Haven’t we all been there before? You’re leaning against the bar at Helsinki’s biggest gay club and the sweet nectar is numbing your good judgement as you’re getting a little high from sniffing the toxic hairspray fumes wafting down from the gigantic hair cliff on your head. Life is beautiful, but then it all changes when your eyes scan the room and you catch your Finnish piece doing some shit your drunk self does not approve of. The “dramatic cunt theatrics” switch in your brain goes on and suddenly you’re doing the kind of shit that Klymaxx used to write songs about. You start fighting with your boyfriend inside of the club and it spills out onto the street.
You’re slapping at him like your name is Sharon Stone and Martin Scorsese’s got a camera on you. Usually, it ends with you huffing on home by yourself and passing out on the living room floor while a plate of nachos is half shoved into your pie hole. You wake up with the mangled carcass of a nacho chip dangling out of your mouth and you crawl over to the sofa to wake your boyfriend up with the stank breath cloud of hungover regret that comes out of your mouth when you whisper, “I’m sorry.” But that’s not how it ended for Glamberace and his boyfriend Sauli Koskinen.
Ilta-Sanomat and TMZ both report that Glamberace and Sauli were arrested last night in Helsinki after getting into a fight in front of a gay club. Before the police arrived, Glamberace got psychical with a few people who tried to break up the fight. Both Glamberace and Sauli were taken into custody. They were questioned and later released, because neither of them had brawl bruises on them. This morning (aka THE MORNING AFTER….dun..dun…dun), Sauli wrote this on his blog:
“Publicity is not easy, but also celebrities are just human. Love is not easy either, but it lasts forever!”
Err, nope. Love does not last forever. Love ends for me when a ho fucks with my buzz by dragging me out of a club to beat my ass on the street. But drunken love brawls happen and the witnesses did get a special Christmas gift in the form of watching a Goth Heat Miser scrapping with a Finish twinkie who has hair like a butch My Little Pony.