The Christmas angels in Chicago have given the Internet a holiday miracle this year and that miracle is called Jan Terri’s comeback! YAASSS! When you first walk through the broken gates of the Internet, you immediately see a welcome sign with Jan Terri’s “Losing You” video on it. Jan Terri is the soundtrack of our Internet lives. And after years of praying for her return, she is back with the perfect holiday song for you to sing to yourself while you’re three Lohans to the wind and locked in the bathroom to get away from your family. I’ll hum this song while cutting into a piece of holiday tiramisu at an Olive Garden in Rome. They have Olive Garden in Italy, right?
This year, my family decided to skip the giving presents shit and instead we’re really getting neck deep into the holiday spirit by torturing and annoying each other while traveling all around Italy for a week. I’ve already come up with a drinking game. Every time my sister asks if they have any gluten-free pasta, I’ll shoot myself. No, she’s not going to ask that, because she’s bringing her own (no joke). Anyway, I will still blog something every day, but while I’m seeing all the beautiful sights of Italy (examples: the alley way where Snooki passed out, the STD clinic built in The Situation’s name) seasoned Dlisted guest blogger Sweetas and J. Harvey, formerly of Socialite Life and currently of Manhunt Daily, will be filling in the fuckery for me. Sweetas will continue to write all the Charlize Theron fanfic you need and J. Harvey will fill the quota for b-hole jokes. Also, my friend Lahoma will be covering most of the Hot Sluts. Lahoma used to write for Dlisted back in the olden days when I was on Blogspot and he’s the one who came up with Hot Slut of the Day, so he’s the perfect piece of trash for the job.
Dlisted will return to its normally scheduled foolery on January 3rd.
And now I have to go and practice how to say “Oh no, officer, that’s just American oregano for my allergies…” in Italian. Merry Rojo Calientemas!
(Jan Terri’s Return via TGBHH)