliar with proper English.
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Her husband, I think. Someone posted his old website and he too is a fan of overused alliteration. Reads the same.
Woo, these broads here...
--If I was your one and only friend, would you run to me if somebody hurt you, even if the somebody was me?
If she pissed in her coochie-cutters, she could almost pass for a Saints fan.
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GERONIMO!
Ahh, good news - the campaign to get the Kardasshians to pay their taxes:
http://www.couragecampaign.org/page/s/tell-kim-kardashian-to-endorse-the...
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"The universe is made of stories, not atoms."
Muriel Rukeyser, poet
Where's an ax murderer when you need one?
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"We are here on earth to do good for others.
What the others are here for, I don't know."
W.H. Auden
how has the world not ended yet?! it's time!!!
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
Qtips can be used for anything, I mean anything, from cleaning ears to buttholes to pipes...
Submitted by urmomma on Tue, 01/03/2012 - 11:01pm.
Submitted by Bjork You on Tue, 01/03/2012 - 10:51pm.
Submitted by urmomma on Tue, 01/03/2012 - 10:44pm.
Hey you, did you party like it's 1999 with your neighbors? You always make it sound like you live up the road from the people in "Deliverance" and "The Descent."
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LMOA!...*banjos play*
I have no idea what you are talkin' about! I am probably the neighbors you speak of. Damn. You want to rent a room?! *cleans out "vegitation" from basement...we can smoke that later!*
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Don't go, git back here!
Basements scare me...
well, crap. I keep refreshing and no play.....I am really going to bed this time, dammit! Be nice because I won't be back until tomorrow to read any/if any bullshit you blow me. *snickers...I said blow me!* BLOW ME...no wonder I am alone. Crap. *crawls out of thread*
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The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
The cat is cool. Thank God we already got her fixed. No need to Q tip her. I was seriously considering it, bitch in heat was no fun.
Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
This dog is a 4 lb Yorkie....so cute, a little yippy, but so sweet. She does like to kiss a lot, which I am not crazy about, but I love her to pieces.
UBF, I totally understand!!!
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Can it be I stayed away too long?
Did I leave your mind when I was gone
It's not my thing trying to get back
But this time let me tell you where I'm at
-Michael Jackson
Submitted by Bjork You on Tue, 01/03/2012 - 10:51pm.
Submitted by urmomma on Tue, 01/03/2012 - 10:44pm.
Hey you, did you party like it's 1999 with your neighbors? You always make it sound like you live up the road from the people in "Deliverance" and "The Descent."
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LMOA!...*banjos play*
I have no idea what you are talkin' about! I am probably the neighbors you speak of. Damn. You want to rent a room?! *cleans out "vegitation" from basement...we can smoke that later!*
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The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
Bjork -
HG is somewhat like Battle Royale lite, which I saw a few years ago (and should probably re-watch). A great film that was disturbing on many levels.
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Tue, 01/03/2012 - 10:51pm.
Our new kitty is a fucking traitor and is sleeping with my sis again. And i m still sitting in this cold ass playroom, cause i didn`t want to yell at my husband with my sis all up in my kool-aid. FML.
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But that's why we love cats, right?
It sucks having spousal fights with relatives around. At least the kids are used to it. No, not fuck your life, fuck him.
I am watching "Forgetting Sarah Marshall."
Did you find that weed stash?
PSL, We took in a dog last night and gave it back tonight....a chiahahahahahaha (sp?). That cute 'lil shit took 5 pisses on my carpet and on turd in my floor! I would have kept the 'lil bastard, but knew his afmily would care. I had my neighbor (the walker...he is mentally challenged...ADD, BIPOLAR, mom used drugs before sent her stoopit ass to the pen...CHALLENGED! a short bus picks him up for "work" daily and gets along fine with my 10 and 5 yr old...)anyhoo, it was kinda sad. My dogs hated it until about 5 hours later when I took them all out for a piss at 100 am. Then they played "king of the beanbag" for 20 minutes. The small dog (SMALL chiahahahahaha a boy tried to hump my male dog for dominance) and they were happy. BUT! I am happy to report that we returned the 'lil shit to it's owner, a 4 yr old and they were soooo happy to see each other, it was sweet. Taco bell reunited and it felt so good.
