Afternoon Crumbs

Do you want to call the authorities or shall I, because it’s pretty obvious that crazed madmen are holding Vanessa Hudgens’ loved ones hostage and have threatened to hurt them if she doesn’t go out in public looking like the worst parts of the 90s shat all over her – Popoholic

Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux’s holiday card looks like the wine list at a Dracula-themed restaurant – Lainey Gossip

Stacy Keibler and George Clooney are in Mehico for the holidays. Meanwhile, I think Sarah Larson got a second job as a cocktail waitress at Acapulco. Take that, Stacy! – (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

Mimi keeps it demure in Aspen – Celebitchy

Yeah, Stephanie Seymour is hot, but I’m not sure how I feel about the fact her bikini looks exactly like these crocheted coasters my Japanese grandma kept in her front room – The Superficial

And just like that, the Guinness World Record for the most simultaneous nerd boners not brought on by anything Star Wars-related was made – Towleroad

Hot pieces of the 90s – The Berry

This is actually pretty pilgrimesque for Taylor Momsen – Hollywood Tuna

Dear Kate Borington, please get some serious manicure advice from the chick in the middle – Popsugar

Tis the season for Mimi’s 90s curls – Just Jared

Brittany Murphy’s mother is a regular old Detective La Toya – ICYDK

I don’t know whether to stick a tongue depressor in his mouth or take a Dramamine and jump on his back – OMG Blog

This seems about right – Celebslam

JLo takes her son out for a walk – Hollywood Rag

I kept waiting for the part where Gordon Ramsay’s heart jumps out of his chest and shoves itself in his mouth – The Daily What

The picture that will make any all-you-can-eat buffet cry for mercy – SOW

NeNe Leakes got that GLEE CHECK – I’m Not Obsessed

IN THIS ECONOMY, even the jungle monkeys have to work for their bananas – Cityrag