And Now, Some Marital Advice From Kyle Richards
If any of the Richards sisters should get a book deal it's that spastic rouge stain Kim Richards and her book should be titled: 101 Excuses You Can Use To Get Out Of Leaving Your Damn House. But for some bizarre reason, Kyle Richards is the one putting out a book that literally nobody will read. Maybe the discount bin at Barnes & Nobles needs filling. I don't know, but in Kyle's stupid book she drops corroded pearls of dumb wisdom on marriage and cheating. Kyle thinks that if you should "accidentally" fall on the lubed-up fuck parts of a piece that isn't your spouse, you should swallow that secret and take it to your grave. Kyle and her husband of 17 years Mauricio were on Good Morning America (via UsWeekly) today and she explained what she meant by that shit:
"I've seen circumstances with people that I know are in love with their spouse and they made one mistake and I said -- this is somebody that I know, nobody that anybody knows here, 'Listen, if this really was a one time mistake, and you did not put this person in jeopardy,' I personally think you should deal with it with yourself and with God and not go and say: 'Honey look what I did,' because I knew that this would ruin their relationship and their life.And I can tell you that many, many, many years later they're happy and together and she did make that mistake and she has to carry that and live with that."
First of all, why is this free lunch version of Demi Moore giving marital advice? The only advice this ho should be giving is how to pick the perfect pair of sunglasses to make you look like a deranged bee from the future (seriously, all of her sunglasses are so fug). But I guess what Kyle is really trying to tell us is that Mauricio's dick is covered in the remnants of dried side piece juice. What Kyle is also trying to tell us is that if a tree fucks your husband in the forest and no one is around to hear it, it doesn't make a sound.
So the moral of the story is, don't let your husband go into the forest unless you don't care if he fucks tree. Right?
• 
A deranged bee from the future!
This is the 21st century. Why don't these women have jobs? Have they NO marketable skills?
Are there really any women out there under the age of 60 that don't cringe in shame to be referred to as a "housewife"?
I don't know who this broad is, but I agree.
Why are Kyle and Adrienne always wearing mumu's at the beach? They don't look fat. Brandi and Camille are prancing around practically naked and those two are in burkas!
Submitted by Migraineuse on Tue, 01/03/2012 - 8:33pm.
Nobody wants to be cheated on. Wives have lower status than their husbands, are usually financially dependent, and have much more to lose if there is a divorce.
well who's fault is that?
Oh yes by all means, take that shit to the grave! You wouldn't want to ruin your mealticketslashgravy train!! *EYEROLL* I hate this slag.
~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♥~♦¤♦~♥~
FANTA FANTA, NO COKE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lnRDU4LdZE
Meat Loaf was in the middle of a show when his knees suddenly hit the stage floor like a narcoleptic bat out of hell ~MK
Centaurious:
Well that's different. If you're in a small town, you've gotta fuck what you can.
Livestock included!
***************************************
Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
Breakdown, you are so completely and totally right. Attractiveness is very personal. The people I consider attractive are usually not considered attractive by the majority of people.
However, my point was usually very conservative people are judgmental, and it's like, Hello! It's easy to see why you are still together, you live in a small town and are both ugly.
Enough said.
________________________________
GERONIMO!
Centaurious:
Are you serious? Because for everyone that you consider ugly...someone else might consider hot.
People cheat if the opportunity presents itself in a way they think they can get away with if they are so inclined.
***************************************
Facebook: Triston Negreaux
http://www.myspace.com/triston
ask me how to subscribe to Heaux Confessionals©
Well. She's right, and most importantly for a famewhore, thinking about her place in the will of her husband as she pontificates!
Seriously, it's only ugly people who are faithful. They have no opportunities.
_________________________________
GERONIMO!
The Richards sisters wen no where after their childhood and the are both trying so hard to become important again in Show Business!
Kim has bottomed out and Kyle has decided to take the fact the she apparently found a good man and wants to rub our faces in it.
Dear Kim, I just celebrated my 40th anniversary, so when your 17 comes close to that, we will talk. When his hair starts falling out and the real estate market tanks and you have children moving home with a kid or two and menopause has you sweating buckets three or four times a day and Maurico says, "Not tonight honey, I;m really tired and Darling Portis decides she wants to get everything pierced and the gray hairs don;t seem to be stopping their assault on you....THEN you write a book about how you are so easily able to do it all. perfectly, by yourself.
