Sinead O’Connor Just Beat Kim Kardashian’s Record

December 27, 2011 / Posted by:

In a shocking turn of events that nobody saw coming, Sinead O’Connor’s marriage to the sweet-faced tenhead man lasted just a second longer than 7 hours and 15 days. Sinead announced on her blog last night that she is quitting Barry Herridge after being married to him for a total of 18 days. Sinead writes that because Barry’s family pushed hard pressure on him (the same way a peen pushes hard pressure into Sinead’s asshole to turn her difficult brown into easy brown) to leave her ass, she has decided to end their love. Here’s a piece of what Sinead wrote on her site last night:

Within 3 hours of the ceremony being over the marriage was kyboshed by the behaviour of certain people in my husband’s life. And also by a bit of a wild ride i took us on looking for a bit of a smoke of weed for me wedding night as I don’t drink. My husband was enormously wounded and very badly effected by that experience and also by the attitude of those close to him toward our marriage. It became apparent to me that if he were to stay with me he would be losing too much to bear. And that being with me was not going to serve him positively , career wise or any other wise. I saw his life leave him because of how people close to him reacted. And I can’t take anyone’s life. And a woman wants to be a joy to her husband. So.. U love someone? Set them free.

He is a wonderful man. I love him very much. I’m sorry I’m not a more regular woman. I truly believe though it is painful to admit, we made a mistake rushing into getting married, for altruistic reasons, and weren’t aware or prepared for the consequences on my husband’s life and the lives of those close to him. He has been terribly unhappy and I have therefore ended the marriage. I think he is too nice to do so. And too nice to trap.

He is as I said, a wonderful man. We part amicably. I wish him to be free and happy and loved and supported and for him to have privacy as that is utmost important for his job and for the children he treats as a therapist so I plead on theirs and his behalf for media to please leave him and his family alone. I really beg this.

You know, not all loves are meant to last forever. Barry spent his honeymoon doing some Pineapple Express shit while looking for some weed all over Las Vegas and I’m sure if he rubs his peen really hard and puts his hand to his nose, he can still smell Sinead’s difficult brown. That is real love right there. And what I’ve learned from Sinead’s ten second queef of a marriage is to always keep the name of a good weed man in every city on file.

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