"So, You're Telling Me That You Had This Much Of Harry Louis' Burrito Dick In Your Ass?"
All is well in the world now that Marc Jacobs and his ex-fiance Lorenzo Martone are back to meticulously manicuring their pristine as fuck face beards together. Marc Jacobs took a ten second break from Lorenzo to break his brown sugar walls on the mole rat-sized dick of Brazilian fuck star Harry Louis, but he was struttin' his ass next to Lorenzo in St. Barts yesterday afternoon.
Marc and Lorenzo are in St. Barts with Chupa Zoe and Chupa Jr., and thank EVERYTHING for that. The people of St. Barts would throw themselves into the mouths of open sharks if they noticed that a soul-sucking demon beast was on the island, but they were too busy to notice because they were getting hypnotized by the flecks of glitter that spark off of Lorenzo and Marc when they wink at each other.
I'm not even mad at the fact that Marc's torso looks like the doodled-on book cover of a lonely 15-year-old girl who sits in a bathroom stall during lunch hour and thinks she's the reincarnation of Thora Birch's Ghost World character. Marc looks like the damn head coach of Lisa Frank's gymnast team.
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This Saturday as the St Barts fireworks start blaring over the new years eve sky, Marc will slowly look over at his boy toy who will giddily look back and make to hold Marc in his arms before Marc will retort ‘ Gal, get out of the way, I’m trying to catch my reflection in the fireworks….’
Don’t you wish you were as hawt as them two ponies?
http://scallywagandvagabond.com/2011/12/its-confirmed-marc-jacobs-is-now...
Little Chupa is adorable.
ugh there something nice.
Who the hell gets a sofa tattoo on their stomach? BTW: peanuts sized dicks on the both of them.
MK's headlines always kill me. always!! LMAO
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
Most of these posts are from stink-fish, who have not a clue what is going on here.
Marc is dickmatized, for sure. Doesn't matter who the guy with him is.
He is HOT to me but since he wasn't always, I picture him grinding his teeth, curling up and hugging the pillow VERY TIGHT! You know the type.
As for Lorenzo, curved peen. Looks like a gentle gi.
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BEEJ RUINED! - MK
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Submitted by tojo on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 9:31am.
Submitted by TropicalTangerine on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 9:27am.
I'm in the minority [always] but something is so undeniably secksi about Marc Jacobs to me.
I would
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It's the $$$$$$
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...the end
Could be. My poon is blinded by his millions.
I like his couch tattoo. Well, not really but its so ridiculous, it's awesome.
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
I'm not even mad at the fact that Marc's torso looks like the doodled-on book cover of a lonely 15-year-old girl who sits in a bathroom stall during lunch hour and thinks she's the reincarnation of Thora Birch's Ghost World character
Oh my god, Mikey, you've been ON FIRE these last few months. Heh heh heh heh hee hee hee. Someone HAS to compile a Michael K's Quotes for Every Occasion, because this shit is PURE GOLD.
"Doodled-on book cover of a lonely 15-year-old girl." So hilarious and more importantly, so true. What the FUCK is up with Jacobs?
Where is the STRUTTING THAT ASS tag?
Bjork, you know babies are my soft spot. After having *my* twin angels, Lucy and John-David, I just could never tear down a mother who has been gifted with the meaning of life (a child) by God. Call me when Rachel Zoe starts Googling chloroform and collecting heart stickers.
Submitted by Nancy Grace on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 10:41am.
Skylar is cute! I think motherhood suits Zoe well. I hope she has another one if she wants and it's a girl she can really play dress up with. I'm surprised she hasn't gotten super scary skinny again yet, I think the baby has helped her take care of her health more which is a surprise.
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You are losing your edge, Nancy, and I don't like it.
He had already gone down a mark for his stores that are as ubiquitous as the Kardashians, they are fucking everywhere, but vacationing with Chupa? No, just no.
U know marc is so forgettable,I mean once you take the brand away. whatever he does its like eh...
(I feel everything personal he does is for attention and it just doesn't work its like ok u did rugs big deal u got skinny oh wow and now u have porn bf)
And I can't believe rach isn't making that sucking face oh wait she has it like that when she saw these guys wearing those horrible looking swim suits ugh!
*tell em get in line and kiss your ass MUAH!*
His perfume is awful. Just FYI
I miss nerdy Marc, with the ponytail and black-framed glasses and comfy sweaters.
Mrs. Patrick Campbell, both of these homosexuals appear to be suffering from tinymeat.
Discuss.
Marc Jacobs looked better fat. Bitch looks sick, and not in a good way. And those International Male mooseknuckle enhancing booty shorts he's sporting will haunt me eternally - also not in a good way.
They are two fortunate flamboyant gay homosexuals!
Missy Marc is a teeny tiny lady....how tall is she?
Submitted by TropicalTangerine on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 9:27am.
I'm in the minority [always] but something is so undeniably secksi about Marc Jacobs to me.