I wish you luck!
She was in a Lifetime movie, it was on the air a few weeks ago. It stars Charisma Carpenter doing her turn in the "Dead Ringer" genre, and Kyle plays this low-life who is in cahoots with Carpenter's evil twin. Anyway, it's great when her character is pushed into a meat freezer and locked inside to suffocate.
this is why MK's writing takes the fucking cake.
"What Kyle is also trying to tell us is that if a tree fucks your husband in the forest and no one is around to hear it, it doesn't make a sound.
So the moral of the story is, don't let your husband go into the forest unless you don't care if he fucks tree."
priceless.
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
Submitted by Lope on Tue, 01/03/2012 - 10:16pm.
Submitted by squiggles on Tue, 01/03/2012 - 9:24pm.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Tue, 01/03/2012 - 8:17pm.
****
I realize she's not a Hilton but I think she does look just like Kathy and Paris. Also, their and her fame/notoriety appears to hinge on the Hilton name so I lump them all together. I very much doubt Kyle would be on this show were it not for that association.
Submitted by squiggles on Tue, 01/03/2012 - 9:24pm.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Tue, 01/03/2012 - 8:17pm.
I don't watch RHBH all that much but I hardly think a bajillionaire TV star with a whole lot of resources at her disposal should get credit for "doing it all." gimme a break. Show me a single mom who works two jobs, puts a healthy meal on the table, completes a college degree at night school, and still has time to check her kids' homework...that's "doing it all."
****
Kyle looks JUST like all the rest of those beak-nosed Hiltons
---------
Well, she does have four kids and has never had a nanny, and she does essentially work two jobs. She's also not a Hilton. She's not at all related to them. Her (much) older sister married one. That's as far as that association goes. She does quite a lot, and she still manages to look pretty good. I dig her.
WTF does "...made one mistake and I said -- this is somebody that I know, nobody that anybody knows here, 'Listen, if this really was a one time mistake, and you did not put this person in jeopardy,' I personally think you should deal with it with yourself and with God..." HERE WE GO AGAIN WITH "RECONCILING" SHIT WITH "THE GOD ON THE CLOUD".
....and so we let the dumb bitch continue: "...And I can tell you that many, many, many years later they're happy and together and she did make that mistake and she has to carry that and live with that."
"Many, many, many years later". Is that in hobbit years? Is that in Old Testament 400 year life-span years? Where you ever in those "years" "experiencing" that length of time? What the fuck were you saying again??? That's right, nothing is what you were saying. Fuck off.
____
"Discussions about what is good, beautiful, noble, pure, true, could always go on. Why is that important? Because that is the only conversation worth having." Christopher Hitchens,1949-2011. (RIP Winehouse,1983-2011) *caprica six was/is here*
tree fucking?? I am not about to deal with this new fad. It's better to clear-cut than watch the defiling of the forest by these low lifes. Where is Smokey Bear???
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Tue, 01/03/2012 - 8:17pm.
I don't watch RHBH all that much but I hardly think a bajillionaire TV star with a whole lot of resources at her disposal should get credit for "doing it all." gimme a break. Show me a single mom who works two jobs, puts a healthy meal on the table, completes a college degree at night school, and still has time to check her kids' homework...that's "doing it all."
****
Goopy is one of these. She can "do it all", including maintaining her backyard pizza oven and answering the door for that trollish professional trainer so they can work out for 4 hrs. Then she calls the rest of us lazy and jealous because we're not doing the same. Thing is, aside from her Goop followers, I don't think the public buys it for one second.
Kyle looks JUST like all the rest of those beak-nosed Hiltons.
Nobody wants to be cheated on. Wives have lower status than their husbands, are usually financially dependent, and have much more to lose if there is a divorce.
Some of these wives will lie to themselves (and to other women) and act like it's OK. They aren't powerful enough to challenge male behavior, and they know they'll get punished if they try. So they stand by their cheating spouses and rationalize away what they do.
Glad I don't own a TV.
*______________________________________*
"This is so over the top the director must be a Sherpa." -- Who Datt
Submitted by ritzyroxie on Tue, 01/03/2012 - 3:14pm.
