And Now, Some Marital Advice From Kyle Richards

January 3, 2012 / Posted by:

If any of the Richards sisters should get a book deal it’s that spastic rouge stain Kim Richards and her book should be titled: 101 Excuses You Can Use To Get Out Of Leaving Your Damn House. But for some bizarre reason, Kyle Richards is the one putting out a book that literally nobody will read. Maybe the discount bin at Barnes & Nobles needs filling. I don’t know, but in Kyle’s stupid book she drops corroded pearls of dumb wisdom on marriage and cheating. Kyle thinks that if you should “accidentally” fall on the lubed-up fuck parts of a piece that isn’t your spouse, you should swallow that secret and take it to your grave. Kyle and her husband of 17 years Mauricio were on Good Morning America (via UsWeekly) today and she explained what she meant by that shit:

“I’ve seen circumstances with people that I know are in love with their spouse and they made one mistake and I said — this is somebody that I know, nobody that anybody knows here, ‘Listen, if this really was a one time mistake, and you did not put this person in jeopardy,’ I personally think you should deal with it with yourself and with God and not go and say: ‘Honey look what I did,’ because I knew that this would ruin their relationship and their life.

And I can tell you that many, many, many years later they’re happy and together and she did make that mistake and she has to carry that and live with that.”

First of all, why is this free lunch version of Demi Moore giving marital advice? The only advice this ho should be giving is how to pick the perfect pair of sunglasses to make you look like a deranged bee from the future (seriously, all of her sunglasses are so fug). But I guess what Kyle is really trying to tell us is that Mauricio’s dick is covered in the remnants of dried side piece juice. What Kyle is also trying to tell us is that if a tree fucks your husband in the forest and no one is around to hear it, it doesn’t make a sound.

So the moral of the story is, don’t let your husband go into the forest unless you don’t care if he fucks tree. Right?

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