Katy Made Russell File Because Of Jesus

TMZ says that the reason Russell Brand filed for divorce yesterday and not Katy Perry is because she didn't want her super-religious parents slapping her with their King James. That's a bible, not a dildo brand.

Since Katy's parents are evangelical Christians, we're told she didn't want to be the one to "officially" end the marriage by filing the docs ... since she was raised to believe divorce is wrong.

So are stunt weddings. Her parents' values didn't seem to concern her too much when she MARRIED his ass. Or when her first hit song was about dyking it out. Also - someone told me that (no, "someone" isn't me, I was at a Miley Cyrus show that night) at her concert she talks about giving head and her audience's average age is pretty much 12. Smurfette is riding a cherry-picker when it comes to her Christian values.

They also reportedly have had divorce on deck for a couple of weeks after realizing their marriage "just wasn't there".

They were an incongruous couple, right? She tries way to hard to be Rainbow Brite or whatever and he looks like he was born from an oil slick. People tell me he's funny? My problem is that I can't watch Get Him To The Greek to find out because Jonah Hill's in it. Jonah Hill is the worst. Both versions - depressed mastadon and neurotic Gollum. Didn't have lap band, my fat Irish ass!

This divorce story could all be a filthy lie. The real reason Russell was the one to file could be because his wife is terrible. And exhausting. Argh, the costumes, and the wigs, and the big candy props. Desperation Tour 2011.

Speaking of desperation - here's where I plug Manhunt Daily! One of the only reasons my Manhunt bosses let me come over here to help Michael K. out was because I promised to throw a plug into each of my posts. Free advertising! Unfortunately, I, err, forgot to include a few. So before they spank me (literally, it's Manhunt) and then fire me, click a link if you like dick or seeing pictures of it.

Posted by: J. Harvey

•

Katy Perry • Russell Brand

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Submitted by wisers deluxe on Thu, 01/12/2012 - 12:36am.

fuck i swear watching them kiss was like watching michael J. and lisa Presley kiss, something not right...the sham has ended....who did they think they fooled? watching katy perry on E other night..dam she rehearsed..they should fire their pr's..she has talent..russell brand still wondering whoe's cock to suck next for a career move...

Submitted by P.T.Bull on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 3:46pm.

From what I understand, Brand is outspokenly anti-christian, so he must be packing some big salmon for her to tie the knot--and she knew that going in, so that excuse is bs. Looks like he will get lots of millions from her. I figured she just realized what a filthy pig he is, and only has to pay 30 million for the failure in judgement.

Submitted by HellaciousB on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 3:19pm.

Great post, honey!

Submitted by karen on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 9:57am.

" Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer"..William S. Burroughs

i too thought i would hate "get him to the greek" btw i HATE marijuana. do not smoke it, but tried it back in the day. so, not a stoner or a drinker. yet i still loved "get him to the greek" i think the guy is funny. but my fave brit has to be eddie izzard. loooooove him

Submitted by Bjork You on Sun, 01/01/2012 - 9:56am.

"it ain't awesome until flatts shits on it.

=======

Let's keep peddling past ... "

awwww, mom! (*stares o-faced out back window*)
heh heh
hey, speaking of air freshners, i got this fucked up one as a gift. it's a pic of nelson mandella and it says "damn, nelson, you smell so good". i haven't opened it so i don't know what it smells like.
it sits with my others that include two from 1992, ren & stimpy "foulers".
i thought about putting them on ebay.
-bah. (someday i'll need them and/or they'll be worth billion$)
;^D

===========

The Nelson Mandela Air Freshener?

What's next, The Papa Doc Tupperware line?

Anyway, it's the new year, 2012, you don't want to start off hoarding

Submitted by Gigaboob on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 11:42pm.

My God! It's like J. Harvey read my mind! Jonah Hill IS the worst!

Submitted by shandi on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 10:57pm.

Submitted by WWJDFAKB on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 12:57pm.

I recently came up with a theory that just about every pothead has seen Get Him To The Greek. Mention something about a Jeffery and furry walls, and they will know exactly what you are talking about.

