It’s often occurred to me that Victoria Jackson’s whole “Right Wing conservative-helium-head-wacky bitch-conspiracy theorist” act MIGHT just be some sort of STUNT QUEEN performance art piece. It will all make sense one day at a low-budget indie theater near you (no parmesan to sprinkle on the popcorn and that homeless-looking person you figured for a university professor who left personal hygiene off the syllabus is actually homeless). There you’ll watch Victoria’s documentary on how she fooled America into thinking she was a ridiculous has-been who embarrasses even the Bachmanns, Perrys, and Santorums of the world with her crazy. Probably not, though.
The former SNL cast member has claimed that she recently had a six-hour meeting with the FBI in which she was privy to evidence that reveals America is being taken over by a radical “Muslim Brotherhood.” Fucking that janitor with the security clearance has its privileges!
“I just went to a briefing in Washington DC, across the street from the Capitol, at the Longworth building at 8:30 am two days ago and it changed my life,” Jackson said last week on her web show, “Politichicks.” “For six hours, I saw pictures and names and dates and facts and Islamic law books and Korans, Surahs for six hours and they proved to me… that the Muslim Brotherhood has infiltrated our highest positions in government and this is serious.”
The most chilling part of the meeting that probably took place entirely in Victoria’s fool head? President Obama is behind all of this and we will all have to “convert or be killed’! The Huffington Post reports that Victoria didn’t actually meet with the Feds. She actually met with an ex-FBI agent who got fired for soliciting funds for his own personal anti-terrorism group from a wealthy trial witness he was having an affair with. This meeting probably took place in a Subway after Victoria’s shift was over.
The biggest question here is why in hell does she dress like Minnie Mouse’s developmentally disabled sister?
(via The Huffington Post)