I read that book a long time ago, and if even half of it is right, then the Hiltons are infused with sociopathic evil.
Submitted by IrishFury on Tue, 01/03/2012 - 3:23pm.
Yech, is there some kind of "evil narcissistic famewhore" association with the poor abused letter K?
*********
I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
I actually like her. She has a great sense of humor and seems like she'd be fun to hang out with. And her husband is hot as hell.
I don't watch RHBH all that much but I hardly think a bajillionaire TV star with a whole lot of resources at her disposal should get credit for "doing it all." gimme a break. Show me a single mom who works two jobs, puts a healthy meal on the table, completes a college degree at night school, and still has time to check her kids' homework...that's "doing it all."
_______________________________________________
Never question Bruce Dickinson!
Who and why.
"Free lunch version of Demi Moore...." LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! One can only hope that this ridiculous excuse for reading material goes directly to the $.99 bin at B&N. She could always go into modeling.....I'm sure there's a market for those man-hands.
Who the fuck is this spent condom trying to kid?
SweetB: I know, Camille is much more likable. I HATED her at first. Not that I watch it much anymore.
But I hate Lisa, too. Not as much as Taylor but I dont like her at all.
Nice juxtaposition of the "keeping it real with a housewife who does it all" and the toddler vacuuming. THIS. BITCH.
"Two scoops of crazy with a side of coo-coo-catchoo"
When did this mean girl bitch decide she was some sort of authority on these subjects? She's just as delusional as the rest. She has no redeeming human qualities at all. She constantly make everything about her, with her fake crying and outbursts. I would love it if Brandi kicked the shit out of this loud mouth low class bitch. Get her Brandi!
Every time I watch this show I walk away feeling very fortunate to have the life I have...the money would be nice, but I am doing just fine without it. When I get together with mah gurls, we laugh and have a good time. We do not speak ugly about one another in front of or behind each others backs. We love each other and it feels that way when we are together. We also do not blow smoke up each others asses...and if my spouse cheats on me, he does not get a pass. WTF get married if you want to fuck single?! This is what bathrooom time, porn and masturbation is for. Assholes.
*********************
The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
Nice ducklips.
______________________________________________
Never question Bruce Dickinson!
I'm pretty sure she cheated on him a couple of times, but I'm mos def sure he's has 1000's of times... He's hot, I'd hit it myself..
_______________
No means No dammit.
I automatically hate books that have the title "Life is Not a (Insert Noun) Here" and whose tag-lines include the most overused word in any language on Earth, "real". Yeah, bitch, we KNOW that life is not a fairy tale/reality show/whatever. Tell us something that we don't know. No, really. If life is not a reality show, then what in the affirmative is it?! I'd have more respect for Ms. Richards if she had come out with a book with the title "My Life Is Better Than Yours, So Fuck You".
I really never had an opinion about this bitch until this current season of RH. She absolutely thrives on the conflict of the other women, and is not happy unless she is entrenched in someone else's drama, feigning her great concern. She is so incredibly fake, and her life is so boring, she needs that drama. For example when she had to kick Taylor out of her party...all of her tears, running around and posturing. Oh pleeeeze, bitch. She loved every minute of it. I'll bet Russell's death was the social event of the season for her and she loved the drama surrounding that. She's truly despicable, like Taylor.
Who???
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"If I had a gun, I'd shoot a hole into the sun, and love would burn this city down for you. If I had the time, I'd stop the world and make you mine,and everyday would stay the same with you."
IrishFury: House of Hilton: From Conrad to Paris: A Drama of Wealth, Power, and Privilege (by Jerry Oppenheimer).
I've written about that book here before. It's the reason I watched their show for awhile; in order to see for myself if the Richards sisters were as cunty/superficial as described. They are. In spades.
***********************************************
"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
@Hekki--IDK this season I am kinda starting to like Camille. When she called out Fish Lips (aka Taylor) on her wack ass marriage and telling everyone all of her business...she found a place in my heart. And I gotta tell you I love the absolute cuntiness of Lisa LOL
I think Kyle keeps her hair this long because - even after all these years - she is still jealous of her sister and Kim's previous "Disney" career. I was watching Tuff Turf the other day (don't judge) as I love me some James Spader. Kim Richards had gorgeous, long, thick, golden (crimped) waves in the 80s. Meanwhile, I have only seen Kyle as an extra on ER. "They need you in Trauma 2, Dr. Carter." She had a different nose, soccer mom hair for realz, and a bigger butt but it was Kyle. You know Kyle was jealous of her sis back in the day. Now that Kim's a crackhead, I hope Kyle can learn to let the hair envy - and a few inches - go.
