Hot Slut Of The Day!

January 1, 2012 / Posted by:

This will be my second and last post of the day, because my ass has been traveling all morning and I’ll be traveling the rest of the day before I get home and shrivel down into a puddle of McDonald’s salt and dried Starbucks foam. But I couldn’t do that before paying proper homage to the first and probably hottest slut of 2012: TEDDY BEAR!

Teddy Bear became an instant worldwide star when he entertained all of us by NOMing the shit out of a corn on the cob while sounding like a baby Ewok trying to gargle and mouth fart at the same time. Then he came back hard with both a Thanksgiving and Christmas greeting. And now Teddy’s wishing you a Happy NOM Year and re-enacting your NYE, because I’m sure you spent your night getting drunk on corn, knocking down bottles and slapping at champagne bottles like a true belligerent drunk bitch.

Today, Teddy’s breaking bottles and tomorrow he’ll be beating his assistants with a BlackBerry and getting kicked out of Chateau Marmont for slapping his gayelle lover. We don’t need the likes of Lindsay Lohan, now that we’ve got Teddy. 2012 is truly the year of Teddy (which means that 2012 is truly the year where the most entertaining thing will be a yappy porcupine doing the exact same thing while wearing a different hat)!

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