****************************

I have seen that movie so many times and I have the soundtrack now and love every song on it. But I have NEVER smoked weed or done an illegal drug EVER. And I am fricking 42 years old! I love the movie and the songs and Russell. He is intelligent (believe it or not) and admits to his flaws and is brutally honest and funny. I also believe he is going to be very sad over this (like Aldous was sad in the movie over breaking up with Jackie). I have a feeling that this whole divorce thing is really upsetting to him and wasn't expected.

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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK

Submitted by shandi on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 10:50pm.

I'm starting to think the whole Russell/Katy thing is going to be a replay of the Aldous Snow/Jackie Q thing in the movie Get Him To The Greek. I'm seeing lots of similarities here. Let's just hope Russell doesn't go on a drug/booze/sex binge. That wouldn't be good.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK

Submitted by electrique on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 8:04pm.

Submitted by KA on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 6:39pm.

J. Harvey was awesome. def have him back. I don't remember seeing him in the comments or posting self-serving sign off posts and his posts felt original.

_____

I agree. It was painful reading the other person's stuff. They tried too hard.

Submitted by literarylioness on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 6:10pm.

Submitted by liverwurst on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 6:35pm.
Divorce isn't wrong, marriage is. I think we should make people jump thru fiery hoops to get married.
____________________________________________________
I co-sign on this and licenses to have kids! If it took as long to get married as it does to divorce, we wouldn't be having so many of these stories.

Submitted by Madam Pince on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 5:14pm.

Russell, give me a call. I'll hit you all day long, from every angle.

J.Harvey, I loved you, Sweetas and Lahoma!

**************************************************

"And to the commentator who snarked that Boston can't be a drinking city because we don't have a legal happy hour - think again, chief. We work around that shit."

Submitted by KA on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 5:09pm.

J. Harvey was awesome. def have him back. I don't remember seeing him in the comments or posting self-serving sign off posts and his posts felt original.

Submitted by liverwurst on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 5:05pm.

Divorce isn't wrong, marriage is. I think we should make people jump thru fiery hoops to get married.

Submitted by Pap Junkie on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 4:52pm.

*goes to look at dicks on Manhunt*

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me too! haha

Submitted by Sayonara on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 4:10pm.

Submitted by literarylioness on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 5:19pm.
...It must sting, but you can always make an album about it like your buddy Taylor Swift does."
__________________________________________________

Please don't give her any ideas.

(973) Jersey Strong

Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 3:51pm.

Submitted by Migraineuse on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 12:52pm.

Nothing like religion to bring out the woman haters.

*______________________________________

*facepalm*

any excuse to throw that out there. ANY EXCUSE.

**************************************************
I've got a feeling, I'm going to get a lot of grief
Once this seemed so appealing
Now I am beyond belief
-Elvis Costello

Submitted by literarylioness on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 3:49pm.

PLEASE! If she cared so much about her parents, she would put clothes on and write better lyrics. She got married in a Hindu ceremony for Pete's sakes! I'm more insulted this crap came out because it treats the public like idiots. Here is a message for Katy: "Sorry you got dumped like that on New Year's. It must sting, but you can always make an album about it like your buddy Taylor Swift does."

Submitted by angel_i on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 3:40pm.

Dearest MANHUNT J. Harvey

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Arentcha gonna sign off too so we can do that properly? Or - you're still here? Well, thank you anyway for keeping us amused while MK selfishly takes time for himself. Honestly - I don't know how he could have kept up with all that Katy Perry news without you! SERIOUSLY!....

Ummmm...does manhunt have a section for women? It's a THING! I'm not kidding~!

♥ Threadkilla!
"god bless, buy my single!"~Courtney Stodden

Submitted by Hotmami on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 2:23pm.

Add me to the list of people that would bang Russell.

********************************************
Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac

Submitted by Andrei on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 2:16pm.

I've been puzzled since day one as to how this chick ever got a record label. "I Kissed a Girl and Liked It" had somewhat fun lyrics... but her singing voice made me turn her off every time. Bleh.

Submitted by Hotmami on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 2:10pm.

Bullshit. She just want the world to know that she got dumped.