Now, on that stoppit story, I am going to bed.
*misses stoopit, cute, pissin' dog*
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The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
PSL, i wouldn`t mind telling you, but i hate to leave troll-food out like that. It was serious shit. Not just a "you suck, no you suck".
Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
It's only 9:00 here. I'll be here for a little while. Care to share what is going on in the argument? No worries if not.
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Can it be I stayed away too long?
Did I leave your mind when I was gone
It's not my thing trying to get back
But this time let me tell you where I'm at
-Michael Jackson
Our new kitty is a fucking traitor and is sleeping with my sis again. And i m still sitting in this cold ass playroom, cause i didn`t want to yell at my husband with my sis all up in my kool-aid. FML.
Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Submitted by urmomma on Tue, 01/03/2012 - 10:44pm.
Hey you, did you party like it's 1999 with your neighbors? You always make it sound like you live up the road from the people in "Deliverance" and "The Descent."
Well, hello there, PSL and urmomma. I thought me and the Bjorker were the only nightowls for a second. I will be HURTING tomorrow, but i am too ampted up to sleep.
Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Tue, 01/03/2012 - 10:39pm.
Bjork, i m exhausted from arguing and want to smoke a cig so bad, but not enough to stand outside at 29 fucking degrees.
What`s going on in your world?
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So no smoking in 2012? The cold weather is now your friend!
Does pot count? I will take a toke for you now. Hey, dont' you have that pot in your freezer? Smoke that shit up, UBF.
UBF, I am here too. Ran down the street to pick up my friend's dog. She is out of town until tomorrow night. Her ex husband (it is HIS dog too) thought it would be okay to spend a half hour with her, and leave her again until I walked her tomorrow morning. Poor thing would have been alone for 14-15 hrs.
She is sleeping with me and my baby girl tonight. Fuck that, I can't leave her alone that long.
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Can it be I stayed away too long?
Did I leave your mind when I was gone
It's not my thing trying to get back
But this time let me tell you where I'm at
-Michael Jackson
*takes head out of ass and waves at bjorky and UBF!*
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The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
Submitted by Sweetas on Tue, 01/03/2012 - 3:38pm.
Swoooooooooooon *proposes to Oxygen*
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WTH!!!!??? What are we mormon, sister-wives!????
Ooooh, I don't give a shit as long as I have you to mahself part of the day. NOW! git in that kitchen and make me a sammich! Nooooo. Don't. I will make it mahself. I know you are tired from loving too many whores (says number one whore) in a day. Whore lovin' is hard work....and unless you are good, pays for shit.
p.s. I like Cool ranch doritos with mayo and cheese doritos with my mustard sammiches.
Just sayin'.... if you fee like like it and shit.
OR!
Just take off your bra and we are even-stevens!
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The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
Not really. It was more a game of : how can i turn this into blaming YOU? He can fuck himself with a rusty chainsaw.
Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
I'm sure the whole I Will Not List of Resolutions was batted around.
I'm curious, really: what is something that you did last year that you intend to keep doing in 2012?
Bjork, i m exhausted from arguing and want to smoke a cig so bad, but not enough to stand outside at 29 fucking degrees.
What`s going on in your world?
Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
I'm here, slut.
Cappy...late to partay as usual...You are one of my favorites. I do not know what that means in life, but I do know that you have made me love you..."made" = can't help mahself. I do not know what is happenin' in your world, but in mine, you fucking rock. I want the best for you and yours. I know this may mean very little,but in my tiny world, you are mine. MINE! MINE! MINE! DAMMIT! *stands in Cappy's corner for all that it is worth...* I will tape wash rags onto every corner you bump into...*we did this with my mother-in-law who bumped into her own damn cabinets(don't ask, just go with me)! NO MORE BooBoohs! *lovingly paces hello kitteh band aides on you* <3
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The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
Anybody still up? Fucking lazy whores.
Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
SANS,
It is my loyalty to "Battle Royale" that has me thumbing my nose at "The Hunger Games."
PSL - I picked up the trilogy on the Kindle after seeing a preview for the movie version. So far the first book is really addictive. 1984 meets Battle Royale meets American Gladiators meets Survivor...or something like that, anyway.
I'm looking at the cast on IMDB now. Lenny Kravitz is slated to play Cinna the hairstylist...ha ha!
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
Hello? Anybody home?
Submitted by LaChaylo on Tue, 01/03/2012 - 10:16pm.
I'm really just curious to know who the hell writes her tweets. We all know the Lizard Child Bride and her spastic forked tongue are unfamiliar with proper English.
I'm really, really hoping it isn't one of her parents.
(((cappy))) gf, life beats the alternative, amirite?? Barely sometimes I know. Hold in there, for every low another high is on the way. xoxoxo
I'm really just curious to know who the hell writes her tweets. We all know the Lizard Child Bride and her spastic forked tongue are unfamiliar with proper English.
Sans Fards, I loved the 1st book, liked the 2nd a lot, only liked the 3rd.
will not see the movie, where everyone looks clean and pristine, even though they are fighting to the death. what bullshit.
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Can it be I stayed away too long?
Did I leave your mind when I was gone
It's not my thing trying to get back
But this time let me tell you where I'm at
-Michael Jackson
OK really I need to stop with the acid...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrT_guqBIvU&feature=related
Courtney really needs to try a little harder! LOL!
The Hunger Games is crack. I'm hooked. I was a little skeptical at first because I don't usually like that Children of Men spooky dystopian stuff, but the book is really good so far. Recommended for you sluts...it's a fast read.
_______________________________________________
Never question Bruce Dickinson!
Oh my. This poor tragic child.
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
So 2012 is a leap year...Feb.29 wierdos get to have Bday this year! Oh speaking of Bdays...Stephen Stills one of the all time greats.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVW9sOsXAjU&feature=related
*waves at undie*
ETA - looks like a quiet night around here tonight. Is everyone still recovering from NYE?
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Point taken. I should say as rugged as I like. Too rugged and they get into 'dad' territory for me. -- Fishy, 12/29/11.
So far, so good Caps. Of course, we're only 3 days into the new year, so I still have 362 left to screw up! Hope you're feeling better soon, it sounds like the last couple of weeks have been rough.
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Point taken. I should say as rugged as I like. Too rugged and they get into 'dad' territory for me. -- Fishy, 12/29/11.
Submitted by catholicschoolgirl on Tue, 01/03/2012 - 9:21pm.
Trust yourself
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{{{CSGGGG}}} Glad to have the honor of running into the wise sage tonight of sessayness. xo Miss you. Thanks for the advise, seriously. Hope you are doing fine?
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"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." Christopher Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP Winehouse,1983-2011) *caprica six was/is here*
(((hugs Cappy)))
Trust yourself Cappy and the questions will answer themselves.
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Point taken. I should say as rugged as I like. Too rugged and they get into 'dad' territory for me. -- Fishy, 12/29/11.
Dis be OP?? Life has been so fk'd the last few days that I stumble into and out of shit, stumble around driving; stumble at the office and just generally don't know what the fuck I am doing. I hate the damn complexities of life, particularly in the realm of relationships and morality. That is all.
No that is not all, the other thing is that you guys stay golden. What a way to end a year. What the fuck does all this mean? And more importantly, who/why give a fuck if we all are only moving in "one direction"? I don't know what to trust.
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"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." Christopher Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP Winehouse,1983-2011) *caprica six was/is here*
the Linoleum is more sexy than she is
Blerg. Worst PTA Meeting. Treasurer didn't even have her report written. What's up bitches?
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Tue, 01/03/2012 - 4:01pm
Momus also cringes and scream at the TV when the contestants or Trebek mispronounce Latin.
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Thank God I'm not the only one......it's a hard life out here for a nerd.
Oxygen...lmfao @ your tree for every season & you on new years day!!! :D
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.