Marc Jacobs Got Himself A Brazilian Porn Star Piece

December 20, 2011 / Posted by:

Marc Jacobs’ former fiance Lorenzo Martone meticulously manicured the hair scarf hugging his face the same way some of us meticulously manicure our taint bush into shapes of the season (mine’s Rudolph’s head poking out of a wreath), so I didn’t think Marc would ever find a piece who puts hair face grooming first. I stand corrected, because the Internet is saying that Marc is spreading his nipples all over this South American piece with a world-class eyebrow situation. (Joe Jonas, take note, this is what those wolf pubes over your eyes would look like after a visit from tweezers and an ice cub.)

The hot piece hugging on Marc from the back is Brazilian porn star and (NSFW) rent boy Harry Louis and he Tweeted out the picture above along with a note about how he’s in love…blah blah blah…Paris…love… blah blah blah…. etc… GPS Brasilia has been saying for a couple of weeks now that Harry is Marc’s new bought-and-paid-for bitch. Harry refused to say anything about this shit (a smart hooker never tells) and Marc closed his lips to the rumor that he’s pulling a Calvin Klein.

I know your ass Googles Marc Jacobs’ name every night before you go to bed so you can rest with the assurance of knowing that you know everything about Marc Jacobs’ personal life, but I have a good reason for posting this shit. This reason is the answer to all of your questions!

You: Michael, why are you posting this shit?
Answer: FAT PEEN!

You: Michael, why does Marc Jacobs look like his overworked jaw is about to file a forced labor claim against his mouth?
Answer: FAT PEEN!

You: Michael, why would Marc fly that trick to Paris and shower him with expensive gifts?
Answer: FAT PEEN!

And since you’re only looking at this post, because your eyes flew to the words “FAT PEEN” like, well, like eyes to the words “FAT PEEN,” (NSFW) click here to see it. Warning: If you have a prostate, looking at that double stuffed dick might put (more) bruises on it. Looking at it will also give you a lunch craving for a monster burrito with extra beans. I’ll place your order now.

via Gawker

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