*******************************************
Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac

Submitted by 18thCenturyFox on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 2:07pm.

I wanted to hate Get Him to the Greek rather badly but I've seen it more times then I care to acknowlege. If I recall, Katy's parents expressed concern about the union and looked really uncomfortable at their Indian wedding, which was no end of funny to me. She came from a sheltered background but clearly was racing to the slutathon finish line. Yes she grew up religious but she's from CA originally and I get the feeling the family is a steaming pile of hypocrisy. Kinda like Dita Von Teese stretching it for the porn cameras and then pretending she was nothing but Frenchified K-L-A-S-S when she had enough money and trappings for plausible deniability. And I like Von Teese, but sows ear/ silk purse and all that.

"This better be important Jack, I was bidding on a bag of bras on ebay."
Liz Lemon

Submitted by SANS FARDS on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 2:04pm.

Submitted by jussayin on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 1:16pm.
I Quit This Bitch And I Liked It
by Russell Brand

_____________________________________________

ha ha ha!

_______________________________________________

Never question Bruce Dickinson!

Submitted by justincase on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 1:43pm.

Slutty, fake, opportunistic, entitled, grande bouffe liars and famewhores. They should be fluushed like their faux marriage.

Submitted by Meatblocks on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 1:38pm.

"it ain't awesome until flatts shits on it.

=======

Let's keep peddling past ... "

*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kei83nNbrFY&feature=related

Submitted by Get Serious on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 1:35pm.

Oh yeah. Right. She's SO concerned about her evangelical parents. Sure. She was so concerned about them that she sang songs about kissing girls & lesbianism. She was so concerned that she goes on stage with her tits basically hanging out for all dudes to slobber over. She was so concerned that she married a hard core heroin addict & admitted sex addict who banged every ho in hollywood. Oh, yeah; she's definitely concerned about her parents.

I hate lies & the liars that tell them...

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"There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer

Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 1:23pm.

Submitted by little_rascal on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 12:36pm.
Submitted by ImpertinentVixen on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 12:17pm.

IV, I know you're as crazy about Rufus Sewell as I am. I just saw "Dangerous Beauty" (1998) with him on youtube, it was incredible! He is so young and gorgeous, and the movie is based on a real life story of a courtesan in a 16 century Venice accused of being a witch by Inquisition. A fascinating and extraordinary real love story and a movie is heart-breakingly beautiful.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hmmm yes, I saw it. Rufus in his curly-haired phase. A sumptious bonbon of a movie. I turned a friend of mine on to Rufus with Zen (which my avie was also in), and now she's crazy about him too. We should form a club.

►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄ ►◄
Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.

Submitted by cokeysniffy on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 1:23pm.

I hope he gave her herpes.

Submitted by salacious on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 1:22pm.

So, when are the sex tapes getting leaked?

----
"Sal, darling, you are the reason some women go gay. ♥" - Submitted by Dog on Fri, 07/09/2010 - 6:32pm.
"life is precious, you must not have watched The Lion King, you heartless fuck"

Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 1:21pm.

The fact that Ms. Perry's life decisions are filtered through her parents' sensitivities and zealotry may be a prime reason for the divorce. If she really is all that religious, then she has definitely broken the Biblical edict to cleave unto her husband FORSAKING ALL OTHERS -- including her oppressively interfering parents.

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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkein
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Submitted by Bjork You on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 1:12pm.

Submitted by LaChaylo on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 12:50pm.
She's an opportunistic dumbass. Of course she's playing the Jesus card when it suits her. No one liked her as a Christian artist, so she slutted it up. Now her songs talk about casual sex and are marketed toward young girls. Real responsible bitch. I'm was really annoyed when she talked shit about Gaga and her being sacrilegious. Really, you cotton candy coated ho?

=========

Ditto.

Submitted by LisaRose on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 12:22pm.

I can definitely see him doing the filing to make her look good. I think he'd do anything for her, even now. He's a gentleman despite what most think. Katy is just immature, that is all. I listen to her music and like a lot of her costumes. I don't find Russell funny but I like him as a person. "Arthur" was actually good which surprised me cause I didn't like the original. It has a lot of heart.

