Shit Gets Weird(er) With Katy and Russell
Trouble in paradise? That may be the case, if by paradise you mean a squeeky voiced Muppet who always shoves her boobs in your face and a low rent 70's Cousin It from the planet Weirdo. A very respectable source, aka Us Weekly reports that Katy Perry and Russell Brand spent Christmas on opposite sides of the globe after having a huge blowout. No, unfortunately I'm not talking about Katy's implants.
Us Weekly says "They had a massive fight. She was like, 'F--k you. I'm going to do my own thing.' Russell replied, 'Fine, f--k you too.'" Ah, romance. And couldn't they spice it up a little, like "Fuck you in your mangy flea infested beard" and "Fine, titty fuck you too!" Gawd, I have to do everything around here. Even their fights are boring. So after they exchanged the bad kind of fucks, Katie jetted off to Hawaii with friends while her hairier half went to Cornwall.
They're still officially a couple but their friends are saying they've been at each others' throats for months, and it's getting worse. Maybe she watched some of Russell's "stand up" and he heard "Firework" and they got a big slap of wtf did I do with my life to the face. Or maybe Russell got tired of Katy always trapping him by his hair during sexy times (you're welcome for that image). But some people are saying that it's because Russell doesn't respect Katy's parents or Christian friends. Shocking, I know.
Anyway, there's been rumors that they're headed for the big D. And Katy was not wearing her wedding ring in Hawaii...UH OH. Ladies, your prayers have been answered! Russell may be back on the market soon!! Look for him in the discount bin next to the dented cans of creamed corn.
Us Weekly
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Sweetas, you are doing so well! KUDOS!
Submitted by lindseyann on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 5:48pm.
OWNED. LOL
Submitted by GlitterKitty on Sat, 07/23/2011 -
Is playing a cunt on the internet as satisfying as wanking into your mum's nightie? Because something tells me you'd know all about that.
"if by paradise you mean a squeeky voiced Muppet who always shoves her boobs in your face and a low rent 70's Cousin It from the planet Weirdo."
You are a freakin' genius MK.
She is a talentless hack, and mediocre looking at best.
He tried to be "Arthur", so fuck him.
May they both disappear into obscurity, separately or together, I don't care. Just want them gone.
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Cupid, draw back your bow
And let you arrow flow
Straight to my lover's heart for me
-Sam Cooke
Submitted by cokeysniffy on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 6:04pm.
I hate how Katy has stolen rockabilly/retro style but has the worst prefabricated pop music of all time. So I'm team Brand on this one. She seems really annoying. But she has fantastic bewbs.
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I agree 100% about that autotuned ho destroying the look. I think her ass is better that her ta-tas though. Check out a picture of her at the Smurf movie premiere.
Russell has realized that he's never going to make it big over here no matter what so he's probably ready to bust loose and let his crusty freak flag fly. It'll probably get him more attention than playing second fiddle to a pair of tits. Neither of them got the bump they wanted from the marriage so why keep faking it.
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Taking crazy things seriously is a serious waste of time."
— Haruki Murakami
Submitted by lindseyann on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 5:48pm.
Ha, ha!!
I'd have problems with that bitch too after she was shitfaced while he was giving a tribute to Amy Winehouse. Really, have some respect.
Submitted by QueenieBK on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 5:55pm.
Someone buy that nasty dude a brush, shampoo and some soap.
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Like he'd know what to do with it all...
Submitted by ewe on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 6:08pm.
Like he'd know what to do with it all.
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If Russell were 10, 12 years old, I'm sure Jerry Sandusky would LOVE to teach him proper hygiene skills.
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
I love Russell Brand, but anyone even remotely familiar with his background knows he's a handful of crazy. Makes it hard to maintain a marriage.
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"And to the commentator who snarked that Boston can't be a drinking city because we don't have a legal happy hour - think again, chief. We work around that shit."
I hate how Katy has stolen rockabilly/retro style but has the worst prefabricated pop music of all time. So I'm team Brand on this one. She seems really annoying. But she has fantastic bewbs.
I cannot with either of them. he's gross, she's annoying as fucking hell. come to think of it, they really should stay together, who else wants em?
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Don't stand on my tits, bitch!
Someone buy that nasty dude a brush, shampoo and some soap.
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"... and her temper worse than wildfire it is gunpowder and blows up everything ..." Mary Shelley
Dog said, "Dear Katy:
Real Christians don't sleep around. They don't get wasted and think it's funny, and they don't give countless and nauseating interviews about how good they think they are in bed.
And ya don't need to be a Christian to know we reap what we sow. Or, as your un-Christian ass might understand it, karma is a bitch."
Dear, Dog:
A "real Christian" wouldn't judge others or make false assumptions.
Good job on giving an entire religion a bad name.
Also, your unnecessary profanity really doesn't make your case any better.
I sold this girl face cream once.
She stole all my perfume samples.
Submitted by Sandbitch on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 5:03pm.
I wondered how long it would take (a dumb bitch) to figure she'd married the most annoying Brit on the planet. I don't know how she can listen to that piddly little voice of his.
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Or the buggly eyes gapping at you.... or that mangle of messy hair that always looks like it smells bad.......... WTF indeed!
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I guess it's best to end a relationship the same way you start it: absolutely fucking tanked. MK 6/11
This is one of those obvious: how long before the bitch wakes up on a bright sunny morning and walks around in shock with her eyes bugged out and her mouth open and says to her mate: "I'm actually married to you ?!"
There was a blind years ago, about the singer who wouldn't give it up till she was married. Obviously her, and good on her for going with her beliefs.
I wondered how long it would take (a dumb bitch) to figure she'd married the most annoying Brit on the planet. I don't know how she can listen to that piddly little voice of his.
