“So, You’re Telling Me That You Had This Much Of Harry Louis’ Burrito Dick In Your Ass?”

December 28, 2011 / Posted by:

All is well in the world now that Marc Jacobs and his ex-fiance Lorenzo Martone are back to meticulously manicuring their pristine as fuck face beards together. Marc Jacobs took a ten second break from Lorenzo to break his brown sugar walls on the mole rat-sized dick of Brazilian fuck star Harry Louis, but he was struttin’ his ass next to Lorenzo in St. Barts yesterday afternoon.

Marc and Lorenzo are in St. Barts with Chupa Zoe and Chupa Jr., and thank EVERYTHING for that. The people of St. Barts would throw themselves into the mouths of open sharks if they noticed that a soul-sucking demon beast was on the island, but they were too busy to notice because they were getting hypnotized by the flecks of glitter that spark off of Lorenzo and Marc when they wink at each other.

I’m not even mad at the fact that Marc’s torso looks like the doodled-on book cover of a lonely 15-year-old girl who sits in a bathroom stall during lunch hour and thinks she’s the reincarnation of Thora Birch’s Ghost World character. Marc looks like the damn head coach of Lisa Frank’s gymnast team.

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