_______________________

www.dungeonhordes.com

_______________________

Submitted by vsminimoose on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 12:12pm.

This bitch does understand that her God can see through loopholes like these, right?

Oh just have HIM file for divorce - the big man upstairs won't see through that.

Submitted by tojo on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 12:09pm.

Submitted by Stoney on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 1:12pm.
My fireworks are non-carcinogenic lol.

===================
lol Sorry I couldn't resist! :)

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...the end

Submitted by ElleDriver on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 12:09pm.

They're both slutty loudmouthed attention-whores. But at least Brand can admit this about himself, and never pretended to be otherwise. TEAM RUSSELL!

Submitted by islandgirl on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 12:08pm.

Submitted by jussayin on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 1:16pm.

I Quit This Bitch And I Liked It

-----------
Ahaha, nice one! :)

Submitted by angel_i on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 12:07pm.

Submitted by Desert Rose on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 1:27pm.

Ha! This whole post is great. It's perfect reactions to the HUMONGOUS disparity between religious values and the secular values that take precedence in our communities. We're gonna have to work that shit out one day, for realz, cuz religious values are SUPPOSED to be part and parcel of the rules that hold society together.

Right now it's like most people gots two sets of rules they live by - and then the set they make up for consistency - I don't think that's healthy for the heart and mind.

♥ Threadkilla!
"god bless, buy my single!"~Courtney Stodden

Submitted by Desert Rose on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 11:57am.

Submitted by jerseygirl17 on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 12:44pm.

I've found that people raised in super-religious households tend to be, well, weird and confused. I knew one girl who had like a split super-conservative Christian/group-orgy thing going on. She was also very, very vocally anti-abortion but admitted that she wasn't afraid of getting pregnant because "there's always abortion". I was like "not if you get your way, dumb ass".

I work with a girl who is Muslim, her mom is a convert and is very very very strict, almost to the point to make up for the fact that she was raised Christian. Anyway, the Muslim girl I work with smokes, drinks, does drugs and has sex with pretty much anyone who comes her way. Her parents forced her into an engagement in hopes that marring will calm her down but she cheats on that guy all the time.

Katy seems very crass and greedy to me.

Submitted by MaxThrax on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 11:50am.

Jesus sucks.

Submitted by jussayin on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 11:46am.

I Quit This Bitch And I Liked It
by Russell Brand

Submitted by Stoney on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 11:42am.

My fireworks are non-carcinogenic lol.

_____________________________________________
"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."

Submitted by Dog on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 11:29am.

Submitted by Naughychimp on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 12:49pm.

Yup. Doesn't make it right but we're humans which means we're flawed. I don't smoke, drink or have sex outside my marriage but I do swear when I write. I don't speak swears aloud anymore but I haven't quite cured myself of it in my posts. Some people cherrypick it by stealing and justifying it by saying it doesn't really hurt anyone. Maybe not but it's still a sin. Show me a perfect Christian (or Muslim or Jew or anyone else) and I'll show you a big fat liar. SINNER!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by tojo on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 11:29am.

Submitted by Stoney on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 12:18pm.
I would rather get rectal cancer than watch that garbage Get Him to the Greek again.
_____________

Keep shooting those fireworks out of your ass and you just might get what you ask for ;)

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...the end

Submitted by WWJDFAKB on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 11:28am.

Double post, my bad.

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What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?

http://chakrakahn.tumblr.com/

Submitted by WWJDFAKB on Sat, 12/31/2011 - 11:27am.

I do agree that hat is really cute. Still, I would probably have to be on Russel's side. I can't forgive Katy for having California Girls stuck my head for an entire week. It was also my last week of college, try finishing your graphic design portfolio and website while "daisy dukes, bikini's on top" is looping over and over. If that had lasted any longer I would have ended up assassinating the president or something.

I recently came up with a theory that just about every pothead has seen Get Him To The Greek. Mention something about a Jeffery and furry walls, and they will know exactly what you are talking about.

---------------------------------------
What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar?

http://chakrakahn.tumblr.com/