She's signed up with the Illuminati Monarch programming like CaCa, so I avoid her at all costs. I'd be friends with Russell though. I could use an amusing ho friend. *shrugs*
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
she's been looking a little bloated and "I don't give a fuck anymore" lardy and pear shaped lately
Submitted by elmo533 on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 4:22pm.
Truth be told I don't follow the girl, or her husband. The only time I read about her is online with gossip or entertainment news. That said, I haven't seen anything that leads me to think she's touting being a 'good Christian' or anything like that. That's why I mentioned that her mom is writing that book, as far as I have been able to tell those 2 aren't currently on the best of terms.
So I am not sure why the whole 'Christian' thing was even brought up in the post. Unless there is something I've missed.
I can't stand either of these two supremely untalented wankers. Please break up before reproducing...thx.
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Never question Bruce Dickinson!
Submitted by TequilaTax on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 4:13pm.
Never heard of it. But being Saved doesn't mean one is perfect. If he is drinking and swearing, it doesn't mean he isn't a Christian unless he is hiding it. A True Believer has faults and admits them while trying to eliminate them. If he is doing those things and not hiding them, he still could be Saved, however, until he completely stops doing them he needs to lay off advising people. He advises people not to do what he himself is doing and he plays right into the stereotype of the Christian who tells people not to sin while being the biggest sinner of all, a la Jimmy Swaggart.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Jintess
Submitted by Dog
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This is why I don't like the girl. She is so nauseating about how Christian she is and how much she loves Jesus all the time, yet live the exact opposite lifestyle (but I do have to throw shade on Mama Perry for writing a book--tell it to your prayer circle girl!). On top of all that she "writes" shitty songs that get beaten to death on the radio. And as for Rusty, I can't think of a comedienne that is less funny than he is.
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"I bet his crotch looks like an uncooked dough cigar lying on a bed of saffron" MK
She can rebound with me.
I'll NEVER buy any of her "suburban white girl" anthems...and if she sounds like that in bed I'll stuff a sock (or something) in it...but ho's body is tight.
Submitted by Dog on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 3:45pm.
Would you send your post to the guy over at iHustleNation? He is this up and coming advice host who claims he is a christian but curses and drinks like any sinner. (Don't know if he sleeps around since he likes to keep that part of his life to himself)
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
Somewhere, that guy from Gym Class Heroes is laughing his tattooed ass off.
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Don't let anyone tell you you're not humpable,
Because you're bumpable. Well I hope this doesn't make you feel uncomfortable
Submitted by Bjork You on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 3:44pm.
(although her uncle, Frank Perry, rocks because he directed "Mommie Dearest").
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I wonder if, inherently, that is part of the reason why she choose her hair to be the color of polluted Detroit snow- ugly but artificial enough to keep you watching..
Dear Katy:
Real Christians don't sleep around. They don't get wasted and think it's funny, and they don't give countless and nauseating interviews about how good they think they are in bed.
And ya don't need to be a Christian to know we reap what we sow. Or, as your un-Christian ass might understand it, karma is a bitch.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
He doesn't respect her parents or her Christian friends? Well, finally a reason to like him (although her uncle, Frank Perry, rocks because he directed "Mommie Dearest").
She annoys the shit out of me...like alot. But I love her body. Not too skinny...curves in all the right places.
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
*yawn*
If it is true so much for trying to work things out.
And they won't let gays, who have been together for decades, get married why?
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
VOM VOM VOM VOM *vomits a little in my mouf*
IDK...just something about him that makes me think of patchouli, mud, moth-ball smelling cow pies
And she does absolutely ZERO for me
*sings 'Make em' go ugh ugh ugh'*
Considering Katy's mom is writing a book about her and giving interviews about how disappointed she is, odds are she didn't spend time with her 'Christian' friends (or family) while in Hawaii.
Could care less.
You can't parlay fun fucky times into a marriage, you assholes.
I hate her "Christian" crap. Bitch, please. She signed on to Satan's army the day she filled out her titties with raw chicken, and shook them for the money while belting out her inane lyrics with her crappy ass voice.
Cafeteria Christians can be just as annoying as fundamentalists.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha jpeg names!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
iwanttocutyourightnow.jpg
katiesboobsaloneinhawaii.jpg
cornwallyrussel.jpg
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Guns kill people like spoons make you fat............
He is so gross-looking.
Well, Katy. Just like Demi Moore, you shoved your "awesome" marriage down everyone's throats and ain't payback a bitch? Apparently he couldn't stand you, either.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Her boobs are much too pendulous to be store-boughten IMHO
"great, big, large pendulous breasts - I'd like to fill a bra" - Bubble
Between the two...I hate Katy Perry less...plus she has a lot more money than he will ever have...I'll go with her then.
Shocking!
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by TropicalTangerine on Wed, 12/28/2011 - 3:24pm.
My boyfriend will be happy to hear this. He's gay for Russell Brand.
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I think Russell Brand is gay for Russell Brand. They have something in common! :p
MEH. She got FUG face without her icing bag fulla make up and he is SOOOO unfunny.
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When somebody brands you as a cunt, you thank them since that's better than getting knighted by the queen herself.~MK 8/15/11
*picks about in discount bin*
Eeeww, gross, what's this next to this delicious dented can of creamed corn????
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Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.
Anything to keep these idiots from breeding
*shudder*
"How to give yourself a golden shower medal: lay down face up, find a way to piss up into the air and turn around really fast so the golden shower lands on your nalgas. -MK
I would with or without a jug of lysol wipes....
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The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
I know she's annoying and so is her music, but DAMN she's got a great body. *slaps herself*
Ha! She doesn't respect her parents, either. Whatever.
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Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
My boyfriend will be happy to hear this. He's gay for Russell Brand.