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Noooo!! To me, he's a goofy nerd with money.
Why is he poking at his bellybutton in most of these pics? He should just get the damn umbilical hernia fixed if it makes him feel that self conscious.
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Skylar is cute! I think motherhood suits Zoe well. I hope she has another one if she wants and it's a girl she can really play dress up with. I'm surprised she hasn't gotten super scary skinny again yet, I think the baby has helped her take care of her health more which is a surprise.
Little Skyler (despise that name, but cute baby) is a chunk! My son was ginormous as a baby, and I love that look.
Do you think Rachel's already got him on Slim Fast? He'll probably outweigh her in a couple more months.
Submitted by ethang on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 8:22am.
Looks like Marc has cameltoe.
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I was thinking the same thing! Such the bottom!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Nice bods. I hate seeing guys wearing Speedos, though. Maybe it comes from years of competitive swimming or something, but to me it just looks awk, even when the guy is jacked as hell.
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
In the pick with baby Chupa, does Mark's bf have anything on under his wife beater?
Judging by the bystanders in the background, I would have thought St. Petes not St. Barts
Educate yourself on the badass, not-fuck-giving honeybadger, Olivia! ~MK
Submitted by letinstar on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 8:38am.
the couch tat seems incomplete...shouldn't there be pillows or a throw tossed on that couch?
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OMG WE FOUND ABANDONED COUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by TropicalTangerine on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 9:27am.
I'm in the minority [always] but something is so undeniably secksi about Marc Jacobs to me.
I would
=====================================
It's the $$$$$$
============================================
...the end
I'm in the minority [always] but something is so undeniably secksi about Marc Jacobs to me.
I would.
Submitted by islandgirl on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 8:48am.
Submitted by letinstar on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 8:38am.
the couch tat seems incomplete...shouldn't there be pillows or a throw tossed on that couch?
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Or some salad? :P
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*snort* :)
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
Submitted by letinstar on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 8:38am.
the couch tat seems incomplete...shouldn't there be pillows or a throw tossed on that couch?
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Or some salad? :P
Not only is Marc Jacobs one of the dirtiest-looking mofos out there, he has some of the dumbest-looking tats.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Did these two skip over puberty in the genital department? I've changed babies diapers that have had bigger twigs and berries than these two have. And to advertise it in skin tight bathing suits? Well, they must have terribly high self esteem to even try it with undeveloped crotches.
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I don't want to possess you, I wish to marry you because I love you.
Look back... look back at me.
Are you coming home with me?
the couch tat seems incomplete...shouldn't there be pillows or a throw tossed on that couch?
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
oh wow! @ the sofa tattoo.
Looks like Marc has cameltoe.
people need to put more thought into their tattoos....
I was going to comment on the too tight speedo, but got hung up on the damn couch. What's the point of that?
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"'Those who danced were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music.' We hear the music and we still think you're insane, bitch. For the record." [Michael K on Megan Fox]
He has a couch tattoo? Is it abandoned hot slut couch? Is he gonna put the Simpsons on it? Honestly, I try not to judge other people's tattoos 'cause I've gotten enough shit being a woman with *gasp* snake tattoos but a couch!??? Sponge Bob is bad enough. Weird random tattoos.
Ack. For some reason that fourth pic looks to me like Marc is channeling the ghost of the Crackie of Camden.
And that ill-fitting bathing suit isn't doing him any favors.
"Sacred cows make the best hamburger." - Mark Twain
edit because I was dumb. Sorry, I really thought they were married, guess I didn't read the update back then ;)
I guess I should start reading the entry before commenting. It has all been said. Well, live and learn.
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Rrridiaouw woo oo rrri-ou!
I am totally turned on by Marc Jacobs in that speedo (which looks oddly empty...). Going back to bed now. Hopefully, I will wake up in reality.
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"When I come up, I rush, I rush for you..."
I can't believe that Marc Jacobs is an accomplished designer. He looks like a 16-year-old emo girl who got bored in class and then started doodling ridiculous shit on herself. What the hell. And where is his peen and nutsack? Is that a vagina?
♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬♩♪♫♬
Rrridiaouw woo oo rrri-ou!
thank the stars chupa covered her shit up...she should've brought an extra one for marc, so he could cover up those horrible tats...
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
omg i can see Marc's cameltoe.
that is definately not a good look when you look like you have a cameltoe instead of a thick cock.
How does Chupa find the strength in those skinny arms to hold her baby? He is bigger than her!
I was about to comment on Marc's lame as hell star tattoos, then I noticed spongebob (still lame) and a woman who looks like connie francis in where the boys are to me. But I have to give him credit for the sofa tattoo. I don't like it, but it seems really original. And I can't imagine anyone copying it. Can we call an end to tattoos before another generation is ruined?
Is everyone in St. Barts right now but me? And where is the dude's penis in the striped red panties? Is that what a mangina looks like?