_____________________________________________
"When I come up, I rush, I rush for you..."
Well I agree with her advice 100%. Why hurt the person you love (any further) by burdening them with your shitty mistake? Keep your shit to yourself and don't do it again.
Mauricio is hot but I'll bet a million bucks he spreads it around. It almost makes me feel sorry for Kyle. Almost.
What I feel for Kyle is what I feel for Khloe K. She's the most tolerable out of a bunch of goat turds. It's all relative, you see.
Teresa from New Jersey has the only book you could force me to buy. At least it has recipes.
Poor Mauricio and his kids whom are all Mexican, I bet they get called every racial slur under the sun by those Hilton in-laws.
Submitted by IrishFury on Tue, 01/03/2012 - 3:23pm.
Ritzie, thanks for the link, it looks interesting aside from all the Paris stuff. I'd love a book on Kim, Kathy and Kyle.
Oh my God - they're like the fucking Kardashians with the K names, I just realized!
---apparently it's very common with narcissistic parent/s (who breed up narcissistic kids). It's another form of control.
My NPD ex mother-in-law chose all "N" names.
**shudders**
Ritzie, thanks for the link, it looks interesting aside from all the Paris stuff. I'd love a book on Kim, Kathy and Kyle.
Oh my God - they're like the fucking Kardashians with the K names, I just realized!
________________________________
Dark-sided!
Submitted by IrishFury on Tue, 01/03/2012 - 2:40pm.
Kyle is def. the best looking and most natural of all the BH housewives
---SIDE EYE THE PADDY-O, ahem, natural?
The more you see of these women, the madder and freakier. Lisa Vanderwhatsit - her constantly greasy glistening lips give me heartburn, while the rest of her face is completely bloody frozen. A bit like her personality.
They are much better suited to still photographs IMO, and some not at all i.e. Taylor Armstrong & her dearly departed = Olive Oil & Popeye.
There is one person who could use more plastic surgery - Adrienne Maloof's husband. It's no wonder she has trouble looking him in the face, of an orangutan.
Russell Brand back in 1994:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/02/russell-brand-in-mud-bbc-_n_117...
Submitted by IrishFury on Tue, 01/03/2012 - 2:55pm.
IrishFury, I read this book about them years ago:
http://www.amazon.com/House-Hilton-Conrad-Wealth-Privilege/dp/0307337227
Big Kathy(as their mother was known) was a putrid stage mom on WO's level.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A beauty that makes abuelitas pray for our sinful souls is my kind of beauty. -MK 9/12/11
YAAAAAAASS! -Sage Khia
This whore is as bad as Kathy Hilton. Both put on airs and like to give the hard impression that they were born into an old wealthy family when they were actually brought up lower middle class. I remember Kathy's show called something like "So You Want To Be A Hilton" or some such crap. It involved teaching the "contestants" how to act like a society woman. The trouble is real society people - the ones from old money - want nothing to do with Kathy or Rick Hilton because despite his being semi-old money, they both act like trash and they brought their kids up to act the same way. The show tanked during the first season, I think.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
I think Camille hinted last season on RHOBH that he steps out on Kyle. Of course, that's when she and Kyle were feuding and couldn't stand each other so I dunno how true it is.
On her hair: I love her hair but she could do with having it a little shorter. It makes her look frumpy with its length.
Well aren't you just carrying around a big bag of nothing!
TrashyWilma
(or anyone)
The Richards sisters talk about their mom like she was such an amazing mother -is there a book on their childhood or more about this mom? I've only heard rumours.
________________________________
Dark-sided!
Kyle and her sisters were shoved into Hollywood at a young age by an insufferable stage mom who taught her daughters how to marry wealthy men.
Yeah, I'll take love advice from you, Kyle.
http://smellmybutt.tumblr.com/
Who is this moll?
Does it look like I've given up the meth?
Tevness.