Retha & Catfish Are Getting Married!

All of you need to do what Aretha Franklin’s 8th world wonder chichis are doing in that picture above by hitting the ground to pay tribute to her and Catfish’s love. After years and years of nearly drowning in her endless sea of chichis by motorboating without an anchor, Aretha’s “forever friend” William “Catfish” Wilkerson has finally slipped a ring on her skinny ass finger and asked to become her third husband. People has the details from the lips of Retha and her rep about the wedding of the year:

The iconic singer, 69, and Wilkerson are discussing tying the knot on Miami Beach, with an exclusive reception aboard a private yacht.

And for her dress?

“Ms. Franklin is considering Donna Karan, Valentino and the queen of wedding dresses, Vera Wang, to design her gown,” says her rep.

Adds Franklin herself of the upcoming nuptials: “We’re looking at June or July for our date and no, I’m not pregnant, LOL!”

Last year, millions of nipple slits made a frown when Aretha Franklin was hospitalized with some kind of “mysterious illness,” so I’m going to turn off my bitch switch for a quick second and throw out a calorie-free congratulations to the soon to be Mrs. Catfish! Wait. That’s why Retha’s marrying his ass. Since she has to stay away from fried catfish to keep her new body, she figures if you can’t beat ’em, take their name. Go on, Mrs. Catfish!